Cubs/Giants Preview Post-game thread

This picture is one photoshopped nose away from being the cover of Mario Sports.

Something about the Cubs. Aren't doubleheaders weird? I'LL BET THE GIANTS MAKE DOUG DAVIS LOOK LIKE STEVE CARLTON, YUK YUK HAR.

Hitter to watch

Ryan Vogelsong. You can't rely on other people, son. That's not what a team is for.

Pitcher to watch

I BET THE GIANTS MAKE RODRIGO LOPEZ LOOK LIKE JOSH BECKETT, HAR HAR YUK.

Prediction:

After three games, I'll be sick of the Cubs. There are probably Geneva Convention things that apply to the fourth game.

 

Great. Another stirring series preview is in the books, and now we can talk about Barry Zito. Back when Zito got hurt, the only reasonable way to look at the Zito/Vogelsong switch was that the Giants were replacing a league-average pitcher with a pitcher who was likely to be terrible. This was based on "history" and "statistics." Of course, there were people who got it right:

Look, I know that Zito has been an average starting pitcher for a couple of years now, and Vogelsong was a league-average pitcher in Japan, which isn't really the same thing as the majors. And sure, Vogelsong walked 5.9 hitters per nine innings last year in AAA, which is the sort of thing that could get Jonathan Sanchez put on the DL with a phantom injury, but I really think that Vogelsong is the better option. The Giants just improved.

I remember reading that other guy's post as if it were yesterday.

But a comet passed overhead in the spring sky, its tail glittering with cosmic debris and glittery Jason Schmidt stardust, and now Vogelsong is good. And somehow, someway, Jonathan Sanchez devolved into what we figured Vogelsong would be. So the Giants are right where we thought they would be: hoping that Zito can be average enough to replace a guy who was quite lousy, and being grateful that they have a fallback option in the first place.

Zito will be a Giant forever. The universe has deemed it so. It's not good, not bad, it just is. Well, it's kind of bad. Mostly bad. Because of the money. But that cash was flushed a long time ago. He is what he is, and while that seems like a typo or a tautology, but it's actually my way of writing that "Zito's level of performance is unlikely to deviate much from what we have expected in the past." By writing "he is what he is," I totally saved a bunch of words, which I then spit out to explain how I saved them. But you'll know what it means the next time I use the phrase, which should be soon, because I totally coined it.

Now I'm embracing the return of a guy who shouldn't mess the bed, except for those times he does, which is often, certainly more often than the Giants would like, but not as much as the haters seem to think. Welcome back, Barry. Jonathan kept the bed warm for you. But, uh, the warmth shouldn't keep. It'll just be cold and damp soon. Try not to do the same thing.

Also, the Giants will win the first game by a ton of runs. It's just what they do.

What? It's not like you'd read two post-game threads in on day anyways.

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