Saying Goodbye to Brandon Belt

A study of Brandon Belt's performance vs. perception

Month:
April, 2011

Composite description of everything I wrote about Brandon Belt
:
He's the best, guys. I can't wait for him to win Rookie of the Year

Brandon Belt's performance
:
Awful

Star-divide

Month:
July, 2011

Composite description of everything I wrote about Brandon Belt
:
Hold on, there. Maybe I was too hasty. Think I might want to wait before anointing him ready to hit in the middle of the order.

Brandon Belt's performance
:
Fantastic

Star-divide

Month:
August, 2011

Composite description of everything I wrote about Brandon Belt:
See? I told you he was good. Never a doubt in my mind.

Brandon Belt's performance
:
Awful

Star-divide

Month:
September, 2011

Composite description of everything I wrote about Brandon Belt:
Er, wait. Hold on. I mean, he's, you know. Still a work in progress. I never said he was going to be an All-Star! I mean, I didn't guarantee it! Don't pin me into a corner! He could still be bad!

Brandon Belt's performance:
Better, especially toward the end

Star-divide

Month(s):
April and May , 2012

Composite description of everything I wrote about Brandon Belt
:
He'll be fine once the Giants start giving him regular at-bats. Leave him alone. He'll be fine. Stop screwing with his swing. Krusty is coming. Krusty is coming. Belt will be fine. Belt will be fine.

Brandon Belt's performance
:
Like the end of Requiem For A Dream, but without all the laughs

Star-divide

Month: June, 2012

Composite description of everything I wrote about Brandon Belt:
Look, he's getting to the point now where he's almost had as many major-league at-bats as minor-league at-bats. Maybe the minor-league seasons were the quirk.

Brandon Belt's performance:
Like Will Clark flying Airwolf into Orel Hershisher's bedroom

Star-divide

Conclusion

Every time I get down on Brandon Belt, he does better. Every time I'm ready to fight for him and proclaim that he'll make the lineup better, he goes NEIFCON 1. So I'm through talking about Brandon Belt. I'm stupid, and he points this out like no other baseball player who has ever lived.

I'd love to pretend that this dynamic is sustainable, and that if I were to bash Belt as if a PR firm paid me to do it, he'd continue his success. Alas, the world doesn't work like that. If you believe in superstition and such, you know you can't game the baseball gods. If you don't believe in superstition, it's obvious that the words of a dork like me have no effect on Belt's performance, so why be intellectually dishonest?

The only way around this is to stop talking about Brandon Belt. He will now be referred to in vague terms around here from now on. Example:

  • That guy with the uniform
  • Ol' Hatface
  • Gangles St. Tall
  • That guy
  • Him

And I will never analyze his performance again. His swing is like a transmission to me. I don't even know if a transmission is in the front of the car or the bottom, which is why I don't talk about it. Why would I? It would just expose my ignorance. So it goes with Belt's swing. And his stats. And his trends. His ups, his downs. They are a Zen koan, and here I am, trying to poke it with a slide rule. I'm done.

...

...

...

So you guys are all in agreement that Brandon Belt is good now, right?

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