I sure hope someone buys my screenplay about an innocent Twitter user who is cursed to read only the HOTTEST of takes. Does he give in to the darkness and become what he hates? You'll have to see it to find out!
Melky Cabrera sets Blue Jays hit record for April
Our old friend Melky set Toronto's April record with 41 hits so far, and that's with one day left. Now, we all remember him with the Giants in 2012, hitting like Pete Rose if he was moonlighting as the webmaster of NoSeriouslyINeverGambledOnBaseball.org. Sadly, Pete lost the .com address in a hotly contested game of pinochle.
The joys of watching position players take the mound
There is very little in baseball that's more fun than watching position players pitching. Usually it happens in blowouts, when there's no reason to tire out a reliever the team might need tomorrow, but occasionally, when it's the 16th inning and you're out of pitchers, magic happens. We all remember Chris Davis, of course, and probably Wilson Valdez too, but what about Brent Mayne? He pitched a scoreless 12th in 2000 Coors Field, which by my calculations means he has the best ERA+ in baseball history.
Warriors Had the Blueprint For a Dramatic Boycott Ready to Go
Damn it, now I kinda wish Silver had Seligged and "appointed a blue-ribbon committee", just because it would have been incredible to see this happen. I guess it's better for the NBA and for society for Silver to have done the right thing, but man, it would have been fun to see everything go haywire. "WHY IS TNT AIRING THE BIG BANG THEORY?" people would ask. "I WANT TO WATCH SPORTS."
Painting the Black: Singles Falling Steady
What's up with Zack Wheeler's BABIP? Obviously he has tons of talent and his control can get wonky sometimes, but a .349 BABIP is abnormally high for anyone. The good news for him is that his ERA still isn't terrible, so when the hits stop dropping in, LIKE THEY WILL FOR EVERY PITCHER I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU TIM LINCECUM YOU'LL STRAIGHTEN THIS ALL OUT SOON I KNOW, he'll be on track for a great year.
On an unrelated note, Carlos Beltran currently has a OPS+ of 133.
Felix Pie runs in from center field to tell his pitcher to throw strikes
We already knew the KBO was great because they employ Brett Pill, but now, more! I hope this is how every frustrated AAAA player acts in Korea, just constantly berating his teammates for not being better, and then the teammates yell something back at him, but it's in Korean, so he doesn't know what they're saying. At the end of the day, he tries to high-five his teammates, but they all stare at him. You could pronounce your last name like pie, but you don't. YOU DON'T.