Reminder: The Dodgers are about to be freaky rich

Kirby Lee-US PRESSWIRE

Good morning. Did you have a good holiday? Was the turkey moist, the stuffing crunchy or tender depending on what you prefer, and the gravy thick? If you're from back east, did you enjoy the boiled squash, jellied framptonberries, and whatever in the hell it is you freaks eat back there? Good, good. Because this is your reminder that the Dodgers control the spice and the means of production. From the Los Angeles Times:

The Dodgers’ deal, proposed for 25 years, would average $240 million per year at $6 billion, or $280 million per year at $7 billion.

When the Giants signed Barry Bonds to a six-year, $43.75-million contract 20 years ago, that was considered big money. Now a lot of us are hoping Angel Pagan signs something for half the length and 80 percent of the money. It's possible that in a couple of decades, the $240-million windfall every season won't seem so impressive for the Dodgers .

But for now ... yeah.

A rich team looks at an outfield of Carl Crawford, Matt Kemp, and Andre Ethier -- making a combined $53 million -- and says, yep, I suppose we're set in the outfield. A hey-screw-you-we're-rich team can look at that outfield and wonder if there's a way to make it better. If they have to trade Ethier to make room, or if they have to bench Crawford, or if they have to switch from raccoon to pigeon in the Dodger Dogs to pretend to save costs for that one jittery investor ... who cares? Take a stack of money home to the wife. Go on. Take a stack of money.

The Dodgers are hey-screw-you-we're-rich. Or, at least, they will be. So even though the Dodgers have six starting pitchers under contract next year, there's probably a good chance they end up with Zack Greinke, too. This is your reminder.

Other than that, I hope your Thanksgiving was good.

And if you're wondering when the Giants will get one of these paydays, well, they own 30 percent of Comcast SportsNet Bay Area. So if there's a financially astute reason for these networks to make these deals -- as in, there are profits to be had -- the Giants will do well for themselves. If this is all a bubble, and in nine years every single network involved in these mega-deals regrets them, that probably means the profits aren't as high as the networks expected.

Not that the Giants will ever be a hey-screw-you-we're-rich team. The Dodgers are, though. That's the main point. Oooga boooga! Get scared! Oooga boooooooga! All we can hope for is that it goes to the Darren Dreiforts of the baseball world.

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