Very Important Theatre, Vol. V

It took only a couple decades, and now one of the most important moments of my childhood is available for the rest of the Internet.

Perusing through the classic videos on MLB.com has been a treat. It seems that the curator (or curators) have some specific areas of interest: the Montreal Expos, Darryl Strawberry, Barry Bonds, and brawls.

The Expos and Strawberry are interesting, but only in the general baseball sense. The Barry Bonds clips are clearly relevant to our interests, and you can waste the better part of a day over here.

However, there is something more important than even Barry Bonds hitting baseballs into McCovey Cove. It turns out the curator's brawl fetish is also relevant to our interests. In 2011, I begged for this day:

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, LOOK AT THE GRAINY PICTURE OF THE FIGHT! DOESN’T IT LOOK AWESOME? NOW PICTURE CANDY MALDONADO JUMPING INTO THE PILE ELBOW FIRST. IT WAS THE GREATEST THING THIS 10-YEAR-OLD BOY HAD EVER WATCHED. PLEASE LET ME RELIVE THIS FORMATIVE MOMENT IN MY LIFE. I WILL PAY MONEY.

Ahem. Since that all-caps moment, someone pointed out a clip of the video was available on a site that didn't give Bud Selig on-demand pedicures. So it's not like we've been completely without it. But it was grainy, incomplete, and watermarked by some dillweed who wanted us to ... what, buy his version? Not forget to subscribe to his veoh channel? What's a veoh channel? I mean, I appreciate the effort it took to upload it, but what's the point of the watermarking?

Long story short: It's here. The official version. And while it could stand to be a little longer, you get the fastball near Aldrete's head after the initial brawl in this version, in addition to Ozzie Smith tending to his bloody, sucker-punching lips. You also get Bob Brenly flinching from Smith for some strange reason. I figured Brenly would be the type to bite noses off first and ask questions later.

So this is a two-parter. First the video:


And the shocking conclusion:

Scoots_medium
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