Dodgers keep World Series hopes alive

I am not responsible for what you do to your computer screen. Read the user agreement you signed. - Harry How

Gross.

The question you have to ask yourself: If the Dodgers win the World Series in 2013 in a similar fashion to the 2012 Giants, are you ready to accept this? If the Dodgers come back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Cardinals, can you find inner peace, possibly by drinking the liquid in your rainglobe?

Because I'm a-feared. Pretend you were given a one-for-one deal before the 2012 playoffs. You would have taken it. That's how you have to think of it to keep your sanity. This is just Mephistopheles coming for your soul. But it's really not your soul! It's a metaphor. You get to keep your soul. So everything's looking up.

The Dodgers won on Wednesday, taking Game 5 and pushing the series to 3-2. They'll need to sweep the Cardinals in St. Louis. That sounds a lot harder before you realize that one of the games will be started by Clayton Kershaw. And it's not like Hyun-jin Ryu is Barry Zito. Though, wait, maybe if he were Zito, that would be worse for the Cardinals ... huh ...

The only thing that calms me down is this: It's the Cardinals. Man, losing two straight NLCS after going up 3-1 would be absolutely hilarious. The Dodgers could be doing this against the Pirates. They could be threatening the Pirates' World Series hopes. That would be unfathomable. At least it would be the Cardinals losing so painfully.

Aw, that's okay, Matt Holliday. There's always next year. Picture yourself thinking that. It feels good.

Then picture Yasiel Puig hitting a walk-off homer in Game 5 of the World Series that becomes a completely ubiquitous highlight for the next three decades, like Kirk Gibson or Joe Carter.

But then picture Puig running into Shane Victorino in the on-deck circle for no good reason.

This is all awful.

Is that A.J. Pierzynski on the Fox pre-game show? Good god.

Okay, now I'm hyperventilating. COMPUTER, I NEED SOMETHING TO FIX THIS.

Belt-first-home-run_medium

Okay, better. That was a fun night. The next season was fun, too. So maybe there's some pain interest to pay.

Except I think the last two years were pain interest being paid back to Giants fans. And how. So I'll stop with the mystical accounting and just note the obvious. The Cardinals need to win one out of two home games. One of them will be started by Adam Wainwright. They are absolutely capable. They are in the better position. The plane has not crashed into the mountain yet.

But don't screw this up, Cardinals. Or I'll have to start loathing your entire franchise. More so.

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