Giants scouting Aledmys Diaz

Giants won't sign Aledmys Diaz

According to Joe Strauss of the Post-Dispatch, the Giants are interested in Cuban shortstop Aledmys Diaz.

The Giants will not sign Aledmys Diaz.

According to Jon Paul Morosi of Fox Sports, the Giants are scouting Diaz, who could command more than $30 million.

The Giants will not sign Aledmys Diaz.

This is the point where we stand up and decide not to care about stray rumors. Fight back, dammit. The Giants never sign these guys. They signed Kensuke Tanaka, but only after he kept texting them at 3:00 in the morning, asking for an application. Before that was Osvaldo Fernandez. Before that was, dunno, Juan Marichal. The Giants don't sign these guys. They poke and prod and kick hella tires, but they never come away with a foreign free agent to distract the masses.

I have theories.

In the Giants' scouting department, there's a guy. We'll call him Chet. And Chet is a total jackass. During every organizational meeting, he loudly brings up that the Giants should have drafted Mike Trout. He eats peanut butter and crackers without anything to drink with them, and it's distracting. Seems painful. He table drums constantly. Sometimes "Wipeout", sometimes "One", but never anything else. And he smells like coffee breath, even when he hasn't had coffee in a week.

He's in your cubicle, right now. Go away, Chet.

Except Chet's not a bad guy. He's not evil or malicious. Just unpleasant. And he's not a bad scout, either. He has his moments. Plus, his wife has health concerns, and he needs the insurance, so firing him doesn't make sense.

So the Giants send him on the road. Constantly. Whenever a Cuban male over the age of 15 immigrates to the country, Chet's there, just in case. He watches Masahiro Tanaka, and he watches Jose Dariel Abreu. And he watches Aledmys Diaz, whom the Giants won't sign, even if there's a strong chance they'll need a second baseman or third baseman in the next couple years, and according to Strauss …

Diaz is considered a more advanced hitter than Erisbel Arruebarruena, a more gifted defender who last week agreed to a deal believed worth about $25 million with the Dodgers. Diaz’s bat, however, allows him to project at any of three infield positions.

Seems like a guy the Giants could use if the scouting checks out. But they won't get him. They just want to make sure Chet has something to do.

I kind of feel bad for Chet. And I wish the Giants would sign one of these guys to entertain us for a week or so. This guy sounds swell. An infielder who might hit? For half-Rowand prices? An infielder the Cardinals are interested in?

Convince them, Chet. Make them listen to you, just this once. Unless he's overrated. In which case, keep doing your thing, Chet. Pick up absently humming to yourself if you're looking for a new hobby. People love it.

All links are hat-tapped to MLB Trade Rumors, btw.

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