Barry Bonds coaching, subjected to questions not about coaching

what in the hell is this thing coming toward me - Christian Petersen

Oh, well.

This happened.

Reporter: Are you prepared to admit your PED use now, like Mark McGwire did before he became the hitting coach of the Dodgers?

Barry Bonds: I already went to court, and that's where I'll leave it.

This did not happen.

Reporter: Are you prepared to admit your PED use now, like Mark McGwire did before he became the hitting coach of the Dodgers?

Barry Bonds: I am. Everyone, please, pull up a chair. I have things I need to get off my chest, things you should all hear. It's going to happen right now, here, at spring training, in my first press conference since returning to the Giants in a coaching capacity. Man, I feel better already, and I haven't even got to the good stuff. Here's …

/pulls out leather-bound ledger

Barry Bonds: … everything I ever took. I wrote this by hand. I took a calligraphy course before I started it! Check this shit out …

Barry Bonds is in a Giants uniform, and people are asking him about steroids. Welcome to the misplaced priorities of the rest of the world. Some questions I'd expect Bonds to answer before a PED-related question:

Reporter: Barry, can you tell us your thoughts on abortion?

Reporter: Have you ever been unfaithful to your wife, and if so, can you describe your favorite time in great detail?

Reporter: Barry, does this look infected? If so, can you lance it?

Yet he still got the steroid questions. Laaaaaaaaame.

My preferred questions would be simple: Barry, how much of what you did successfully can be taught? Barry, which player in the Giants' current lineup do you think can benefit most from your help? Barry, does this look inf ... I mean, how do you anticipate working with players who have a less patient approach to hitting, considering that's the opposite of how you played?

Nope.

"I was really thinking this was gonna be where he opened up about steroids, too."

There are three takeaways from the Barry Bonds press conference:

  1. It is 2007 again, and everything Bonds does comes with the distraction of PED-related questions.
  2. Barry Bonds will always be awesome enough to be worth the distractions.
  3. Barry Bonds is in Arizona right now to work with Giants hitters so they can hit baseballs better.

That last one. Oh, that last one. How can it not work? If there's knowledge to be gleaned, how can Bonds not be the one to wield the glean cannon? There has to be something he can tell hitters, right?

Barry Bonds in camp is a good thing, maybe the best of things. Let this be a reminder of how obnoxious the distractions can be. But make sure you remember how much better Bonds made everything Giants, distractions be damned.

Edit: Bay Area Sports Guy got a ton of great stuff with Bonds, if you're looking for thoughtful questions.

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