A typical series preview would go something like this:
The Rockies haven't been very good this year, just like the Giants. Also, Todd Helton's goatee is still stupid.
Rinse, repeat, from now until the end of time. Turns out when the Giants play the same teams 58 times every season, I run out of things to say about them.
So in lieu of a traditional series preview, let's look for some factoids about the history of Rockies/Giants games since AT&T Park opened. Factoids are like Cheez-Its. The first few are really delicious, but soon your mouth is filled with dry, jagged flavor mush that you don't remember consuming. But that's your problem, not mine.
The average Giants/Rockies game at AT&T Park is a 4-3 Giants win.
Or if you want to be more specific, a 4.41 to 3.17 Giants win. I would have guessed 2-1, actually, but them's the facts. And that makes this game the most typical Giants/Rockies game ever played in San Francisco. Seems about right. Cain getting cained, Cody Ross annoying the other team, and Troy Tulowitzki doing horrible things.
The Giants and Rockies once played an 11-inning game under three hours
Winning pitcher? Jeremy Affeldt. Except he was on the Rockies. He got Barry Bonds to dribble one in front of the plate in the ninth inning of a 1-1 game. Boy, I wish we had video of that.
No, seriously, the Rockies usually don't score a lot at AT&T Park
The distribution of Rockies runs in the 122 games they've played since the park opened:
0 runs: 15
1 run: 22
2 runs: 23
3 runs: 14
4 runs: 14
5 runs: 13
6 runs: 11
7 runs: 2
8 runs: 3
9 runs: 3
10 or more: 2
Jesse Foppert has as many wins against the Rockies at AT&T Park as Ubaldo Jimenez has against the Giants at AT&T Park
Probably didn't deserve its own header, but you deserved to know this. (They both have two wins, by the way.) Matt Cain leads the Giants in career wins against the Rockies at AT&T with 11, Jason Schmidt is second with six, and Barry Zito is third with five.
JD Closser has the highest OPS in AT&T Park, min. 10 AB
The worst Rockies hitter of all time at AT&T? Probably Juan Uribe, who hit .121/.148/.207 in 61 plate appearances at AT&T while with the Rockies.
Todd Helton has played the equivalent of a half-season at AT&T Park
He's played a little more, actually. In 398 plate appearances since 2000, Helton has hit .246/.357/.370 with six home runs at AT&T. This is probably because he's a ballpark-generated mirage who would have been out of baseball six years ago if he didn't play in the hitteringest ballpark in history. Also his goatee is still stupid.
(Note: I believe only one of those things up there)
Brian Fuentes has the most career appearances by a Rockie at AT&T Park
He had 25 appearances here as a Rockie. Javier Lopez is tied for ninth with nine.
There is a lot of Rockies/Giants incest
Whoops, that's supposed to read "insects" and it was supposed to be followed by a GIF of Hunter Pence crawling out of Todd Helton's goatee. But also, there have been a lot of shared players between the two franchises. A sample Rockies/Giants lineup:
C - Everyone
1B - Andres Galarraga
2B - Marco Scutaro
SS - Neifi Perez
3B - Charlie Hayes
LF - Jeffrey Hammonds
CF - Tom Goodwin
RF - Ellis Burks
SP - Livan Hernandez
SP - Shawn Estes
SP - Jeff Fassero
SP - Jamey Wright
SP - Bill Swift
RP - Jeremy Affeldt
RP - Ramon Ramirez
RP - Guillermo Moscoso
RP - Javier Lopez
RP - LaTroy Hawkins
RP - Matt Herges
Jonathan Sanchez was on the Rockies last year at this time
This is probably the worst series preview ever
Probably! But it's over now. So you have that going for you.