Free-agent profile: Curtis Granderson

Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sport

Nope.

Let me start with a disclaimer. I'm technically off today. I'm writing this at 12:30 in the morning, and I have to be on a plane in a few hours. I don't want to write about an in-depth topic. I don't want to think. I need a subject that's completely brainless.

Curtis Granderson: nope.

The Giants need dingers, I get that. You know who has two thumbs, a complete collection of Kyuss CDs, some Crocs that smell funny, and a hankerin' for dingers? This guy. But sometimes a search for dingers can lead you down some dark alleys.

Consider that Granderson ...

  • ... will be 33 before the season starts, the same age Aaron Rowand was in his last season with the Giants
  • ... played only 61 games last year because of injury
  • ... hit only .229/.317/.409, with seven homers last year
  • ... really, really benefits from Yankee Stadium
  • ... probably wasn't a complete mirage, considering he was fine the year before. But do you really want to see a left-handed power hitter in his mid-30s take on AT&T Park?
  • ... still wasn't a power hitter until Yankee Stadium. He hit homers, sure, but he had Pence-like game power. Twenty homers in a typical season, 30 if he was hot. But don't expect 40 again. Don't expect 25 at AT&T.
  • ... will probably get paid like a 40-homer player
  • ... will cost a first-round pick

There are so many nos. Someone mentioned Granderson on the Reds. Now that's a fit. Maximize that park. If you look at the distances of Granderson's homers at Yankee Stadium, it's not like they were 301-foot cheapies. Here's an overlay from HitTrackerOnline that shows where they would have landed at AT&T Park. Except that's just raw distance. There's a marine layer and wind patterns to contend with. There's no way Granderson would have had that many homers in AT&T. But homers are what they're paying for.

Real talk: I'd rather have Mike Morse, who would essentially be the rich man's Brett Pill after the rich man filed for Chapter 11 because he was an idiot with his money. Still, Morse is right-handed, and he plays positions where the two incumbents on the Giants are left-handed. I'm not for the move because I think the defense is bad enough to negate the positives, but I'd take three Morses -- one at short -- before one Granderson.

It's a shame, too. An outfield of Granderson/Pagan/Pence would be darned-near the most affable outfield in baseball. All of those guys are swell. And if the Giants decided they couldn't live without Granderson, I'd at least be excited for the first year. It's not out of the question that he's good again, or at least has a dead-cat bounce.

Logically, though, there are more realistic things to root for. Maybe the Grandy man still can. But they can have him. I can't think of a worse fit between ballpark and player in the majors. Then factor in the money, then factor in the draft pick. I might as well have written about the Giants signing Rony Seikaly.

Which is fine by me. Like Granderson the person, like Granderson the player. Don't like Granderson on the Giants, though. Everyone else just has to pick up the dinger slack.

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