The Giants Have Too Many Players With Bad Hair
by ORthey on Sep 27, 2009 10:00 PM PDT
Email
PrintOn every team, you’re going to have some guys with bad haircuts. If it’s the 80s, you might have more than a few, but we’re in the 2000s now and hairdo technology has come a long way. Mullets are pretty much gone now, and mohawks are basically out because of hats and helmets. Not that either of those is a bad haircut if you wear it just right.
The Giants, however, seem determined to bring back the bad haircut. It should be noted that hair is not a direct correlate with talent – as I present exhibit A:
You may recognize this guy as Julian Casablancas of The Strokes, but you’d be wrong: it’s Tim Lincecum. Of course, we love Timmy, even though his dad’s "no icing down after games" policy seems more loony than progressive sometimes. But my guess is that even the president of the "Timmy For My Prom Date" fan club would agree that the long hair has got to go. It gets all sweaty and hipstery and… just gross, really. It’s got to go. And since I’m pretty sure that Timmy reads MCC, it’s only a matter of time.
Anyway, up next we have a guy who made the All-Star team during a pretty mediocre season and then didn’t this year when he’s ten times better: Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys. Let’s be fair: he’s really having a great year. He still walks too many people, and he’s still in the business of "Making It Interesting," but he’s only given up three dingers all year long, and has 80 K’s in 71 innings. And anyone who makes Armando Benitez a distant memory is all right by me (sidebar: in 2006, Benitez had a 1.56 WHIP. What a butthole). But back to Wilson: that hair, man. That hair. Wilson’s one of those puzzling guys who’s really into Jesus and Heaven and things but also has that "Badass" look with tattoos and the hair and all that. But as long as he keeps doing well, he could shave his back hair and tape it to his face and I wouldn’t care too much. OK, maybe a little. Plus, he’s a closer, so he has to try to look intimidating and all.
Next up is Sergio Romo, who’s been fairly blurry this year (see above) but all in all is having a decent season. He’s a prime example of why ERA is a pretty meaningless stat for relievers – his ERA stands at a ho-hum 3.95, but his "peripherals" are much better (1.16 WHIP, 11.3 K/9). That's right, I described his ERA as "ho-hum." Sidebar: I hope one day "peripherals" are actually the standard stats used for evaluation, and dumb things like ERA and Wins and MTBAYs (Most Times Being A Yankee) become known as peripherals, or are maybe not even used. Double sidebar: we should start using the term "peripherals" to describe regular people. "Joe appears to be a pretty good guy, but his peripherals haven’t been all that good and a regression to the mean is almost inevitable. I mean, he’s pretty nice, but actually he talks shit behind peoples’ backs and sooner or later that’s going to come back to bite him." Triple sidebar: Just kidding. There’s no such thing as a triple sidebar – don’t be ridiculous! lol.
But so, Romo’s hair – the mini-mohawk thing and the soul patch – just doesn’t really fit his identity as a middle reliever. But really, this post stopped being about hair a long time ago, so maybe we’ll just drop the pretense right now.
The end.
PS – Juan Uribe also had bad hair for a while. In fact, maybe bad hair HAS been a correlate with talent: inversely. All four players I've mentioned have had solid-to-excellent years.
This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.
119 comments
|
7 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Wow - you are totally right.
I can’t believe I forgot Whiteside – perhaps it’s because part of me refuses to believe he actually plays major league baseball.
He messes up inverse talent theory, too.
I blog about the A's and Giants! It's cleverly titled "The Elephant Seal!" You can visit it! http://theelephantseal.wordpress.com !
If he used Just for Men, he’d be needing to buy a few more ties right now!
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 11:19 AM PDT up reply actions
LOL
I don't know anything about minor league players, so I adopted the Coke Bottle, someone please help me.
HOLY SHIT IT WAS BUSTER FUCKING POSEY
Hate that commercial.
SCREW MERIT! HAVE NICE HAIR TO GET JOBZ!
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions
So there is no universe in which a non-deserving candidate with bad hair can get a job?
Uh…shit.
GROUGTHINK ALERT
The first Chester Arthur fanboy ever.
Psst...
…down here , Buddy. In the ditch.
