Liveblogging the end of the game....
8:19: Runner on first, no one out, and Aaron Rowand strikes out on three pitches. Do I mail a check for those postseason tickets, or is there a way to use my debit card?
8:28: If Howry blows this -- hey, look, a rookie outfielder is due to hit fourth! -- I'm not even going to blame him. He's pitched well enough this year, and he's been a fine fourth bullpen option. On a normal team with a non-wretched offense, he'd be a quiet, underrated contributor. On this Giants team, though, every late-inning outing in which he appears is an "Oh, dude, we totally haven't scored any runs this game, so you can't give up any, or else we'll lose. You have no margin for error. Good luck."
8:33: Oh, I get it. You didn't start the ninth inning with Wilson because you're saving him for a save situation. Except now you bring him in with runners on because it's suddenly an important inning? Like, it wasn't before? That makes none sense.
8:34: Kuiper: "The Giants would like to get this to the tenth, where they'll have the top of the order up." The top of the order: Velez, Winn, Uribe. It's cheating to make too much of this, as the only reason Uribe is hitting third is because Sandoval left with an injury, but if a team has Velez, Winn, and Uribe as the 6-7-8 hitters, that team's offense sucks. And how. So pardon me if I'm not excited that the Giants have the top of the lineup coming up.
8:40: Wow. I can't believe the Giants didn't score. I mean, they had the top of the order up.
8:48: Wow. I can't believe Velez made an error to put a runner into scoring position with no outs.
8:51: Still on life support, as the legend of Schierholtz's arm saves the game for the moment. Ryan Garko doesn't understand
8:53: MAGIC DOUBLE PLAY KEEPS THE SEASON ALIVE. Good gravy. Runner on second, no outs, a base hit, and...nothing. I would have lost the pink slip to my car if someone had put a twenty against it.
8:58: Molina bloops a single, and Ryan Spilborghs cocks his arm, obviously thinking about a throw to first. Awesome.
9:00: The home plate ump isn't giving the outside corner to either team. Good for him for being consistent.
9:01: Rough night for Schierholtz. Don't worry, though. Whiteside will fix it all. Correction: Brian Wilson's Bunting Magiporium will get the runner into scoring position! Unless he bunts into a double play.
9:03: Dammit. Just dammit. Helluva takeout slide by Lincecum at second, though.
9:06: OK, it's probably amusing to Rockie partisans, but having a burnout in a purple triceratops costume gyrate his hips behind home plate to distract the pitcher is a disgrace. It's an absolute disgrace. For all of the "Curse of the Bambino/Billy Goat" nonsense that surfaces every October, I'm hoping that in 2093, some sportscaster picks up on the Curse of the Inappropriately Ridiculous Mascot as the reason for the 100-year championship drought.
9:08: A 1-2 single from Yorvit Torrealba. Man, how I wish he were our cleanup hitter.
9:13: I have a ton of respect for Wilson, win or lose. Forty pitches, a runner on third with less than two outs, and he's still pumping 99 MPH fastballs by hitters.
9:14: Time for the twelfth inning. SCORE SOME RUNS, YOU DERELICTS. Fur coat and lame reality show notwithstanding, Wilson is almost certainly the most underrated member of this wacky playoff race.
9:16: The top of the twelfth starts with a quick Rowand-two count. How have we missed that nickname in the past two years?
9:23: Joe Beimel! Maybe he can be the karmic refund for Bobby Howry's multiple gifts to opposing teams.
9:25: Maybe not.
9:27: Checking the Fresno box score, I notice that John Bowker and Buster Posey have combined for twice as many walks as the Giants tonight. That's kind of funny. Less funny: Jesus Guzman has as many walks as the Giants.
9:30: Bottom twelve, and it's a 1-1 tie. In Coors Field. If you traveled back in time to 1998 in a flying Delorean, bringing an iPhone and a box score from this game, I know which one would have fascinated me the most. Two combined runs in 12 innings? What manner of sorcery be this?
9:35: If a major league team can't score runs off Adam Eaton, they don't deserve to be a major league team, much less a contending major league team. Mmmm. Belt-high 90-MPH fastballs and hanging breaking balls. Them's tough pitches! If Adrian Gonzalez is going to terrorize us for the next five years, the least Eaton could do is let us win.
9:41: That's the fastest Eli Whiteside will ever run from now until his last breath. Whew.
9:42: Schierholtz swings at a slider at his back foot. The sun sets in the west. A dog howls at the moon.
9:43: It wasn't a total blown call, but I wouldn't have blamed Angel Campos for calling Schierholtz out on the 2-2 changeup. Gameday says it was a ball.
9:47: Freddy Sanchez will rescue us all! Freddy San...aw, crap. He was just a decoy, and Brandon Medders will hit. Sanchez will be healthy in 14 days, so you can see why it's totally insane to put him on the 15-day DL. WHAT IF WE NEEDED HIM IN THAT 15TH GAME? Good gravy, think about that for a second. That would have been a nightmare to have needed him if he were unavailable.
9:49: Adam Eaton allows three baserunners and lowers his WHIP for the season. Medders has the best swing of the night. I wonder if he can play second.
9:59: Brandon Medders. The answer was Brandon Medders. Not Brandon Puffer, and not Brandon Villafuerte. The correct answer for "non-roster invitee who actually pans out" was Brandon Medders. Beautiful outing, and he almost had the game winning hit.
10:01: Second inning for Adam Eaton, Who, again, pitched himself off of the Orioles roster. Rowand-two promptly waves at two breaking balls that BOUNCED IN FUCKING KANSAS. Only three more years, and then we'll get to watch someone else!
10:04: One out triple from Renteria, aided by some funky caroms in the corner. I, for one, am skeptical that the Giants can hit a fly ball.
10:05: Kuiper: "If you are Ishikawa, this is the at-bat of your lifetime." So, so true.
10:07: Velez. A moratorium on Velez-related punchlines for, like, six months if he gets this run home.
10:11: And they get another run. Unbelievable.
10:15: Wait, why are the Giants running out to the field? The Rockies get another freaking chance? Ooof.
10:18: The 1-0 pitch to Fowler in the bottom of the 14th was obviously a strike, but it was called a ball. Next pitch is a make-up call, way outside.
10:19: Ugh. Fowler's hurt. That's no good. I sure wish the Giants had one of those sweet young centerfielders. Fowler, Rasmus, Schafer, Maybin, McCutchen...nope. Rowand!
10:21: Three-run lead? Better be careful with that leadoff hitter. Nibble. Just don't let him hit a grand slam, even if you have to walk him.
10:27: Justin Miller fires in an 87-MPH fastball to start his save chance. Err.
10:33: Tying run on base -- two walks! -- winning run at the plate. Adam Eaton is up. First pitch: Waaaay outside. Second pitch: Waaaaay outside. Holy crap. Throw srikes, Miller.
10:35: Miller walks the pitcher. Tying run at second. Winning run at first. Thanks for the surprisingly productive work this year, Justin, but I'd just as soon never watch you pitch again.
10:39: The season is over.
The season is over.
The season is over.
That's the worst game I've ever seen.