Opening weekend for the Cats at Sacramento's beautiful and talented Raley Field. I, Gallo del Cielo, doesn't think he can make it, but he has free tickets for any stray animals in the greater Sacramento area to see the RiverCats play those pesky Toronto Cascades on Friday eve, a day that might be chilly and wet but full of spirit, which will make little difference, for the tickets are actually free. Can you identify the moment you lost faith in that sentence?
It was after you read the word "free." You began to drool and reach like Rowand for a slider. You didn't understand that you would still have to get yourself to the park, sit in the chilly night, and buy food/drink. You heard "free" and "really good seat," and you thought, "Hey, yeah."
By "Cascades" I meant "Laniers." By "Toronto" I meant "Tacoma." According to the Internet, the Laniers are the defending PCL champions. I thought that was actually the Cats. Maybe that was several years ago. In any case, their website claims that the Laniers field fairly well and might be awarded a run or two by the judges for sheer dampness. How could you not want to be present? Tacoma has some of the best raw talent in the meat locker. The Cats claw their ways into that very same meat locker. Blood covers this metaphor.
You could be present for the slaughter. You must just hold your nose and contact Gallo del Cielo. This is best done by sending him one of those hi-tech e-mails thingies at the address on his profile page. Keystrokes leading to the exchange of information will ensue. I like saying "ensue." I also like saying "usurp." My ideal sentence that doesn't involve Coco Crisp would be "Usurpation ensued."
I blame Grant.