Hair…no hair…plumbing don’t care…
Ya know...ignorance really IS bliss.
Well - I do , anyway.
by victor frankenstein on Sep 30, 2009 12:25 AM PDT up reply actions
His daughters need to buy him Just For Men, then set him up on a date, and cheer him on when he leaves for the date. Maybe make a commercial out of it.
Giant Dirtbags: John Bowker, Steve Hammond. MIA List: Todd Jennings, Brian Anderson
Jeremy Affeldt induces DP's
by Giant among Angels on Sep 28, 2009 10:11 PM PDT up reply actions
“Dad, you’d be a great catch for somebody”
The boner pill commercials are bad and on way too often, but at least they aren’t quite so depressing as what Just For Men’s doing. And don’t even get me started on the Emmitt Smith campaign.
by Bay Area Sports Guy on Sep 30, 2009 1:01 PM PDT up reply actions
I find the Just for Men commercials pro-incest leaning. My beard is weird and I dig it.
"Don't trust anyone under the age of 30" - Brian Sabean
by Smotheredinhugs on Oct 3, 2009 7:44 PM PDT up reply actions
I agree that that hair thing with Sergio was terrible, but I think it’s mostly grown back out again now. Thank god. He needs to do something about the beard though.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
"AT LAST I AM A PARENTS." - Buster
Don’t/Didn’t Jonathan Sanchez and Merkin Valdez have the same thing?
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
he has a Affeldt-Sanchez combo thing goin for awhile
I R 5
by say hey nation on Sep 28, 2009 6:20 AM PDT up reply actions
I thought sanchez actually looked kind of good in it when he first shaved it.
Adopted Giant: Henry Sosa
Baby, Sanchez always looks good.
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
The real reason they couldn’t make the playoffs!
The very bad man traded my son...So now I'd like you all to meet my new son, Ryan "Aaron" Garko...Dammit it's just not the same!
You know who has really bad hair and should never ever be allowed to set foot on a baseball field?
Buster Posey
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Sep 27, 2009 10:23 PM PDT reply actions
You know who has a really bad hair beard and should never ever be allowed to set foot on a baseball field?
James Loney
I assume your talking about Nate though.
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Sep 27, 2009 10:44 PM PDT up reply actions
You know who has a really bad hairFAILbeard and should never ever be allowed to set foot on a baseball field?
Howie stands to look at it in the mirror every morning is a mystery to me.
Ya know...ignorance really IS bliss.
Well - I do , anyway.
by victor frankenstein on Sep 27, 2009 10:49 PM PDT up reply actions
Also , as long as he’s THE MAN Lincecum can do whatever the hell he wants with his hair. Hell , I’m not running my fingers through it , why should I care?
Ya know...ignorance really IS bliss.
Well - I do , anyway.
by victor frankenstein on Sep 27, 2009 10:51 PM PDT up reply actions
But oh if you could… if only you could… ;P
Welcome to the big leagues, son! Proud McCoven parent of future rookie of the year, Gerald "Buster" Posey and RL mom to future HOFer Henry! ;)
by GiantsFanInExile on Sep 27, 2009 11:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Locks Of Lincecum?
Ya know...ignorance really IS bliss.
Well - I do , anyway.
by victor frankenstein on Sep 28, 2009 1:54 AM PDT up reply actions
Mirror?
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 11:20 AM PDT up reply actions
Wrong
They have awesome hair
Zito should go back to blue
I'm a happy seal
by SwisherThresher on Sep 27, 2009 10:47 PM PDT reply actions
if bad hair=WINZ AND RIBBIEZ AND DINGERZ AND AWESOMENESS
i’ll cut the giants’ players’ hair
(needs more plural possessives?)
What makes you the arbiter of follicle fashion, Original Poster?
I bet you’re bald.
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
I think it was
Me owning a computer and an internet connection that qualified me to do so!
I blog about the A's and Giants! It's cleverly titled "The Elephant Seal!" You can visit it! http://theelephantseal.wordpress.com !
I would think again.
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
Yikes
Tough crowd. Maybe I should just go back to bashing their lack of patience and leave the hair alone.
