Some suggestions on how not to stink...
1. Move Barry Zito to Shortstop and Edgar Renteria to Starting Pitcher. (Seriously, It couldn't be much worse, could it?)
2. The secret for Zito is not to be Zito. And that means no more dating Paris Hilton, too. He's got enough mental issues already...an STD will only deteriorate his brain faster.
3. Clone Timmy. Now. Not too much of a stretch considering one of the Giant's corporate sponsors is Genentech. In 24 years, we will have an unstoppable rotation of 5 Tim Lincecums...never too early to plan for the future.
4. Bengie and Pablo: Two Words: Nutri System.
5. Take Howry out a lot sooner than we've been doing, or else be the butt of endless 'Howry Doody' jokes. Didn't Bochy learn anything from Tyler Walker?
6. Use Rich Aurilia more at 1st base and at 3rd until Ishikawa and Sandoval can show they can handle the big show every game. Richie's veteran bat and clutch hitting is what we need to help break out of the hitting funk clouding our rookies.
6a. If Richie doesn't pull his weight, bring up Dallas McPherson and give him a shot at one of the corners. We need the offense...specifically the longball.
7. Bring up MadBum from the minors and ease him into the rotation, especially if Zito keeps his ERA in double digits. Then Zito can be the most expensive reliever in history...or he can be batboy...or dugout spit can monitor.
8. Consider that the reason why the Padres are so good this year is because they don't have a manager with the initials B.B. (Oh wait, they do have a coach with the initials B.B.? I meant, Bruce Bochy)
9. Score more runs. I think Cleveland scored more runs in one inning yesterday than we have in 10 games. Give Andres Torres a chance in the outfield more and as a pinch hitter. The guy can hit and runs like a gazelle.
My two cents...take it with a grain of rice.
This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.
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37 comments
Comments
Pffft, who needs 5 timmy’s? I’ll take timmy, cain, bumgarner, sanchez, alderson.
Less arm, more talk. Raisingcain is a GAMER.
Adopted Giant: Henry Sosa
by raisingcain on Apr 19, 2009 1:14 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I agree that's an awesome future Starting Five...
But what are we going to do about run support for them?
"It kind of gives everybody else out there who is not a big person the motivation and the inspiration that they know they can do it, too."--Tim Lincecum
by Timlincecum.com on Apr 20, 2009 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hopefully a bunch of the sj hitters pan out. (On a side note, my reasonless hunch right now is that alderson will end up in the pen)
Less arm, more talk. Raisingcain is a GAMER.
Adopted Giant: Henry Sosa
by raisingcain on Apr 20, 2009 5:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Buster Posey's tearing it up in the minors...can't wait for him...
As far as free agents go, isn’t Matt Holliday going to be a free agent in a couple of years? I think he’d be a great addition to the Giants.
"It kind of gives everybody else out there who is not a big person the motivation and the inspiration that they know they can do it, too."--Tim Lincecum
by Timlincecum.com on Apr 20, 2009 6:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You know your team's offense really sucks when...
…people on your own fan forums are suggesting Rich Aurilia and Dallas McPherson as viable solutions.
Anagram of "knowing how to win" = WOW, I KNOW NOTHING
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 19, 2009 1:20 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
#5
No. He didn’t.
Semi-proud adoptive father of Scott Barnes.
by boonitez on Apr 19, 2009 1:20 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
It’s like you combined the worst parts of Jay Leno (base humor) and David Letterman (Stale Top 10 list format)
Billy Ripken is not a fuck face
by Karlifornia on Apr 19, 2009 1:21 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Upon reading the whole thing
#7: No. That’s a very bad idea.
Semi-proud adoptive father of Scott Barnes.
by boonitez on Apr 19, 2009 1:22 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Very bad indeed.
Hi, I am Johnny Disaster.
by Johnny Disaster on Apr 20, 2009 9:50 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Some suggestions on how not to stink…
Wear deodorant.
Adopted groomer for Mark Gardner's Mullet / Adopted brother of the AnVil
by SoFa King Mike on Apr 19, 2009 1:44 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Please don’t try so hard to be clever.
