Rockies get worse, Padres get better, Diamondbacks get boring, Dodgers get manufactured weirdness, Giants get cup of chamomile tea

Pool Photo-US PRESSWIRE

It was a wild, wild day in baseball, especially in the NL West. Every team in the division made some sort of deal. Let's run down the Giants' moves first:

  • Sent cash considerations to Amici's in exchange for pizza
  • Sent cash considerations to Amici's delivery person in exchange for peace of mind, even though he just had to walk across the street
  • Sent cash considerations to Walgreen's in exchange for large bottle of Tums

Again, wild day. Sources say that at least half of the pizza had eggplant on it, which sounds gross, but I'll bet is better than you think.

Some of the other teams in the division made moves, too. Let's take a look.

Dodgers: Nearing agreement with Brian Wilson

Verdict: Gross
Alternative verdict: Probably good for them

The reason teams shouldn't overpay relievers is because it limits what they can do with payroll in the future. We haven't seen a limit for the Dodgers yet. So, whatever, okay, spend a lot of money on a setup man, heathens. You can't deny that Wilson looked really impressive last year. As long as he isn't preventing the Dodgers from acquiring anyone else, it will be a solid move. If it happens.

Just don't think about how Santiago Casilla, Jeremy Affeldt, and Javier Lopez add up to Jacoby Ellsbury, give or take.

Rockies: Traded Dexter Fowler for Jordan Lyles and Brandon Barnes

Verdict: hahaha

Good work, Rockies. I'm sure Barnes + chemistry is better than Dexter Fowler. Because when you start with an 88-loss team, the first thing you want to do is take a step back in production.

Yankees: Signed Jacoby Ellsbury for a lot of money ($153 million, seven years)

Verdict: Good lord

Not in the division, but it just happened. Man, I'm glad the Giants weren't in that market, although Ellsbury will hit a billion homers next year.

I would easily take Pagan for $32 million over the next three rather than Ellsbury for over $121 million more for the next seven. What a bargain. Ellsbury is a full Zito over Pagan. A FULL ZITO.

Padres: Traded Luke Gregerson for Seth Smith

Verdict: Probably a net positive for them, and I'll miss the Greg Lukerson jokes. Lug Grukerson. Group Loogerson. Son Groogerlek. Man, so many permutations.

Smith is a fine platoon/fourth outfielder, and the Padres make relievers out of dandelion spores, so it's a good swap. I'm not sure how much playing time Smith will get, though, considering Will Venable and Carlos Quentin exist. Unless there's a trade a-brewin'.

Diamondbacks: Traded Heath Bell for minor leaguer Justin Choate

Verdict: Aw, man

Heath Bell is the best. He gave the Giants some of their best moments of the season, like this and this. The Diamondbacks get more money to spend in the offseason, and the Rays will magically turn Bell into Mariano Rivera. But the Giants will lose a hilarious reliever against which to hit.

Sigh.

Giants: Traded Russell Wilson for Peyton Manning (fantasy)

WHAT? This close to the playoffs??? Bold move, that's all I'll say. Bold move.

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