The offseason. Even when your team wins the World Series...
...it’s still a cold, desolate environment. The offseason is when you think a little too much about players you probably won’t think of again. The offseason is when unknown players are going to come over from Japan and remain offensive forces in their new league, just like Kaz Matsui. The offseason is when you kick yourself for not signing Nick Johnson. The offseason is when Nick Johnson goes on the DL because his tibia shattered when you kicked yourself.
The offseason is miserable. Long live the offseason.
It’s a different offseason, though. Maybe the urgency will come back as spring training approaches. Right now, I...I...can’t manufacture any outrage.
The Giants let Eric Hacker go -- Eric Hacker! -- and all I can do is watch the MLB Network, waiting for that Sports Illustrated commercial to come on. If the Giants had let Hacker go in the past, you would have been treated to one of these:
Sabean: Exaggerated comment indicating hilarious incompetence!
Eric Hacker’s agent: Humble request to be paid more than the typical minor league free agent.
Sabean: Nonsensical comment.
Eric Hacker’s agent: Suggestion that the Twins called.
Sabean: Rejection of offer based on premise that Todd Wellemeyer is still available!
cheeky outro music
It gets funnier with every reading. But now? Good luck, Mr. Hacker. The Twins sure seem to have a way with those control specialists, so you probably made a good move. Can’t manufacture outrage for this one.
And it isn’t just minor-league free agents, of course. It feels like every move will be met with glazed eyes and a stupid grin for a while. Pat Burrell stays? Great. He leaves. Swell. Five years, $50M? Well, he did help the Giants win the division, which led to a World Series title. Like Teddy KGB says, "Pyayaayy dat myyan hiz moony." Can’t get too upset about that one.
So this is what a lobotomy feels like. There are two obvious reasons why the outrage keg isn’t flowing:
- There was a lot of outrage last year over, what, Aubrey Huff? Fred Lewis? John Bowker? Well, that all just seems silly now.
- The kind of endorphins that your brain sets loose when you watch a bearded man scream and hug a man wearing a chest protector.
There’s no bringing that season back. It’s like that Black Sabbath song says: "If you love somebody, set them free." So we have to move on. On to the barren, baseballless landscape of the offseason. Let’s talk about shortstops and outfielders. Let’s be the only fans in baseball that can complete ignore their team’s rotation when rosterbating.
Well, unless the Giants could get a BIG BAT for Jonathan Sanchez. See, if they can flip Sanchez and Thomas Neal to the Blue Jays for Jose Bautista, and if the Giants can trade Santiago Casilla and Zack Wheeler for Reid Brignac and Jake McGee, they’ll have...
Hey, this feels kind of good. Still can’t manufacture the right amount of rosterbating nerd outrage, though.
#21 / Chicago White Sox
Mar 18, 1976
Brian Sabean wants this guy
Oh, if only for old time's sake
Oh. Oh, yes. That nourishes me. And, hey, maybe there's a way to make a championship team even better. Maybe that's a better thing to root for than some hollow outrage. Just a thought, though the outrage sure was fun, wasn't it?