FanPost

Miguel Tejada Found Hiding in Nursing Home

San Francisco (AP) - Nearly 12 hours after committing another error which lead to two-out rally by the Washington Nationals and a loss for the San Francisco Giants, Giants third baseman Miguel Tejada was found holed up in a nursing home, leading to a standoff with Giants officials.  After several hours of testy negotiation, Tejada was finally lured out with several bags of prunes and a coupon for the Early Bird Special at the local Denny's.

An orderly working at the nursing home denied reports that they had purposefully hid Tejada to shield him from the criticism of local fans.

"Sure, I let him inside, but he looked like he fit in with the rest of the folks who live here.  At one point, he even asked me if I remembered when Grover Cleveland was elected president, and then started rambling about the price of bread.  I didn't know that he could play baseball."

Giants officials were first alerted to Tejada's absence when he did not show up for the bridge club he attended daily.  Tejada was a staple, often explaining specific rules to younger players and reminiscing about his glory days.  Sometimes he would shuffle from table to table, giving out advice while toying with his hearing aid.

"I learned a lot from Miguel," said rookie Brandon Belt.  "He taught me about trumps, passing turns... he basically knew everything there was to know about the game."

After searching aimlessly for several hours, a Giants ball boy finally found Tejada at the nursing home, alerted by the smell of pine tar and decaying flesh.  Even then, however, Giants manager Bruce Bochy was still doubtful.

"I didn't really think that he was hiding in the nursing home.  I thought that it was just a look-alike, until he started swinging that bat trying to keep us away.  Nobody else in the world swings a baseball bat like that.  That's when I knew it was Miguel."

Giants GM Brian Sabean addressed reporters after promising the police that Tejada would not wander off again.

"Once again, I would like to tell Giants fans not to worry.  Remember, last year Edgar Renteria often got lost in the airport, but we still managed to keep track of him.  And the only reason we signed Pat Burrell was because we found him wandering around the supermarket, asking where they sold the pocket watch chains."

" By the way, are you sure some of the residents in the nursing home aren't veterans?  I could use some of those."

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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