To commemorate Sabes' new extension, I'd like to provide you all with my version of Mr. Sabean's career lowlights with the Gyros. There really isn't one correct version of this lineup of duds, but there are a few than are pretty tough to argue. Since Sabean has done a pretty good job of stocking the organization with solid pitching talent, I'll just focus on his offensive shortcomings.
C - AJ Pierzynski: The infamous yard-sale where we gift-wrapped Francisco Liriano, Boof Bonser and some crummy reliever named Joe Nathan has become somewhat of a mythical mishap among the Giants faithful in recent years, but the actuality of the events that transpired from acquiring AJ are indeed even worse than the lost pieces indicate. Along with being a cancer in the clubhouse, and one of the most unlikable players from a fan standpoint in recent memory, he is also the only player during Sabean's reign who was capable of grounding in to more double plays than Aaron Rowand (27 total in 2004). And to make matters worse, it took him less than a year after jumping ship from San Fran to win a ring with the White Sox in 2005. Tough guy to root for, easy guy to root against.
1B - Ryan Klesko: Sadly a very typical Sabe signing; an established veteran who is 5-6 years past their prime, signing for 2-3 times what they were worth 3-4 years earlier. The grizzled veteran who brought some "pop" to a pathetic 2007 Giants lineup managed to bang 6 dingers in 411 at-bats.
2B - Mark DeRosa: Again, an established veteran who's numbers had been declining in the years prior to signing with the Giants, but received a contract that ended up paying him $285,714.27 for each of the 42 base hits he collected in San Francisco.
SS - Miguel Tejada: We signed a crusty veteran for big dollars just two years earlier, and the guy ended up helping the organization win its first championship in San Francisco. Since this formula worked once, it's obvious that it has a 100% likelihood of occurring again with an even more sub-par player in Miguel Tejada right? Well... the dude's HR total and batting average had been steadily declining since 2004 and he hadn't hit more than 20 big-flys since 2006. His post-steroid resume leads many of us wondering what kind of mediocre career numbers Miggy would have posted without the extra help. But most of all, any of us who watched Miggy play with the Padres during their outstandingly memorable collapse of 2010 saw that he had nothing left in the tank, but because he was half a decade past being relevant, it makes perfect sense why Sabean would sign the guy.
3B - Edgardo Alfonzo: In case you haven't noticed already, there is a formula that Mr. Sabean employs every time he decides on whether or not to sign a free agent. For Edgardo Alfonzo, he hit home runs it both of Sabe's free-agent criteria, he was a few years past the prime of his career and he had extremely limited upside. PERFECT! Alfonzo wasn't a completely horrible player, actually, he would have been an offensive star on the 2009 and 2011 teams, but for a squad that was trying to defend its National League Pennant and capitalize on the last few years of Bonds' brilliance, Edgardo was a weak option who provided no pop from the hot corner.
OF - Aaron Rowand: There are 60 million reasons why Aaron Rowand makes this list. Aside from no longer being a member of the organization and still having millions and millions of dollars owed to him, Rowand never earned the respect from Giants fans that he seemed to so easily get in Chicago and Philadelphia. Maybe we're just a little too picky here in the Bay Area, but I speak not only for myself when I say that it's hard to root for a guy who looks like he's dropping a deuce in the batter's box. But instead of using that obscure stance to throw off pitchers and become an offensive factor for the Giants, he instead dropped double-play dookies into the middle of Giants rallies for the better part of 4 seasons.
OF - Dave Roberts: $21 million for a base that he stole three years before the Giants even signed him. Thankfully for Dave, the Zito and Rowand signings overshadowed his horrific contract and lackluster play. The 2006/2007 offseason was a rough one for the Sabemiester.
OF - Jose Guillen: Still trying to figure out why Sabean and the Giants ever signed him in the first place. A crummy, over-the-hill 5th outfielder, wait, I know exactly why Sabean signed him...