what makes you think the giants are done with the roster?

i mean, it's possible that the giants could go into the season with this roster and figure that they'd remake it in the last couple of months anyway... that would be one way to go... but they still don't really have a shortstop... tejada, at this stage in his career is a third baseman... hell, if THIS is all the giants were going to do, they'd have been better off paying omar vizquel 1.5 mil to be their shortstop and have money to sign an acceptable backup (i'm still hoping renteria comes back)...


but tejada for uribe - that's a HUGE downgrade... and are you REALLY going to expect both huff and burrell to have the same kind of season next year?... hell, if ONE of them duplicated, you'd be happy...


i guess you could think, "we'll get more out of posey", but i don't think so... not that i think he'll fall victim to "the sophomore jinx" (but it does exist - hello pablo), but you can't possibly risk playing posey as much or he'll be the next russell martin...


so, if this is it, you have to be counting on a sandoval rebound... and you have to believe that cody ross can do what he did for a month for a whole season... and that torres' year was not a fluke, but something he'll do again (caution - on the day of his appendicitis attack, his average dipped below .270)...


no... the giants simply CANNOT be done shaping this roster...

mostly because they are unbalanced - i mean you really do NOT need sandoval, tejada AND derosa (still, it would be interesting to see huff at first, sandoval at third and derosa in left one day and sandoval at first derosa at third and huff in left the next day)...


i'm thinking that they are working on a major trade, possibly for hanley ramirez, with sandoval as what the giants hope will be the key piece of the bait... either that or they have to try to unload derosa (and whatever they have to give) for a real shortstop...


they just cannot go into the season with tejada at short and fontenot as his backup... as to rohlinger or whoever exists in the giants system, if they really believed in them, they would not have signed tejada... end of that story...


anyway, over on frontburner, the leadoff story is on lebron james, who got booed in introductions, but then ilgauskas got cheered... and "the king" is getting booed every time he touches the ball, but miami is looking like they are on the way to a blowout... he who laughs last, i guess...


but the next two frontburner stories are on uribe and tejada... a lot of people complain that my writing is "tl; dr", so i will link to frontburner... then i will cut/paste on uribe/tejada, but you don't have to read any further... just comment on whether or not you believe that the giants can POSSIBLY go into the season with this lineup or not... i say "not" - at least, not if you want to repeat...



In a discovery that the Los Angeles Dodgers claim the San Francisco Giants were well aware of, former Giants infielder Juan Uribe has been determined to be 37 years old, rather than the 31 years he claims.

"Oh yeah, the Giants knew that - it's why they wouldn't offer him a third year on a proposed free agent contract", explained Dodgers General Manager Ned Colletti.

League rules require that a team reveal any pertinent information about a player who has been under contract to them to any team making such inquiries. If a formal complaint is lodged, the Commissioner of Baseball would use a midwestern law firm to investigate. If the accused team were found to be in violation of the rule, they would be subject to public censure as well assuming the expenses, said to run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars, of the investigation. If the Giants are found to be in violation, they could appeal to their fellow club representatives for a lesser penalty, which likely would come in the form of a reprimand.

"We had no knowledge that Mr. Uribe was using a cousin's birth certificate in order to claim he was younger than what he was. We simply took his word for it and if we were deceived, we would think that a reprimand would be the severest penalty that could be assessed", said Giants General Manager Brian Sabean in a press release.

The Dodgers reportedly interviewed former Giants pitcher Shawn Estes, under the guise of considering him as a free agent addition for 2011.

Reached at his Black Rock City home by Frontburner, Estes vented, "I was contacted by the Dodgers and I'm not too happy about the way this went down. When I got their call I immediately began conditioning drills, believing that they were interested in my arm. Turns out the only thing they cared about was my memories."

In his interview in Los Angeles, Estes was suprised to be asked a question about an appearance he made with his Nevada youth team in the Little League World Series.

"This was around the time when they were catching players using phony birth certificates and after our game with the Dominican Republic, we were all talking about the subject", Estes volunteered. "I was talking to the Dominican shortstop, J.J. Uribe, who I remember well because he hit what turned out to be the winning home run off of me, after which I started crying uncontrollably and had to be removed from the game. He told me that he hoped to play in the major leagues and that if he did, he had seventeen cousins who would be happy to afford him use of their birth certificates if he needed to appear to be younger to get signed. He must have done that, because he's the same age i am and I'll be 38 in February. Oh yeah, he's DEFINITELY the same guy."

Although the Dodgers did not learn of this fact until a couple of days after the signing, they have applied to the league to void the final year of his already approved three year agreement.

Colletti again: "It's pretty obvious that the Giants knew he was using a phony birth certificate. Otherwise, why in the WORLD would they conduct a SERIES of negotiations with him offering only a two year deal? Hell, he was their most clutch home run hitter, won a lot of big games for them in 2010. It's sheer LUNACY to lose a guy of that ability over one year and seven million dollars. You'd have to be crazy to lose him over that, unless, of course, you knew that he was not 31 as claimed, but 37.

A preliminary league investigation has located birth records for a Juan J. Uribe, born on April 1, 1973 and a Juan C. Uribe, born on July 22, 1979, both in Bani, Peravia in the Dominican Republic. The two are apparently cousins.

Interviewed briefly by Frontburner, Uribe insisted that he never played in the Little League World Series.

"That was my cousin J.J", he squealed. "I'm only 31. I resent people trying to cheat me of my dream. I've wanted to be a major leaguer ever since watching Reggie Jackson hit three home runs in one game of the World Series. I always thought that given a chance, I could do that."

Informed that Jackson's feat was accomplished in the 1977 World Series, some two years BEFORE he claims to have been born, Uribe responded, "My english not so good and I may have been in a coma for part of my early life and I just forgot. My bad" 



Sources at Frontburner have learned that Miguel Tejada, the six million dollar man recently signed by the Giants to be their 2011 shortstop, is using some of his signing bonus to pay for a series of radical surgeries that will replace many of his aging limbs.

Tejada reportedly has already received a dual leg transplant from a 19 year old forklift operator from Madison, Wisconsin who was recently killed in an industrial accident. His wife and child are reportedly grateful for the $200,000 Tejada paid for the recently deceased man's legs.

"Honestly, until Miggy came along, we were looking at some very hard times in this family", explained recently widowed Peggy Dover of Madison. "What a shame it would have been to bury Ben with both of those fine legs just going to waste, rotting there in the grave. Instead, to know that Ben lives on, at least in part, as a part of one of the finest shortstops ever to play the game, well, I think Ben would be proud if he wasn't dead."

"I hope to steal many bases with Ben's legs", gushed Tejada when reached for comment by Frontburner. "And, at last I'll have some fielding range again. God, it's been years since I could go in the hole and rob someone of a hit."

Tejada has plans to also replace his aging right arm and is reportedly on a list kept by New York mobster Jerry "Big Baby" Posio.

"The next guy they hit who is under 25, that right arm is mine", bragged Tejada. "Jerry has promised that it won't be long."

Commissioner Bud Selig is reportedly not keen on this break with tradition.

"Although it's not technically written in the rule book, the tradition has been that players performed their entire career with just one set of limbs, explained Selig. "I realize that you have to change with the times even though I really blew it the year I called the All-Star game a tie, I'm just not sure that we should be encouraging the scavenging of important extremities. After all, what happens when some righthanded pitcher who is having great problems holding runners on, maybe somebody like Lincecum, decides to kill a young lefty and have his arm transplanted? We don't want to be encouraging crime. In this case, what happens if the right arm that Tejada gets owes some favors to organized crime bosses? Could that arm plot to fix a game with an important throwing error? We certainly don't want another Black Sox scandal."

Asked about the Commissioner's hesitation, Tejada said, "It wouldn't be fair to deny me the longevity that Tommy John  enjoyed. What is this, only the old white guys get to harvest cadavers? And, hey, I remember that All-Star game. I left tickets for my former Bani, Peravia Little League teammate, J.J. Uribe. We went to the Little League World Series together and now here I am replacing him. Talk about a small world. I'm on a list for a dead man's chest back home in the Dominican Republic, but J.J. is one person ahead of me, so he'll get one first. Seems like I'm always behind that guy"

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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