A Day Without Tim Lincecum
by Grant Brisbee on Mar 16, 2009 12:33 PM PDT
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PrintTaking a break from the wildly popular "Community Projection"-series might not be a bright idea; there’s always a chance that I’ll forget about the Eugenio Velez projection before the season starts. But a couple of things happened on Sunday that made me want to write about Tim Lincecum:
- Barry Zito left a bad taste in my mouth after his awful start, and
- Luke Hochevar started for the Royals.
And when I write that Zito "left a bad taste in my mouth," what I really meant is that watching Zito get slapped around left a taste in my mouth so awful, it was if I were chewing on a sock that had covered Dom DeLuise’s privates as he made love to the anthropomorphic trash heap from Fraggle Rock. I hate using clichés to prove my point, but I’m not sure how else to explain it. Only a dose of Lincecum can get rid of the funk.
Hochevar was the #1 overall pick in the 2006 draft, and eight other teams passed on Lincecum. How would things be different if another team picked Lincecum? Bullet point style:
- The Giants might have picked a prospect who is still gracing top-100 lists, like Travis Snider or Kyle Drabek, or the butterfly effect of Linecum going earlier might have allowed Clayton Kershaw or Brandon Morrow to drop. The odds, though, say the Giants would have picked a dud. And we never would have known. We would have treated Lincecum like we do with Justin Upton or Matt Wieters – promising, talented young player, but we never had a shot, so why should we complain?
- The Giants might have cracked 100 losses last year. It’s almost impossible for one pitcher to be worth 10 wins in a season, so this might be a stretch. But Lincecum energized the fans, who sent their energy back to the field in the form of a chakra beam transfer. Or something.
- The Giants surely would have replaced the phantom roster spot with a free agent. Kenny Rogers? David Wells? Jason Marquis? Jeff Weaver? The parade of possible goofs is endless. Maybe the Giants would have jumped on the C.C. Sabathia caboose because they figured they were an ace away from returning to contention.
- The rebuilding process after the above plan failed would be a total, salt-the-earth affair. No Edgar Renteria, maybe no Aaron Rowand, and players like Bengie Molina and Randy Winn would have been traded, even if the Giants had to eat salary.
- Oh, that last bullet point is assuming that Sabean never gets a contract extension in 2007. Any hope of contending in the near-term relies on Lincecum providing ace results on a scrub salary. Without that faint hope of a young and cheap, top-of-the-rotation duo leading the Giants’ rebuilding hopes, the reins are given to someone else. This hypothetical is probably the biggest stretch of the list, but it isn’t too crazy. When Sabean received his extension, the Giants had the best pitching prospect in baseball as a part of the rebuilding plan. Without that prospect, the rebuilding plan Sabean put forth might not have been as compelling.
- We’d be less excited for 2009 than any season in, oh, 20 years.
Lots of stretches up there. Maybe a couple of those are unrealistic. But the rippling of a non-Lincecum pick in 2006 would have left a totally different organization in its wake. Also, maybe you left work five minutes earlier one day just to watch Lincecum pitch, and there was a horrific accident on the freeway during your normal commute THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU. Lincecum: Winning games for the Giants and saving your life since 2007.
The obvious comment starter: How would the franchise be different if Lincecum were drafted by another team? Silly and serious answers accepted, of course.
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Not cool
just, not cool. I can’t stop thinking about Dome Deluise’s privates
Why does Sabean always look constipated?
We probably would have taken Morrow.
by Lars The Wanderer on Mar 16, 2009 12:42 PM PDT reply actions
of all the 9 pre-Lincecum picks, I think Morrow is going to turn out to be one of the better ones.
by FluLikeSymptoms on Mar 16, 2009 1:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Matt Cain would be a second starter.
Brian Sabean figures that if he buys enough bottles, one of them is bound to have lightning in it.
AT WORST!!!
Adoptive father to the All-Father. Does that make me the All-Grandfather?
by EliminateMe on Mar 16, 2009 1:01 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Without Lincecum
I don’t know how much I’d be following the Giants, assuming they picked a dud and would suck beyond suck.
STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.
This, kind of
He sure made the post-Bonds pain more bearable.
The 2008-2009 offseason is driving me sane!
Amazing
The amazing thing is that had the Giants not drafted Tim, I really wouldn’t have known the difference. It wasn’t until they drafted him that I began to study up on him and then became more interested in their draft picks since.
One might say Tim brought me out of ignorance.
sharksrog without Lincecum
It would probably go something like this:
COME ON SABIEN RENTARIA NAD JOHNSON HAHHAAH WHYNOT SIN BURKS AND ALOO THEN HVAE A HOLE TEAM F OOOOOLD GUYS GALRAGGA TOO HAHALOLROFLMAO!
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Mar 17, 2009 10:14 PM PDT up reply actions
we’d probably all think Timmy is an injury waiting to happen
by microwave donut on Mar 16, 2009 1:05 PM PDT reply actions
Yeah, if he were with another org, he’d totally be made of porcelain.
by The Double Deuce on Mar 16, 2009 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I remember a lot of drafts having us taking either Bard, Drabek, or Kershaw. I think Morrow was considered more of a reliever (is he starting now?), though the whole Hennessey deal probably shows that no pitcher plays too small a role in sabean’s world. But honestly, as amazing as Timmy is – had he been taken earlier, would anyone really be complaining that much if we had Kershaw?
Also known to haunt as theghostoftravisdenker and theaccidentalghostofsergioromo.
by theghostofjasonellison on Mar 16, 2009 1:06 PM PDT reply actions
a lot of MOCK drafts*
Also known to haunt as theghostoftravisdenker and theaccidentalghostofsergioromo.
by theghostofjasonellison on Mar 16, 2009 1:06 PM PDT up reply actions
if he was taken earlier we would have no reason to complain (does anybody complain about us not landing A-Rod in 1993) and we would probably be pretty excited about Kershaw or Morrow or whoever it was
by FluLikeSymptoms on Mar 16, 2009 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions
Think you would like this if you haven’t read it already.
Giant Dirtbags: Brian Anderson, Todd Jennings, Steve Hammond, John Bowker
Don't F with the Affeldt
by Giant among Angels on Mar 16, 2009 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
I visualized a contortionist.
OK if I adopt Randy Johnson?
"What kind of a stupid question is that?"
by victor frankenstein on Mar 16, 2009 9:41 PM PDT up reply actions
That’s what I meant to link. Next time.
Giant Dirtbags: Brian Anderson, Todd Jennings, Steve Hammond, John Bowker
Don't F with the Affeldt
by Giant among Angels on Mar 16, 2009 10:29 PM PDT up reply actions
this probably says i care about this team too much
but your post has honestly scared the bejeezus out of me. xanthan, you and your computer brethren had better not invent some time machine that could ever make anything like this happen. EVER.
How would things be different? Matt Cain would get more love. And we’d all be ogling Stephen Strasburg right now because we’d have the top pick this year.
Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...
by Smoke on the Water on Mar 16, 2009 1:06 PM PDT reply actions
xanthan, you and your computer brethren had better not invent some time machine that could ever make anything like this happen. EVER.
I’ll only use the computer time machine for good — honest.
How would the franchise be different if Lincecum were drafted by another team?
Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria!
/Ghostbusters reference
My plans for 2009: getting married and attending Tim Lincecum Bobblehead Day.
Tim Lincecum is out with the flu today...
I bet they’re out skateboarding and having an awesome time together. Lucky flu.
by The Double Deuce on Mar 16, 2009 1:15 PM PDT reply actions
WHAT THE HELL
The flu is cheating on me!
STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.
by UnleashTheGore on Mar 16, 2009 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions
Tim Lincecum doesn't get the flu.
The flu gets Tim Lincecum.
by The Double Deuce on Mar 16, 2009 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I wouldn’t have had to read this post.
