Grant's TV appearance

Jamie Squire

A shocking reveal. The key images that rip the lid off this thing. Major League Baseball is using Plebe Inspiring Pundits (PIPs) to make fans think their teams have a shot.

17,000 feet of red yarn. 34,000 push pins. 9 cork boards. 5 rooms and their walls. 2 minutes of "Intentional Talk". I spared no expense and left no mobile device unlocked in my pursuit of the truth. I connected the dots, people. What I've discovered is that Grant Brisbee, national baseball editor for SB Nation, has been hired -- or possibly conscripted -- by Major League Baseball to play the role of the positive spin guy. His sole purpose is to hype up teams with lowly, sad, pathetic fan bases to give those fans hope for the coming season, ostensibly so that they will buy season tickets and merchandise in advance of a prolonged, obvious losing streak.

What remains unclear is Mr. Brisbee's role in this charade. It's clear that he has ambition, gumption, and a voice that could melt Iron Man's suit (and arc reactor, most likely), but is he a knowing participant? Because of his intelligence I tend to think that he is knowingly playing a role for Major League Baseball. His body language, then, suggests that he is at the same time conflicted, knowing that he is living a lie. I allow for the possibility that he has somehow been brainwashed or otherwise "influenced" to play along and will update this report as I gather more information.

Yet from his positive comments about the Athletics' 2012 season and declaration that the Diamondbacks have improved heading into this season, Grant Brisbee has decided that he will be the guy plebe-inspiring pundit (PIP). He's cheating the game and he needs to answer for his crimes. I offer visual proof of his mendacity, obvious signs that he's doing a bit, one designed to make people think their team has a shot:

ITEM 1:

He's making shit up about why the A's were good last year. Multiple eye glances to the left.

Grant-1_medium

Grant-5_medium

Grant-6_medium

A clear sign that a person is lying.

ITEM 2:

Sudden anger with no discernible pretext.

Grant-3_medium

This sort of irrational outburst can usually be attributed to duress or anxiety.

ITEM 3:

Hard swallow. Could be a dry throat from nerves or from talking a lot, but most likely because of extreme guilt.

Grant-11-swallow_medium

ITEM 4:

A sinking posture. A clear sign of being extraordinarily uncomfortable. Like watching a criminal as he listens to testimony about what he did. Maybe he can't believe what he just said ("But overall, I think the starting five [the Oakland Athletics] have is pretty magnificent.") or maybe he's dreading what he has to say next in this pre-scripted farce.

Grant-2-posture_medium

But as he moved through his segments, it's clear that Grant became more comfortable with his role as a PIP.

ITEM 5:

Grant-7_medium

A glance to the right means that he was recalling a memory, not making up a lie. He had come to believe his lies about the Diamondbacks. O-or the Braves. I didn't write down in my notes which team he was talking about at this juncture. BUT IT HAPPENED.

He hadn't been caught, he was doing great, nobody suspected a thing. It was at this point that his new public persona (PIP) merged with his true self (Grantford Tiberius Brisbee) and we lost him forever.

ITEM 6:

Grant-10-laugh_medium

Laughter is believed to be a response to death.

ITEM 7:

He was no longer uncomfortable. He was polite, proper, accustomed to his role.

Grant-8_medium

And it made him feel powerful.

Grant-9_medium

But *why* would Major League Baseball do this? Why would they need someone to hype the A's and the Diamondbacks and the Braves? Why would they pick America's foremost authority on the San Francisco Giants to do it? Oh, he's the national baseball editor so he's made it his job to know as much as possible about all the teams? CONVENIENT STORY, BRO.

How about -- how about Gibby and Lew Wolff and-and Liberty Media are working together, in concert, to take down the Giants, and "turning" Grant was their shot across the bow at the Giants' ownership group? What if MLB's use of PIPs is a new way for the league to control the owners -- who control the players, who control the fans? It's a paradox, people, and that can only mean it was planned and it is dangerous.

The next time you favorite, retweet, or recommend one of Mr. Brisbee's comments or posts, just know that you are feeding The Beast and contributing to your own subservience.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join McCovey Chronicles

You must be a member of McCovey Chronicles to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at McCovey Chronicles. You should read them.

Join McCovey Chronicles

You must be a member of McCovey Chronicles to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at McCovey Chronicles. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker