This is the most soul-crushing defeat I've ever faced. For three straight days, my heart's been broken. This is worse than the second-to-last game of 2004. It's almost as bad as that dream I had about the 2002 World Series not being cancelled.
It's at times like these that I ask, "Why?" Why am I emotionally entangled with the doings of 25 men I will never meet and have no connection to? This is especially pertinent, given that I have a lot of more important things (school), and I spent the evening in bed sick. Stress is the last thing I need.
Right now, I want to stop being a Giants fan more than anything, even more than for the Giants to win every game the rest of the way, including the playoffs. For we will meet disappointment eventually. Or, at the very least, I should like to be an idiot frontrunner who has no real attachment to any team. But this is out of my power.
Why? Because fandom is like life. Both can be pleasurable, but both are in the end suffering. nd if we understand this, we can end the suffering of fandom and reach enlightenment.