Proud adopted parent of future big league slugger Thomas Neal
by nostocksjustbonds on Mar 16, 2009 1:17 PM PDT reply actions
IRL
Sergio Romo will gladly hand you a bench to sit on / GIANTSPACE™ / Adopted brother of the AnVil
by SoFa King Mike on Mar 16, 2009 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions
love it.
Also known to haunt as theghostoftravisdenker and theaccidentalghostofsergioromo.
by theghostofjasonellison on Mar 16, 2009 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions
IRL LOL
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 16, 2009 5:23 PM PDT up reply actions
We’d probably be more receptive to nicknames like L-Cum.
Anagram of "Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum" = TENSE, CLIMACTIC, TRIUMPHING
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Mar 16, 2009 1:45 PM PDT reply actions
“…it was if I were chewing on a sock that covered Dom DeLuise’s privates as he made love to the anthropomorphic trash heap from Fraggle Rock.”
I’ve read this twice and am still not certain, but for Mr. DeLuise’s sake, I hope Grant chews on the sock after it’s been removed.
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
I mean, we are talking about the taste in one’s mouth after watching Zito pitch. Assume nothing.
by Grant Brisbee on Mar 16, 2009 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Dom would laugh at someone attempting to gnaw on his junk.
by Lars The Wanderer on Mar 16, 2009 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions
One flex and Grant’s teeth would all fly out of head.
by Lars The Wanderer on Mar 16, 2009 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Here’s what a friend of mine emailed to me midway through yesterday’s game: "three runs in top of first against royals. hanging curves result in two singles and a homer. same as it ever was. fuck i hate him. i wish he would catch the ebola virus. and give it to renteria and rowand.
My plans for 2009: getting married and attending Tim Lincecum Bobblehead Day.
Come to think of it
(Or, in honor of this thread, “lincecum to think of it…”)
Renteria DOES sound an awful lot like a disease.
The 2008-2009 offseason is driving me sane!
I thought it was a Caribbean religion…
by Johnny Disaster on Mar 16, 2009 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I ain't go no crystal ball
.
.
.
.
.
Zito’s got all of our million dollars(s), and he’ll spend them all.
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
-------
PARPG- Indy post-apocalyptic roleplaying game currently in early planning stages.
You should ban yourself for even thinking about this
Not deadbeat Dad looking to adopt young SF ball player.
by AndYourBirdCanSing on Mar 16, 2009 2:04 PM PDT reply actions
Scary
If Grant banned himself, the only think left for the main page posts would be:
- Natto’s art
- Walrusman talking about Rush
- Whatever it is Howie does
- Goofus’s jokes about dicks
- Kenshin’s jokes about Goofus’s dick
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
Open Rushday 3/17
Everyone start Test For Echo……….now!
Whoah, what drums!
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
Seriously? We could turn this into a Rush blog?
Let me lead the uprising! WalrusMan for president! FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOMMMM!!
STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.
by UnleashTheGore on Mar 16, 2009 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions
lol
best sports center ad ever!
Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...
by Smoke on the Water on Mar 16, 2009 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions
Howie would have no one to hit on.
Not deadbeat Dad looking to adopt young SF ball player.
by AndYourBirdCanSing on Mar 16, 2009 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Hi groug!
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Mar 16, 2009 9:23 PM PDT up reply actions
That post was like Goofus’ dick … full of bullets!
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Mar 16, 2009 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions
BOOYA!
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Mar 16, 2009 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, that post was like howie’s dick, too short to take seriously
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
Oh yeah? Why don’t you take this seriously!
/grabs crotch.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Mar 17, 2009 7:09 AM PDT up reply actions
starting a landslide on your blog, grant?
"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"
by The Gene Hackman on Mar 16, 2009 2:25 PM PDT reply actions
I just watched Fraggle Rock again after all these years
What a friggin’ weird show. Sure dig Uncle Travelin’ Matt, though.
The 2008-2009 offseason is driving me sane!