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
by Goofus on Apr 19, 2009 3:24 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Mad Bum and Timmy Two
I really don’t think Mad Bum or Timmy Two are far from being major league ready. I would have no problem with their being brought up right away (under the theory that a pitcher has only so many pitches in his arm), not for this year but so they would have experience for 2010.
The “problems” are Randy Johnson and Barry Zito, who would need to be replaced in the rotation. Randy could be a trade deadline casualty, but unfortunately the Giants would seem to be stuck with Zito until Barry pitches well enough that he can be traded without a large percentage of his cotract being eaten or until he pitches so poorly that he can reasonably be shunned to the bullpen.
I’m dreaming of a scenario where a team such as the Dodgers or Tigers need an extra starter for the stretch run and would trade either Clayton Kershaw or Rick Porcello for the combination of Matt Cain and Randy Johnson. Maybe, just maybe, if Matt were having a really good season and/or someone such as Henry Sosa were added. And that assumes Randy continues to pitch well, of course, but I would be surprised if he DOESN’T have a fairly good year.
But realistically, it’s just a pipe dream. Still, who would have thought the Sharks could have traded for Joe Thornton? What is the harm in dreaming?
It’s all about building for the next decade.
by sharksrog on Apr 19, 2009 4:04 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
omg... another trade cain post...
but wait, for a pitcher? i’m not sure i agree (in fact, i’m pretty sure i don’t) but points for being original, at least.
Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...
by Smoke on the Water on Apr 19, 2009 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That would be a really bizarre trade to make.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
by jponry on Apr 19, 2009 5:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I second the bizarre trade--
An inter-division trade for starting pitchers seems unlikely between the Dodgers and Giants…
In an unrelated bizarre sidenote, Jason Schmidt was on my MLB Front Office Manager roster, and in the fantasy season for 2009 went 2-12 with a 9.00 ERA, and spent a lot of time on the DL. Hmmmm….
"It kind of gives everybody else out there who is not a big person the motivation and the inspiration that they know they can do it, too."--Tim Lincecum
by Timlincecum.com on Apr 19, 2009 7:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That is such a miserable game. By 2013, my Giants were 150-12. And Lincecum signed a 10 year/ 70 million dollar extension. And I rule 5 drafted the other 4 pitchers in my rotation, and they all had ERA’s under 3.5.
Great concept, way too easy.
by MonkeyChow on Apr 19, 2009 7:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
MLB Front Office Manager is a great concept...not too accurate though
I’m only in my first season on the game and had no idea that it wasn’t real time based. I was hoping the game would have a real time stats option that updated daily via Xbox Live and be more like actual fantasy leagues.
Oh yeah, and Emmanuel Burriss hit about 8 home runs in the first two weeks of the season and was batting above .300. LOL
"It kind of gives everybody else out there who is not a big person the motivation and the inspiration that they know they can do it, too."--Tim Lincecum
by Timlincecum.com on Apr 19, 2009 8:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Agreed
I agree that such a trade is unlikely to happen, as I mentioned in my original comment.But my point is that I would trade Matt Cain and Randy Johnson — and perhaps throw in Henry Sosa, as well — for the chance to acquire a potential superstar talent such as Rick Porcello or Clayton Kershaw.How great would it be to have three potential superstar pitchers in Tim Lincecum, Madison Bumgarner and either Porcello or Kershaw?The Giants never had a shot at Kershaw, who was drafted three spots ahead of Tim Lincecum in the 2006 draft, but they could have taken Porcello instead of Tim Alderson had they been willing to pony up Buster Posey-type money to do so.
IMO they made a mistake by not going that route. Porcello is being paid $8 million for his first three seasons (with this being the third). He is already in the majors and after a poor first start, yielded just a single run in seven innings yesterday. Porcello is 20. Kershaw just turned 21.Clearly it makes more sense to spend $9 million per season on Edgar Renteria than to spend $8 million over three years to guarantee having Porcello, who many considered to be the best high school pitching prospect since Josh Beckett. (Just try to leap over THAT sarchasm! :)
I think the Giants have made many good decisions the past three years. I think there are several they could have done far better on, beginning with the Barry Zito signing, obviously.But really, if the Giants had spent $8 million on Porcello instead of $128 million on Zito, they would be FAR better off. It appears the Zito decision was Peter Magowan’s, and I doubt too many of his baseball people were recommending it. Any who were should probably be let go.
