The day the playoffs died

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that Series used to make me smile.
And I knew if Bochy had his chance
That I could make those veterans dance
And we’d probably be crappy for a while

But August came, it made me shiver
With every fly out, every squibber
Cabrera played at shortstop;
I couldn’t make the pain stop.

I can’t remember if I cried
When the standings were no longer tied,
But the Giants hurt me deep inside
The day the playoffs died

So bye-bye, world series try.
Drove my mazda to the plaza,
But the losses made me cry.
And the radio guys must have been high
Singin’, "What about this Brett Pill guy?
“What about this Brett Pill guy?”

Did you build the giant glove,
And do you have faith in the Sabes above,
If the owners tell you so?
Do you believe in walks and hits,
Do the Giants drive you to your wits?,
And can you teach me how to live in the pits?

Well, I know that you love yourself some Sabes
`cause I heard you love on Wilson’s saves
You both said “fear the beard”
But I cried those playoff tears,

I was a basement-dwelling SABR nerd
With an open spreadsheet and my vision blurred,
But I knew fangraphs word for word
The day the playoffs died.

I started singin’,
bye-bye, world series try.
Drove my mazda to the plaza,
But the losses made me cry.
And the radio guys must have been high
Singin’, "Let’s give Manny Burriss a try!"
" Let’s give Manny Burriss a try!"

Now for one year we’ve been hoping to win
On this team, our dreams we pin,
But that’s not how it used to be.

When Schmidty pitched for Dusty B,
With a heater and a change that were sights to see
And a grin that came from under his goatee,

Oh, and while Barry B was leaving town,
Zito stole a golden crown.
We knew he was overpaid;
Macgowan had the decision made!

And while Timmy learned how to pitch,
They drafted well, and had a niche
And there was only just one hitch
The day the playoffs died

We were singing,
bye-bye, world series try.
Drove my mazda to the plaza,
But the losses made me cry.
And the radio guys must have been high
Singin’, "What about this Darren Ford guy?
“What about this Darren Ford guy guy?”

Helter skelter in the summer weather.
The wheels fell off all together,
Seven games back and falling fast.
Landed, felt like we were in last..
The players tried but were out of gas ,
With Bochy, in the dugout, playing Cabs…

Now the all star break was sweet perfume
We thought Beltran would be a boon.
We all got up our hopes,
Oh, but we really couldn’t cope!
`cause the players tried to hit the ball;
The pitchers pitched well, one and all.
Do you recall what caused the fall
The day the playoffs died?

We started singing,
bye-bye, world series try.
Drove my mazda to the plaza,
But the losses made me cry.
And the radio guys must have been high
Singin’, "How selfish is this Beltran guy?
“How selfish is this Beltran guy?”

Oh, and there we were all in second place,
A whole year gone without a trace
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Sabes be savvy, Sabes be smart!
Sabes signs veterans to play a part
Cause gritty is the GM’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him trade away
My fingers typed an angry way.
No nerd on a blog
Could convince him Cabrera’s a dog

And as the season slinked off into the night
As nothing else seemed to go right,
I saw Gibson laughing with delight
The day the playoffs died

He was singing,
bye-bye, world series try.
Drove my mazda to the plaza,
But the losses made me cry.
And the radio guys must have been high
Singin’, "Let’s give Cain for Fielder another try!"
" Let’s give Cain for Fielder another try!"

I met a guy who wrote a blog
And I asked him if he liked the fog ,
But he just propellored and walked away.

I went down to the park at night
Where the playoff lights had burned so bright,
But the man there said the Giants wouldn’t play.

And in the office, Sabes he schemed,
The fans cried, and Boras dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The veterans all were broken.

And the players I despise the most:
Miguel Tejada and Rowand’s ghost
They caught the last flight off the coast
The day the playoffs died.

And they were singing,
bye-bye, world series try.
Drove my mazda to the plaza,
But the losses made me cry.
And the radio guys must have been high
Singin’, "Sign Pujols, for he is the guy!"
“Sign Pujols, for he is the guy!”

They were singing,
bye-bye, world series try.
Drove my mazda to the plaza,
But the losses made me cry.
And the radio guys must have been high
Singin’, "Mathis would be an interesting sign."
“Mathis would be an interesting sign.”