Back in the day, there used to be a kid’s show called Lidsville. It had to have been inspired by LSD.
by Lars The Wanderer on Mar 16, 2009 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions
What about the teletubbies?
WTF was that? And Ringo Starr on Shining Time Station, and the Wiggles, etc. etc.
The 2008-2009 offseason is driving me sane!
Exactly.
Sid & Marty Krofft were both on acid when they came up with those shows. They had to be!
by Lars The Wanderer on Mar 16, 2009 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
PufnStuf
I was a bigger fan of PufnStuf, although Charles Nelson Riley was great in Lidsville. Hard to believe but an orange dragon in cowboy boots who was the mayor of an island seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
Look out! Here comes the Sour Grapes Bunch!
But they were clearly hash eaters and not acid heads…
by Johnny Disaster on Mar 16, 2009 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Ah God , here come the damned flashbacks again. Thanks for nothing.
Over hill and highway the Bananabuggies go…
OK if I adopt Randy Johnson?
"What kind of a stupid question is that?"
by victor frankenstein on Mar 16, 2009 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Your bizarro universe frightens and confuses me
Noonan. Nooooonan!
by Giant Fan in Singapore on Mar 16, 2009 3:04 PM PDT reply actions
This is the same world
where Tim Lincecum is on the Dodgers
Sergio Romo will gladly hand you a bench to sit on / GIANTSPACE™ / Adopted brother of the AnVil
by SoFa King Mike on Mar 16, 2009 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
It’s also the world where Cain is actually good.
Sergio Romo will gladly hand you a bench to sit on / GIANTSPACE™ / Adopted brother of the AnVil
by SoFa King Mike on Mar 16, 2009 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions
instaban
STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.
by UnleashTheGore on Mar 16, 2009 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions
It has been far too long since I have checked in over here
But now that ST is finally well under way, how has Pedermo looked? There are a few of us over at VEB who are wondering if he is going to stick with the Giants. Since this group here seems highly intelligent, I thought I would ask for your opinions on whether or not he has a chance of being sent back to the Cards.
Now I just need to remember to come back here more often.
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
and....BEN SHEETS!!! **
**not that BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment, just BEN SHEETS!!!
(BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment)
from what i've seen/heard he's looked very good...
lots of swings and misses. not sure what the odds of him sticking are, but i sure hope the giants hang onto him.
Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...
by Smoke on the Water on Mar 16, 2009 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Perdomo went today and he just exploded in the bad way. It was the first time I’d seen him pitch and I was impressed when I saw him throwing. He looks like he’s throwing 200 miles per hour. He’s rail thin and his arm moves very fast.
He was ahead with two strikes against a batter before he gave up a very loud double and then he unraveled. He couldn’t find the plate, walking two straight batters and throwing two wild pitches. I’m talking all the way to the backstop over the catcher’s head wild pitches.
Merkin Valdez pitched before Perdomo and he looked great for one inning. I was surprised when they sent him out for a second inning. He gave up two hits after he retired the first batter of his second inning of work and then was pulled for Perdomo.
Also Jack Taschner pitched today and he was excellent, retiring all three batters he faced in one inning. He struck out Kendry Morales in the sixth. Justin Miller was perfect in two innings. Waldis Joaquin came in after Perdomo and got the K to get out of the inning and then struck out two more Angels in the ninth. He looked very good and had some swingthrough stuff today.
When I got to the ballpark and learned Affeldt would be starting I knew we were in for a long day. I hate losing to the Angels.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 16, 2009 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Merkin Valdez pitched before Perdomo and he looked great for one inning. I wassurprisedhorrified when they sent him out for a second inning.
Fixed.
Unlike Timmy, I believe Valdez is made of porcelain, and needs to be treated very gently, even in Spring Training.
My plans for 2009: getting married and attending Tim Lincecum Bobblehead Day.
this
I wished there was someone with me at the game today. I could have made a joke about how Merkin’s good for about 20 innings before he breaks again.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 16, 2009 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions
I wished there was someone with me at the game today.
