13. Hunter Pence might not be any better than we've seen, but still very expensive.
12. Madison Bumgartner and his arm slot lose communication with each other and the groove cannot be reinstated.
11. Parks and Recreations is dead and won't be resurrected.
10. Giant Pain might be right.
9. Timmy can't even pitch decent middle innings.
8. Brian Wilson comes back (at 2/3 MM for one year) and becomes a pain in our collectives ass when he is not used often enough or correctly, in his opinion.
7. The baggage collection system they got at SFO.
6. 13/13 and Merope will never find jobs.
5. Hactor will regress so badly that Buster must catch 135 games, or someone lesser than Woodside will have to be obtained to fill in.
4. The fifth infielder will be named Burris.
3. Then the fourth infielder will be named Burris.
2. Pablo reports at 288 lbs and quickly pulls one part of his body away from another.
1. Gallo del Cielo will fail to recover his ability to do his job, a job he loves that also includes much time alone, at home, and that renders too much time to think.