One thing that is frustrating is that the Giants seem to be a year behind in some cases.
When Tim Lincecum came up, I felt the Giants should have tied him up for a decade. A year later the Rays did almost precisely that (nine years) with Evan Longoria — and did so at a bargain price that will give them two more years than the Giants have Barry Zito for barely a third of the cost.
At virtually that same time, I felt the Giants should open up their pocketbooks to sign Porcello, particularly when he was available at #22 overall. A year later the Giants did open their pocketbooks to sign Buster Posey, giving Buster the largest pure bonus of any player drafted — ever.
Baseball’s dynamic is constantly changing. At one time it was making shrewd trades that got teams ahead. Then it became top free agent signings. Now it is keeping one’s payroll costs down by building a home-grown roster that can provide bargains such as Tim Lincecum’s Cy Young winning season at just $405K last year.
The Giants have done a good job of that the past three years. Had they ponied up for Porcello, they could have done even better.
I would still be recommending trading Cain and Johnson for Kershaw — but the Giants would already HAVE Porcello. If the Giants were somehow able to make that trade for Kershaw, can you imagine a future rotation of Lincecum, Bumgarner, Porcello, Kershaw and ANYONE else (even Barry Zito)?
by sharksrog on Apr 20, 2009 7:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
But my point is that I would trade Matt Cain and Randy Johnson — and perhaps throw in Henry Sosa, as well — for the chance to acquire a potential superstar talent such as Rick Porcello or Clayton Kershaw
You see, Rog, the problem with suggesting trades is you have to find some sucker to take you up on the backend.
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
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PARPG- Indy post-apocalyptic roleplaying game currently in early planning stages.
by zenbitz on Apr 21, 2009 8:18 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Let’s say Randy posts a 3.5 ERA before the all-star break, what kind of return could we get for him alone?
by MonkeyChow on Apr 19, 2009 5:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You want to send matt cain to the dodgers?
You know you can get banned for that, right?
"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on Apr 19, 2009 5:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
no, really you cant…
hazily mention politics even in passing, though, and thats bad shiznit
i adopt Les Plack, D.D.S. for the following reasons:
1. greatest name for occupation ever (except maybe lesbian prostitute sharon bottoms)
2. i am hoping for free dental care from my son (if he ever hears of this)
3. the giants need him more than anyone because their smiles are all they've got right now
by Headhunter Rollins on Apr 20, 2009 11:56 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
sharksrog, I'm disappointed
You are clearly a good evaluator of pitching talent, having recognized the genius of Lincecum very early, but is it that hard to see the potential of Matt Cain, which is, to me at least, in the same realm as that of Kershaw and Porcello? I know Matty hasn’t bust out on the W/L record scene yet, but imagine if he were on the Red Sox- the kid would have had two straight 15+ game-winning seasons at this point.
"The BB's are out. The BB's are being arseholes to me." - Brian Wilson.
by hairball on Apr 19, 2009 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cain has no swingthrough stuff
Judgment Day is coming
comics | art | Nattowear
by Natto on Apr 19, 2009 9:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Let Rog speculate. You really think the Giants’ are going to help the Dodgers out for their stretch run? And believe me, between their prospects and their money, the big market Dodgers are going to be able to upgrade their rotation if need be without trading Clayton Kershaw. What are the chances that we trade Madison Bumgarner? Zero? That’s even more of a chance that the Dodgers trade Kershaw and the Tigers trade Porcello. As good as Madbum is going to be, those two are already in the majors at similar ages.
Proud new dad of Edgardo errr Edgar Renteria!!!
by rxmeister on Apr 20, 2009 7:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
although we all know that I would trade Cain for a big booming bat!! Trading him for another starting pitcher makes zero sense. Trading Cain for a younger starter makes even less sense. Since when should anyone be concerned about Cain’s age?
