Matt Cain pitches brilliantly, Giants lose anyway

Thearon W. Henderson

A "caining," if you will.

Shut up, baseball.

Seriously, we got it. If it wasn't the Homer Bailey game, it was Nate Schierholtz hitting the only home run in a 1-0 game. And if it wasn't that, it was the Jeff Francoeur signing, or Brandon Belt making the game-losing error on Social Media Night.

We got it. It's not the Giants' year. It was the Giants' year last year, and that was special. It is not the Giants' year this year. But baseball won't shut up about it. Baseball like a six-year-old little brother that you're forced to babysit on a Friday night, ruining your plans with Scarlett from pre-calc. And your brother/baseball is rolling around on your bed, sing-song chanting at you:

You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. Because of meeeeeeeeee.

Okay. Yeah, I know.

You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. Because of meeeeeeeeee.

Okay. I get it.

You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. Because of meeeeeeeeee.

SHUT UP.

You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. You don't get to go on your date. Because of meeeeeeeeee.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Baseball's breaking your crap, going through your sock drawer, and putting on your cologne when you aren't looking, too. Baseball is just the worst. Shut up, baseball.

Star-divide

Which is to say, I'm not sure if this is the Giants' year. Let's focus on that bottom of the eighth for a second. Brandon Crawford hit a ball that would have been out of 29 different ballparks. It would have been out of the Astrodome. It would have been out of the Polo Grounds. It would have been one of the longest home runs hit at Candlestick all year.

At least it wasn't caught. Fine. So it's a leadoff extra-base hit.

And it bounced right to Norichika Aoki. It was a foot away from being a homer, it caromed off the faux bricks, and instead of spitting off at an angle, it went right to Aoki. Fine. So it's a leadoff double.

Then Hunter Pence scalded a ball. Absolutely scalded it. He sat on his pitch, got it, and hit it as hard as he could. It went right to Aoki in right field. It got to him in .5 seconds, and he barely had to move. Fine. So it's a runner at third with one out.

That brought up the best hitter on the team, if not the best player in the league. Buster Posey should get MVP consideration this year, even if he won't because the Giants are horrible. Posey is everything good about this team, personified. But he took one off the triceps earlier in the game. Maybe that made a difference, and maybe it didn't. But Posey grounded out with the infield in. Fine. So it's a runner at third with two outs.

Pablo Sandoval came up, and he couldn't get the Giants' first two-out hit with a runner in scoring position since May 19. Way to keep the streak alive, Pablo! It was a pop-up to end the inning. What should have been a homer that should have been a triple that should have scored on a hit from Pence ended up being nothing but a frustrating sequence.

Then the Giants made an error in the next half-inning to give the other team a run. Because of course they did.

If you went to four games last year, go to eight. If you went to eight, go to 16. If you went to 16, go to 32. If you went to 32, go to 64. And if you went to 64, go to 81 this year, and sit outside the park for the other 47 days, sucking your thumb and waiting for baseball to start again because this stuff is awesome.

Star-divide

Matt Cain pitched brilliantly tonight. Matt Cain allowed four baserunners in seven innings. Since being removed in the first inning of that embarrassing Mets game, Matt Cain has a 1.67 ERA in four starts.

Matt Cain.

Dammit.

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