I Blame Grant

Back in days of yore, when the Giants routinely played baseball in October (and not because of scheduling quirks or World Baseballs Classic), references were routinely made to the "Baseball Gods" and how critical it was for us fans not to piss them off. The Gods demanded that we never assume any game is won, no matter how much we lead by; that we never look ahead to future matchups until the current game is complete; and most of all, that we never divert our full attention from the contest at hand. (We all know how Dodger fans, being godless cretins, blithely ignore this rule like few others.) Though most Giants fans note that it was Dusty Baker's decision to hand Russ Ortiz the game ball that led the Gods to flatten Angel Stadium with a meteor, many of those who got too comfortable with the Giants' 5-0 lead and didn't stay focused on the game still blame themselves for the asteroid's descent. And they aren't wrong.

Which brings me to today, and the travesty we all just witnessed. In his series preview 3 days ago, Grant wrote the following:

 

I’M FREAKING TIRED OF WATCHING THE GIANTS PLAY THE PADRES.

The Padres? Meh. Pure, unadulterated, brown and navy blue meh. The park? Meh. The roster? Meh. And I’m not talking about quality, either. It’s just hard to form an opinion on a bland, functional masterpiece of bland functionality like Petco Park. It’s not hideous, it’s not magnificent, it’s just zdzzzzzzz.

I’ll watch. But only because "Antique Roadshow" reruns aren’t out on DVD yet with director’s commentary.

There's no question the Padres are the Law & Order/Final Fantasy XIII/James Taylor of baseball teams. Whether they're good or awful, whether we win or lose, games against them (excepting no-hitters) are invariably tedious, uninspired affairs. Assholes who say things like "baseball is boring, why would you want to watch a bunch of fat guys run 90 feet and then stand around for ten minutes?" tend to base their retarded opinions on the one baseball game they've ever seen in person, which invariably involves the San Diego Padres. They are the sporting equivalent of Michael Dukakis. Grant's sentiment here was not wrong in the least.

BUT!

The Padres are good this year. Probably not this good, but unlike say the Nationals or Reds, their winning record is backed up by a positive run differential and normalish BABIPs that don't suggest massive regression from lots of their people (Jon Garland excepted). So it's important that the Giants win as many of these soul-draining matchups as they possibly can.

And why does Grant speaking the truth about how watching the Padres is like watching a man's hairline recede in real-time pose a problem? Because in the past few years - since the last time the Giants and their fans were collectively slapped down by the Baseball Gods - this dinky, only about 15% serious website has become the chief place for intelligent* Giants fans to congregate, debate the merits of UZR and optimal lineup construction, and trade recipes/cat pictures/cat recipes. McCovey Chronicles, in other words, is now the grand altar of Giants fandom - which makes Grant the high priest. Whether he likes it or not, whether he knows it or not, his words will be heard and his sentiments divined. And when those words describe the upcoming three games as boring, tedious affairs which merit half-hearted, dispassionate attention at best... well, that's what the Gods will provide. The three most boring, tedious games the Giants have played since the Joel Youngblood era.

Thanks, Grant!

Look, it's a long season. Not every game is interesting or exciting. Baseball is worth loving precisely because valleys like this one make the peaks seem that much higher. But for Mays' sake, Grant, don't ever let them hear you say anything like that again. Make a few Nate Colbert jokes or something, I don't care. But I don't think any of us can take another series like this one.

*kinda, anyway.