Proud new dad of Edgardo errr Edgar Renteria!!!
by rxmeister on Apr 20, 2009 7:02 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You're not thinking big, Mark
I understand what you’re saying here, Mark. Clearly the Giants need hitting more than they need pitching (although I hope that balance will be closer in two or three years and particularly four or five years from now).
But if you can improve your team — and particularly do so through REDUCING payroll — I think it is foolish not to. I agree that it would be almost impossible to acquire either Porcello or Kershaw (the latter of whom I think you underrated when you saw him pitch against the Mets last season). But if the opportunity to do arose, why would you shy away from doing so merely because you would be improving the Giants’ pitching rather than their hitting?
Isn’t a run saved as good as a run scored?
And what is wrong with thinking big? If the Sharks hadn’t been thinking big, they wouldn’t have acquired Jumbo Joe Thornton. And I realize today isn’t the very best time to point that out.
I believe in thinking big and keeping one’s options open. Heck, if I were the Giants’ GM, I would even trade Tim Lincecum if I felt it would help the franchise. Of course I’m NOT in that position, so I look askance at even the mere THOUGHT of trading Tim.
I truly suffered that one weekend when Brian Sabean said he was at least considering trading Tim for Alex Rios. That would have been as ghastly a mistake as signing Barry Zito was.
And you KNOW how much against that signing I was.
by sharksrog on Apr 20, 2009 7:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You are right here, Mark
You are right here, Mark. But a guy can dream, can’t he? You know I was all over not drafting Porcello right from draft day 2007.
by sharksrog on Apr 20, 2009 7:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
bowl of rice
"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on Apr 19, 2009 5:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cha Cha bowl of rice
"It kind of gives everybody else out there who is not a big person the motivation and the inspiration that they know they can do it, too."--Tim Lincecum
by Timlincecum.com on Apr 19, 2009 7:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
with a sheboygan and garlic fries*
*which come with Pt. Reyes blue cheese, if you’re a V.I.P., apparently
"The BB's are out. The BB's are being arseholes to me." - Brian Wilson.
by hairball on Apr 19, 2009 8:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
With a side of rice?
VAE PVTO DEVS FIO
by Bhaakon on Apr 20, 2009 12:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'll take it with a grain of rice
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
-------
PARPG- Indy post-apocalyptic roleplaying game currently in early planning stages.
by zenbitz on Apr 20, 2009 9:08 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
1. haha lol no.
2. Maybe contracting an STD that prevents Zito from pitching could somehow void his contract, in which case I’m all for it.
3. haha lol no.
4. I honestly believe that Bengie could not slim down much no matter how hard he tried, which is fine since he’s not long for this team anyway. Pablo should definitely slim down. Start him on a strict diet of bamboo immediately.
5. I don’t think Howry is going to work out as the 8th inning guy. When he first signed with the Giants I remember reading a lot of comments from Cubs fans who were very glad to see him go. Plus he is such a sourpuss, which can only be pulled off if you have Randy Johnson’s stuff. Typical case of Sabean’s veteran love, but fortunately only a one year contract.
6. Rich Aurilia should be a greeter at Wal-Mart right now, not our starting or even platooning first baseman.
6a. I agree that some of the guys waiting in Fresno should be given a chance to try and contribute to this team offensively, but no need to wait for Aurilia to bomb out, because I believe he’ll be mediocre enough to remain a Bochy favorite for the rest of the season.
7. MadBum will be here soon enough, unless Sabean trades him straight up for Dan Uggla.
8. The Padres were pretty good under Bruce Bochy.
9. More Torres and Schierholtz, please. Right meow!
10. I agree, lolcats are fucking awesome.

Right now Jon Miller is somewhere wearing a flamboyant tie and thinking about me.
by Norm Median on Apr 20, 2009 12:40 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Point #6 came true...
We took out Ishikawa and put in Rich Aurilia and won against the Dudgers last night. I left out one other suggestion…Need More Schierholtz!
"It kind of gives everybody else out there who is not a big person the motivation and the inspiration that they know they can do it, too."--Tim Lincecum
by Timlincecum.com on Apr 28, 2009 10:34 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

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