Giants lose to Rockies in least exciting game in years

"Everyone, come and check this guy out! Hurry! He's completely freaky. Hurry!" - photo credit - Dustin Bradford

Years!

The Giants were shut out in Coors Field in May. Juan Nicasio pitched six innings of scoreless ball, and Barry Zito allowed five runs.

The Giants were almost shut out again. Juan Nicasio pitched six innings of scoreless ball, and Barry Zito allowed five runs.

But they scored a run in the ninth inning of this game! Instead of losing 5-0, they lost 6-1. This is an important development. Soon they'll be losing 7-2. With enough work, they can lose 8-3 or even 9-4. If they lost 10-5, at least we can be proud of the lineup. At 11-6, why, they'd be half of a juggernaut. As is, they're losing by five runs in the perfect balance. Everyone seems incompetent this way. No hitting, no pitching. Which is just dandy. Wouldn't want any optimism seeping into the groundwater.

I've overused the word "feckless" to the point of cliché, but here's a new one: torpid. This is the most torpid series I ever hope to see the Giants play. Painfully torpid. Containing the qualities or characteristics of torp. Zito started, Moscoso relieved, and Mijares finished. That's a test pattern. That's a three-hour student presentation in which "um" is every other word. It's completely lifeless, and the feckless offense only makes it seem worse.

Your reward for sitting through that test pattern is Yusmeiro Petit tomorrow. Can Guillermo Moscoso bounce back in time to make tomorrow's scheduled long-relief appearance? Probably not. But that's why Mike Kickham is on the roster.

Do I have to write anything more about this series? Can I use my golden life preserver? I'd like to use my golden life preserver. And now they're telling me there's no such thing as a golden life preserver because my life isn't a reality show. Great, just great. Everyone should have a golden life preserver. And I'd like to use mine now. Because this series is a combination of boring and repugnant so far, and I don't like the odds of it getting better before it gets worse.

Star-divide

Juan Nicasio hit Brett Pill and Brandon Belt in the same game. Total nihilist. Say what you want about what Scott Cousins did, but at least that was an ethos.

Star-divide

If I could pick a pitcher to shut down the Giants time and time again, Nicasio would be a fine choice, I suppose. He broke his neck on the baseball field just over two years ago. It's a minor miracle he's alive, much less active and effective.

It'd be a lot cooler if the Giants could score two runs off him next time, though. Just to prove they can.

Star-divide

Hot
Pablo Sandoval's smooth defense at the hot corner. The slimmed-down third-sacker has the moves like Wallach, and he's making the plays he couldn't just a few months ago. Watch the aerodynamic Panda go!

Not
Marco Scutaro is fielding second base like a 37-year-old second baseman. Hopefully this fixes itself over the offseason.

Star-divide

The Dodgers are winning right now.

Star-divide

New tradition: When the Giants lose a boring stinker, I'm going to rummage through my computer and see if I can find some images that I've forgotten about.

Screen_shot_2013-01-22_at_1
Screen_shot_2013-03-26_at_10

Ap99032701560_medium

Huh. That doesn't help at all. But now they're your problem.

In This Article

Teams
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join McCovey Chronicles

You must be a member of McCovey Chronicles to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at McCovey Chronicles. You should read them.

Join McCovey Chronicles

You must be a member of McCovey Chronicles to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at McCovey Chronicles. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker