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Around SBN: The Amateur Mathematics Of Linsanity

I lied to Aaron Rowand. I shook his hand, looked him in the eye and lied. The date was February 8, 2008.

It was the day before Giants Fan Fest out at AT&T Park. That special time before Spring Training when fans can mingle with players, check out the yard, and get fired up before the season.

The night before, I was with a group of friends who decided to go to Bubble Lounge on Montgomery Street in San Francisco. As luck would have it, they don't allow people with Joe Thornton replica T-Shirts, ripped up Nike running shoes and camouflage Chevy hats into this place. I was stuck. All my friends were already inside.

So I said the hell with it, I'll just hit a bar by myself.

So I ambled up the street, looking for a bar. First one I saw was the Hilton on Kearny. I said, "What the hell? Maybe I'll find some hot business chick in here or something."

As I walked by the indoor fire pit, I noticed a large group of loud folks, having a great time. I swore I saw Matt Cain...

So I sat down at the bar and ordered an Anchor Steam. During my second one, my buddy Goose joined me, loose out of his gourd.

I said, "Dude, I think that's Matt Cain over there."

Then, all of the sudden, I saw an unmistakable figure...

Click here to read the rest...

over 2 years ago Sbreak_30_tiny dantheman85x 44 comments 0 recs  | 

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nah. they’re all public figures.

Bonds stands alone.

Proud adopted parent of future big league slugger Thomas Neal
Official Sponsor of the 1997 San Francisco Giants

by nostocksjustbonds on May 22, 2009 12:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

Slander is spoken. In print it's libel.

But yeah nostocks is right.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 22, 2009 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

OMG GIANTZ BAZEBAL TEAM HAZ DACLAP

Minor White > Ansel Adams

by say hey nation on May 22, 2009 12:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

What about the drug speculation? Couldn’t that be defamation of character? That’s always how it goes down on TV, so it must be true.

by Fresburg on May 22, 2009 3:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

I've asked Mayor of 311 this several times

And he says no. He’s a lawyer and stuff so he knows things.

Supporting San Francisco Dugout since 2005 and Manny Burriss since 2006, and bringing you all your California League needs since 2009.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 22, 2009 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

right, I forgot to mention the slander/libel difference. These days it’s usually just referred to inclusively as defamation.

Because the Giants players would be considered “public figures” the person publishing the defamation would have to do so with “actual malice” meaning he or she knew the statement was false, or issued the statement with reckless disregard as to its truth. This is a First Amendment protection. (New York Times. v. Sullivan). Here, the person who posted this witnessed the players drinking and could rightly or wrongly conclude that they had a booze problem. It isn’t defamation under American law.

Also, opinions aren’t defamation. (That doesn’t mean you can preface defamatory statements with “In my opinion…” and have it not be defamation.) Typically, this is an affirmative defense to a charge of defamation, as is the truth. The thing about Lincecum possibly being a stoner would likely be considered an opinion. He wasn’t saying he is a stoner, but rather that he might be. It wouldn’t be defamation unless he was saying unequivocally that Lincecum smoked an illegal drug. Again, the actual malice standard would still apply.

Bonds stands alone.

Proud adopted parent of future big league slugger Thomas Neal
Official Sponsor of the 1997 San Francisco Giants

by nostocksjustbonds on May 22, 2009 5:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

This reads like someone’s fanfic.

by Natto on May 22, 2009 12:38 PM PDT reply actions  

I say they are drinking because they are having such a crappy year. Hell, I have been drinking because they are having crappy year.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

by WilliamVanLandingham on May 22, 2009 12:39 PM PDT reply actions  

This is stupid

The Giants aren’t good at baseball because they aren’t good at baseball, not because they might have been out at a bar once or twice.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Proud father of Juan Carlos Perez. Think Albert Pujols at second.

by marcello on May 22, 2009 12:40 PM PDT reply actions  

MAT KANE HITZ HIZ GRRLFRND

by Natto on May 22, 2009 12:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

She had it coming, she said 27 Dresses wasn’t that good.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Proud father of Juan Carlos Perez. Think Albert Pujols at second.

by marcello on May 22, 2009 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

that bitch!

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 22, 2009 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oh no she di’n’t!!

by Natto on May 22, 2009 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

She ig’nit

Minor White > Ansel Adams

by say hey nation on May 22, 2009 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

No, it's totally because they go to bars.

And the reason Wilson blows games is because of his haircut. It’s obvious.

by chilibean_3 on May 22, 2009 12:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

I think he has a Guitar Hero Injury

Minor White > Ansel Adams

by say hey nation on May 22, 2009 1:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

lame

Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?

by shikantaza on May 22, 2009 12:41 PM PDT reply actions  

hi

GROUGTHINK ALERT
Chatterbalks dot com: Still with jokes. Now with updates.

by groug on May 22, 2009 12:44 PM PDT reply actions  

Every baseball player since Cap Fucking Anson has been a drinker. That’s why God invented greenies.

"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."

by i did my job on May 22, 2009 12:46 PM PDT reply actions  

Ummm, doesn’t MLB have a drug test? So if they are stoners they would not last long. I don’t think Zito would risk voiding his contract for weed. Timmy needs to stay squeky clean so he can land a big contract (arb and beyond)

Minor White > Ansel Adams

by say hey nation on May 22, 2009 12:50 PM PDT reply actions  

Marijuana tests are pretty easy to spoof.

Duane Kuiper: Hall Of Fame broadcaster.

by Johnny Disaster on May 22, 2009 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

No, I will not visit your blog.

by Lars The Wanderer on May 22, 2009 12:57 PM PDT reply actions  

but it was such a clever ploy!

by chilibean_3 on May 22, 2009 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

I almost fell for it

Not so proud adoptive parent of the set-up man.
This is definitely not Howry do it!

by CB30 on May 22, 2009 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

Group of young wealthy athletes drinking? Well I never.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 22, 2009 12:58 PM PDT reply actions  

Next you’ll tell me they were fornicating with floozies.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Proud father of Juan Carlos Perez. Think Albert Pujols at second.

by marcello on May 22, 2009 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

fornicating is an excellent word

Is not used nearly enough. Also floozy. Why aren’t terms like hussy and floozy thrown around more often?

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 22, 2009 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

baseball players go out to bars after games?

OH MY GOD I WAS UNAWARE OF THIS UNTIL NOW HOW DARE THEY

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.

by jponry on May 22, 2009 1:04 PM PDT reply actions  

THIUNK OF DEE CHILDREN!!!!

Wisconsin: Famous for dairy, Ryan Rohlinger and not much else.

by Scottsdale on May 22, 2009 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

Loose Gossage?

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 22, 2009 1:09 PM PDT reply actions  

I bet he refers to him self as either Ice Cold “Iceman” or Mavricky Mc"Mavrick"

Minor White > Ansel Adams

by say hey nation on May 22, 2009 1:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Not funny or interesting enough to overcome the dickishness of the post.

by out machine on May 22, 2009 1:53 PM PDT reply actions  

So lemme get this straight…it’s ok for you and your boys to head out every night, but a random dude that’s about age and happens to throw nothing but 95 MPH gassers off the plate isn’t allowed behind the velvet rope?!?

I AM the Boozer, and I have spoken!

Proud papa of Nathan John Schierholtz. Choo Choo...the train is a comin' baby, get off them tracks!!

by PacBellBoozer on May 22, 2009 2:00 PM PDT reply actions  

Brian Wilson

HAS TATOO’S!!!!!!

Adopted father of Brian Bocock, Brad Boyer, Sharlon Schoop, Shane Jordan and Jeremiah Luster.

by RichH on May 22, 2009 2:51 PM PDT reply actions  

My opinion

Get a life of your own and get over it.

Rafael Rodriguez: Your number 8 organizational prospect before stepping a foot on American soil and has "looked just super so far," according to Felipe Alou. "He has some bat speed and the ball comes off the bat pretty well" - K.Law.

by BrianBokake on May 22, 2009 2:55 PM PDT reply actions  

I think your prose is akin to that of an eighth grade girl writing in the guise of an eighth grade boy.

by satyricrash on May 22, 2009 4:28 PM PDT reply actions  

People in camouflage Chevy hats shouldn’t throw stones.

Haven't been to The Examined Life? No wonder your life feels so empty.
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK

by Josh from Hollywood on May 23, 2009 12:47 AM PDT reply actions  

I don’t know, but they’re sure giving me a drinking problem.

GROUGTHINK ALERT
Chatterbalks dot com: Still with jokes. Now with updates.

by groug on May 23, 2009 1:46 AM PDT reply actions  

I decided I finally had something to say about this stupid thread, and you beat me to the punch.

"Don't trust anyone under the age of 30" - Brian Sabean

by Smotheredinhugs on May 23, 2009 8:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

Honestly, I was surprised no one got to it before I did.

GROUGTHINK ALERT
Chatterbalks dot com: Still with jokes. Now with updates.

by groug on May 23, 2009 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions  

I was leaving it open for you.

by Natto on May 23, 2009 11:32 AM PDT up reply actions  

God Wilson looks fucking retarded…

Semi-proud adoptive father of Scott Barnes.

by boonitez on May 23, 2009 8:50 PM PDT reply actions  

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