I blog about the A's and Giants! It's cleverly titled "The Elephant Seal!" You can visit it! http://theelephantseal.wordpress.com !
Yeah, I think you should.
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Sep 28, 2009 10:14 AM PDT up reply actions
Um...
OK then.
I blog about the A's and Giants! It's cleverly titled "The Elephant Seal!" You can visit it! http://theelephantseal.wordpress.com !
UM UM UM
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Sep 28, 2009 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions
You can always watch the Yankees. They’re consistently W.A.S.P.
"Don't trust anyone under the age of 30" - Brian Sabean
by Smotheredinhugs on Sep 28, 2009 5:33 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF THEIR COIFFES!
WHY IS BOCOCK?!
by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 28, 2009 9:42 AM PDT reply actions
I think it’s cute that the pitchers seem to have a fun “hair club” featuring mohawks on their heads or beards. It’s a show of solidarity and reflects their tight bond and rebellious spirits.
I admit that Wilson’s looks weird flattened under his hat but when done up properly has that crazy look that suits a closer.
And I do think that Timmy looks much better with shorter hair but if he likes it that way it’s fine with me!
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
This is San Francisco
Yesterday, I saw a large group of people walking down the street in ass-less chaps. I couldn’t care less how they style their hair
Wall-E for Best Picture 2008
2009: The return of Los Galacticos!
How was their ass hair styled?
WHY IS BOCOCK?!
by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 28, 2009 10:57 AM PDT up reply actions
Ass-mullet presumably
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Sep 28, 2009 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions
Business in the front?
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions
I dont know
But I know its a party in the back!
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Sep 28, 2009 9:27 PM PDT up reply actions
pro tip
all chaps are assless
-Department of Redundancy Department
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
That department name is repetitive.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 11:46 AM PDT up reply actions
It’s true that this never happens anywhere else in the country.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions
Ha ha ha
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Sep 28, 2009 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions
Because I totally said that
Wall-E for Best Picture 2008
2009: The return of Los Galacticos!
by Useful_Idiot on Sep 28, 2009 5:51 PM PDT up reply actions
You didn't.
I just get really tired of seeing the “Well this IS San Francisco” crap.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 7:27 PM PDT up reply actions
The facial hair is of much more concern to me right now: Jeremy and Sergio’s weird chin whatevers, Buster’s neck beard, Nate failbeard (sorry Giants Babe!), whatever Velez and Penny have attached to their chins… all bad. There’s also a lot of bad scruff – Rohlinger, Runzler, Zito, MadBum, Frandsen, Rowand, etc. They need to clean it up.
I'm the Juggernate, bitch.
Are there any pics of Nate without the failbeard? I’d be interested in seeing that.
And I like all the crazy facial hair. The only one that I think should go is Buster’s neckbeard—he’s way too pretty to have something like that distracting from him.
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | New Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
Don't let groug see this
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | New Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
WHY I OUGHTA
I’ll bet a lot of people don’t even get what this has to do with me.
GROUGTHINK ALERT
The first Chester Arthur fanboy ever.
You really hate those spring training hats.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions
And you can’t stand it when dudes make shifty eyes at you, either.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Sep 28, 2009 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions
ohmygosh. Thanks, Natto
I mean, look at him!
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
Wow...
Nasty Nate looks creepy in these.
Balding head, turtleneck and a beard… Doesn’t go well together.
And the shifty eyes in the baseball card is weird.
by AmorVincitOmnia on Sep 29, 2009 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions
Third baseman, balding head…….
Sorry, was just thinking of some guy named Matt…
"The knowledge of the game is inversely proportional to the price of the seat." ---Bill Veeck. •Now you can follow SFDugout.com on Twitter and Facebook!•
by BruteSentiment on Sep 30, 2009 1:02 AM PDT up reply actions
Now we must move him to third.
It only makes sense.
by AmorVincitOmnia on Sep 30, 2009 7:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I think that’s actually the Olympic team jacket.
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | New Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | New Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
he creeps me out in this picture
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
"AT LAST I AM A PARENTS." - Buster
I have officially moved on from being concerned about facial hair to being very upset by turtlenecks. (Is that what that is?)
