Well, that was fun.
This is not the most unwatchable Giants team in recent memory. This team, see, wins. Sometimes. More often than not. I'm not sure how. Well, I know how -- the pitchers usually don't allow runs -- but that seems like a technical explanation that's over my head. You can explain how lasers work until you're hoarse, but I'll still never know how they work. Same with with the 2011 team winning, but it happens.
No, a team that wins can't be the must unwatchable team. This pitching is too good. Matt Cain is a treasure, and the bullpen is generally fantastic. But there's a level of frustration added by the good pitching. You expected the 2008 Giants to lose when Lincecum didn't pitch. Cain was good, but he was also cursed back then. Couldn't buy a win. Good thing that stopped.
But is this the most unwatchable lineup in recent memory? Let's look at the lineups on June 30 for 2008 and 2011 and compare:
Fred Lewis vs. Andres Torres
I was never a big Lewis fan -- he's the very definition of fourth/fifth outfielder -- but he has a .361 OBP right now, and a .349 OBP for his career. Torres hasn't reached base since November of last year.
Jose Castillo vs. Manny Burriss (2011)
Castillo is a career .254/.296/.379 hitter. Burriss is at .259/.317/.292, but that includes a fluky .357 OBP as a rookie. Considering the difference in power and weighting the recent performances a little more ...
Randy Winn vs. Pablo Sandoval
Winn was fantastic that year, putting up a .363 OBP. Pablo hasn't quite been as good since coming back from his hand injury, but this is a comparison of who I would want to watch right now.
Bengie Molina vs. Pat Burrell
Molina had better be the worst cleanup hitter I see in my lifetime.
Aaron Rowand vs. Nate Schierholtz
Now, this is 2008 Rowand, remember. He was just overpaid, not a shell of his former self. Frustrating, but worthwhile. He had an .822 OPS on June 30, 2008.
Rich Aurilia vs. Brandon Crawford
Remember, this 2008 Aurilia, who finished with a .283/.332/.413 line. Crawford probably won't ever have a season that good in his career (though I'd love to be wrong).
Travis Denker vs. Miguel Tejada
Remember when I thought Denker was going to be a big-league hitter? That was because I'm a moron. Miguel Tejada might be historically bad, but there's no way that Denker could be better than anyone in the majors right now. Even Tejada, though it's close. Denker he does have a .938 OPS between A-ball and AA this year!
Manny Burriss (2008) vs. Eli Whiteside
Oh, man. This is like a Zen koan. If suck sucks in a forest of suck, does it suck more than the sound of one suck sucking? Please, ponder this. But, again, this is the 2008 Burriss, who walked as much as he struck out while putting up a sweet .357 OBP. No contest. Whiteside couldn't get to a .357 OBP if he were 3'2" and facing Jonathan Sanchez six times a game.
Now, which team would I rather watch? Considering that the pitchers for the Giants on June 30, 2008 were Zito (5.99 ERA after that game!), Keiichi Yabu, Billy Sadler, and Alex Hinshaw, there's no doubt that I'd rather watch the 2011 team. I'm not that crazy. But what about the lineups? Tough call, but the numbers have it. I'd rather watch the 2008 Giants hit.
The 2008 Giants, who scored 640 runs.
The 2008 Giants, who are, in my mind at least, the worst offensive team I've ever seriously followed.
The 2008 Giants, who had Jose Castillo hitting second.
Yeah, I think I'd rather watch that team hit right now.
One more important note: the game in question was also against the Cubs, and the Giants scored two runs. Two sweet, precious runs. It took the Giants 13 innings to get two runs today, and that was four innings too many.
Most annoying game of the year from the most unwatchable group of hitters every collected.