McCovey Canticles

by Merope on Dec 18, 2011 10:50 AM PST

I was going to do this way earlier... but then, I was thinking "Why bother? There's almost nobody here this time of year" so I decided not to, but then the whole Simon and Garfunkel thing in the Volquez trade post got me thinking maybe I should go ahead and do it....

If there is one thing this place excels at [besides bitching about the Giants] it's song parodies. So, put those creative talents to use reworking a holiday tune, or two.

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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Line-up, line-up, line-up
Who should play today?
Line-up, line-up, line-up
Gritty veterans all the way!!

Bochy, Bochy, Bochy
Why do you play the vets?
Bochy, Bochy, Bochy
As pathetic as it gets!

Adopted Giant: Eddie I Have It Grant.

TSFGWTWS DESPITE Botchy, not BECAUSE of him.

by Merope on Dec 18, 2011 10:53 AM PST reply actions

At home plate stands a Giant
Really a hacker by his trade
And his OBP carries the reminder
Of his desire to swing at outside sliders
Or even hack at wild pitches
Making us angry and ashamed
“I’m switching to the Warriors, I’m switching to the 49ers”
But back we tune in again

by non sequitur on Dec 18, 2011 11:05 AM PST reply actions

…But the hacker still remains

"There ain’t much to being a ballplayer, if you’re a ballplayer." - Honus Wagner

by Fla-Giant on Dec 18, 2011 11:35 AM PST up reply actions

Deck the halls World Series merchandise,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
At 80% off retail purchase price
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Panda hats, and Timmy hair by the barrel,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing torches before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Yell “fire the Brass” and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Whilst I cry over Rainy Day treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Adopted Giant: Eddie I Have It Grant.

TSFGWTWS DESPITE Botchy, not BECAUSE of him.

by Merope on Dec 18, 2011 12:14 PM PST reply actions

sabean is from nantucket, isn't he?

There once was a team filled with internal praise
which was viewed by fans with levels of malaise
stockpiling money in a bag,
selling hats and other swag,
this mountain of cash is saved for rainy days

by Brannigan's Law on Dec 18, 2011 10:44 PM PST reply actions

Joy to the World

Joy to the world
The Giants reign
Let Bud give them their rings

Let every fan prepare to pay
While Baer saves the dough
’Cause Neukom had to go
And partners, investors, and scalpers sing.

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of Cabrera.

by Lyle on Dec 19, 2011 5:17 AM PST reply actions

Bring your bats, Aubrey and Melky,
Bring your bats, hit crisply and run,
The pitching is here, tell the owners and savers,
Geniuses working on the hill:
Ah! ah! Beautiful is the Cainer!
Ah! ah! Beautiful Timmy Jim!

It is wrong when Bumgarner’s throwing
It is wrong to hack at slop
Patience all as you take your stances
Lest your flailing snuff our chances
Oh! Oh! See the offense slumber
Oh! Oh! Ball in play. Out(s).

Hasten now, good folk of the owners
Hasten now, an offense to field
You can find it in talks with the agents
Inquiringly come and whisper softly
Say, say, three years and thirty,
Say, say, gratefully now he signs.

Proudly to the little ballpark
Proudly for a season come
Look and see how charming is Beltran
How he can hit, his bat is mighty!
Lo! Lo! See how I am deluded
Lo! Lo! See how I grimace in my dreams.

by 2X2L on Dec 19, 2011 8:28 AM PST reply actions

This isn't really a holiday tune, but this is my shot at it.

I see you spending money like you’ve got no clue.
And I’m like, “Fuck you!”
Use the change in your pocket for a slugger or two,
But you said “Fuck you, and fuck them too!”

You said if you were richer, we’d have hitters.
Ain’t that some shit? (Ain’t that some shit?!)
Although there’s money in the chest,
You won’t sign the best
And I’m like, “Fuck youuuuuu!”

Now I’m sorry
But you can afford a Ferrari
So why can’t you get us there?
We had Barry
And we have Timmy
But our fingers are basically bare. (Save one)

I pity the fooooooool
That has some faith in you.
(You’ve gotta sign a bat
Just gotta tell you that)
I’ve got some news for you.
Go run and tell Larry Baer.

I see you spending money like you’ve got no clue.
And I’m like, “Fuck you!”
Use the change in your pocket for a slugger or two,
But you said “Fuck you, and fuck them too!”

Now I know,
That you look for contact, power, glove, and speed.
Trying to find ‘em.
Trying to keep ’em.
But keeping Timmy and Cain ain’t cheap.

I pity the foooooooooool.
That has some faith in you.
(You’ve gotta sign a bat
Just gotta tell you that)
I’ve got some news for you
Go run and tell Larry Baer.

I see you spending money like you’ve got no clue.
And I’m like, “Fuck you!”
Use the change in your pocket for a slugger or two,
But you said “Fuck you, and fuck them too!”

Now baby, baby, baby
Why you want Affeldt so bad? So bad? So bad? So bad?
I tried ask for Reyes but you said his knees are so bad, so bad, so bad, so bad….

And I was like, oooh why? ooh why? ooooooooh whyyyy? BABY!!!
I need him, you still need him!!

I see you spending money like you’ve got no clue.
And I’m like, “Fuck you!”
Use the change in your pocket for a slugger or two,
But you said “Fuck you, and fuck them too!”

My adopted Giant, the young Reinier Roibal

by garbanzo24 on Dec 19, 2011 3:07 PM PST reply actions 8 recs

OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.

NOT ENOUGH REC’S CAN EXPRESS THIS.

Ross on Halladay: "I’d tried everything against him…going the other way, taking pitches, trying to walk…and nothing worked. I’d never tried going up there and just trying to hit a home run off him."
My boy has mad hops
I rant on Twitter

by scout6 on Dec 19, 2011 8:41 PM PST up reply actions