I’ve seen Nate without the beard, and he looks better. IMO, anyway.
I'm the Juggernate, bitch.
Either way he looks good but now that I’ve seen the pics Natto posted I think he should shave. He’s got movie-star good looks! Is he not aware of this?
And I am officially nixing the use of the word ‘failbeard’ and replacing it with ‘cutebeard’. so there!
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
I have to LOL at myself.
That just took my breath away. No kidding! It’s not even how cute he is but how his expressions reflect his sweetness.
Keep the beard, Nate!!
kdl, were you that close to him or is that a zoom?
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
Aw, you’re so cute. He does look sweet in that picture. He was signing autographs for the kiddies!
I was probably 10-15 feet from him, using the zoom lens.
I'm the Juggernate, bitch.
I hope you don't mind
I took your pic as my new avi.
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
That picture was taken minutes before swinging at pitch that hit his arm. Chicks apparently dig the K…
jealous!
Sexy can’t hide itself, sweetheart.
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
This is true
It is the bane of my existence.
WHY IS BOCOCK?!
by Lars The Wanderer on Oct 2, 2009 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions
It's the pelts
They flatter you too much.
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
I'm a completely heterosexual man with a riddiculously hot GF...
But I find Nate dreamy…
Brian Sabean is akin to a treatable form of cancer... just get rid of it before it kills you
Has it been mentioned on this particular website ever that Randy Johnson is ugly?
I don't know anything about minor league players, so I adopted the Coke Bottle, someone please help me.
HOLY SHIT IT WAS BUSTER FUCKING POSEY
Matt Williams had the Duke Snider hair.
Or lack thereof.
As has been noted elsewhere previously
The Giants starting rotation, AKA the Arctic Monkeys. L to R: Cain, Zito, Lincecum, Penny. Not pictured: Sanchez
--
Long ago they came west over the mountains, and I have rooted for them years uncounted; and together through many ages of this world we have fought the long defeat.
That is perfect! Uncanny.
I haven’t seen this before.
A girl on the interwebz and fan of the pantaloons.
Real men don't wear batting gloves.
What's with all the hatred for Lincecum's hair?
by AmorVincitOmnia on Sep 29, 2009 10:51 AM PDT reply actions
AS a dude with long hair, I can say with some authority that it negatively effects my hot-weather performance.
So there’s that.
OTOH, I haven’t had to put sun screen on my neck or ears since junior high.
VAE PVTO DEVS FIO
The sidebar saying people should have peripherals in everyday life definitely reminded me of something Bill Simmons would say. Did anyone else get that feeling?
Proud Son of Tobias
I thought it was funny, but it didn’t remind me of Bill Simmons because I don’t read that douche…
by Missing Barry on Oct 1, 2009 8:16 AM PDT up reply actions
Second fanpost in a week...
…that I thought was a reference to the kids in that commercial with Brian Wilson, and it was not.
Call me a Walrusman or not, but I think that commercial is hilarious, and want to see those girls take a shot at someone else. Maybe singing this at Bochy?
"The knowledge of the game is inversely proportional to the price of the seat." ---Bill Veeck. •Now you can follow SFDugout.com on Twitter and Facebook!•
I don’t think you want to be associated with WalrusMan.
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | New Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
Rec’d? Really?
Giant Dirtbags: John Bowker, Steve Hammond. MIA List: Todd Jennings, Brian Anderson
Jeremy Affeldt induces DP's
by Giant among Angels on Oct 1, 2009 6:40 AM PDT reply actions
It helps distract from the elimination from the playoff race and the rage against the manager/BRASS. And I happen to agree, at least about timmy and wilson. (I know a lot of people seem to get uptight when people criticize timmy’s hair, but it’s just my opinion. As for wilson, I don’t mind seeing kind of a funky closer, but I saw him at fanfest before his mullethawk thing and it looked really good, and you don’t mess with a cool hairdo for something that weird)
Adopted Giant: Henry Sosa
I don’t know either.
I know you nerds know NOTHING about the real game of baseball, or any other athletic endeavor requiring teamwork under physical stress.
Mr. F! | comics | art | New Nattowear | Unofficial McImage Directory
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