I’m tellin’ ya , lady , it’s the Chinese takeout…it’s been three days now , throw it away already!
OK if I adopt Randy Johnson?
"What kind of a stupid question is that?"
by victor frankenstein on Mar 16, 2009 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions
We would probably have the first overall pick this year.
Giant Dirtbags: Brian Anderson, Todd Jennings, Steve Hammond, John Bowker
Don't F with the Affeldt
by Giant among Angels on Mar 16, 2009 6:31 PM PDT reply actions
So, what pick do people think we’d have in the draft this year?
Second?
GROUGTHINK ALERT
Chatterbalks dot com: Now with updates!
I'm not sure what would have happened.
Things would have been different, but I found this and I find this AWESOME!
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
by WalrusMan on Mar 16, 2009 6:52 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Easily the greatest thing I've seen today
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 16, 2009 6:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Vic Jr's favorite song.
Maybe a shadow of a smile breaks across his teen angst features.
OK if I adopt Randy Johnson?
"What kind of a stupid question is that?"
by victor frankenstein on Mar 16, 2009 9:57 PM PDT up reply actions
what's funny
is that I think there are a couple of “no’s” missing in the 2nd line from the top.
It’ is sort of puzzling why this graph stops before “mamma mia”…. but eh, still funny.
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
-------
PARPG- Indy post-apocalyptic roleplaying game currently in early planning stages.
AH HA HA HA HA
This is perfect. Source.
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
IT’S A RUSH ROLL! DON’T DO IT!!
Not deadbeat Dad looking to adopt young SF ball player.
by AndYourBirdCanSing on Mar 16, 2009 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions
THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE AN OFFICIAL SOURCE WALRUSMAN WHY WOULD THE SOURCE BE ON YOUTUBE WITH THE TITLE YYZ?
GROUGTHINK ALERT
Chatterbalks dot com: Now with updates!
“How would the franchise be different if Lincecum were drafted by another team?”
Dude, not even I am bitter and nihilistic enough to contemplate that.
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
-------
PARPG- Indy post-apocalyptic roleplaying game currently in early planning stages.
Watching the Lincecum commercial for the 1 millionth time
I’d ask Tim: What is wrong Wang Chung?? (when he told the fake Tim “And we don’t listen to that”)
Yeah, they could have picked a better song/band to mock in that commerical, like oh, say, for instance…RUSH
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
That would have made that commercial perfect.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
But then we would have had to listen to Rush every time it came on.
GROUGTHINK ALERT
Chatterbalks dot com: Now with updates!
Take your baby by the ears
And play upon her darkest fears.
OK if I adopt Randy Johnson?
"What kind of a stupid question is that?"
by victor frankenstein on Mar 17, 2009 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
theres a quote from the "1960's movie" skit on snl...
where it is said
“the rain falls up
and the cars go backward
and the puppies go meow”
this is what our live would be like if we did a “sound of thunder” redo and changed everything
[Brayen] of sabean, your semi- conscious potato trip across "to gold winches" democratic pavement will bring Communist pride to the orange and black democratic perfection. your [randay] of Johnson – spy for the Russian Mafia. warn yourselves they warn themselves! you will purchase smirnoff the vodka
by Headhunter Rollins on Mar 17, 2009 9:14 AM PDT reply actions
most exciting player since Willie Mays
There will be a bronze statue of Timmy at the stadium circa 2035, it will not have the crooked teeth as he will get them fixed. You will see the giants eventually paying him about 30 million a year as the franchise. The next mose exciting event willl probably be when the giants let go of B. Sabean. The giants better hold on to what they got! This way they could build a baseball dynasty.
I wouldnt check this site a billion times a day because it would be a useless antidote to masochism?
by lincypoo i wuv u on Mar 18, 2009 11:18 AM PDT reply actions
better than bonds
lincecum is my favorite giant of all time not named willie mays. definetaly will be better than barry bonds, bonds may have the hr record, but lincecum will get the all time wins record, and most cy young awards. I cant even think what life would be like as a giant fan without lincecum
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