Um, well, the game will start soon and Purple Row will spout silliness.
Dinger will embarrass itself before dying in fire.
Coco Crisp will not play, but Tulo Trips will. The sky will be threatening, as will the right field bleacher crowd. Beer will be overpriced and watery. Love will be cheap and corndogs expensive. Time will be priceless. The worst will be filled with passionate conviction. The rest will go home in the 7th inning.