This morning you woke up, unaware that Randy Messenger was doing well as a starting pitcher for the Hanshin Tigers. I've fixed that. This is also an attempt at misdirection, as I urge you not to look into how John Bowker's doing over there. Dang it. I thought he was going to tear that league up and get a nickname, or something. Caveats for both stats: The entire NPB is going through a low-offense era right now. Every team is like the 2008 Giants hitting in Petco Park.