I just wish I could throw 90+ mph, I just think it would be cool.

Barry Zito probably has this same fantasy.

Baseball fantasy: Catching strike three in the ninth inning of the deciding game of the World Series. Wearing a custom painted goalie-style catcher’s mask and bright orange nikes with my uniform. Sad that they won’t give me my number 11, but in all fairness Carl Hubbell was there first.

Sportswriting fantasy: We’ve covered this one. Den Haag, honkbal, busty redhead.

I pitch in the majors. And I don’t suck.

Giants Dodgers. It’s the 15th inning. Runner on 3rd (Juan Pierre) 1 out. Line drive in the gap. I , the center fielder, make a full extension diving backhanded catch, somersault into the throwing motion and easily throw out Pierre trying to tag up. It’s not even close, my throw is a line drive. The double play preserves a 3-0 deficit as the Dodgers had scored 3 that inning off Yabu. I’m up last chance for the Giants, bases loaded, two outs. Fall behind 0-2 battle back to 3-2 after fouling off countless pitches. Grand Salami into the cove. Before I cross home plate i do one of those hand stand thingys that turns into a flip and land on home plate. Suck it, Dodgers!

Somehow I make it to the NFL as a running back for the 49ers. Start off on the practice squad and work my way up due to injuries. Keep in mind i’m doing this while secretly taking night classes on how to do that Russian dance. My first touchdown of the career I score a TD and bust out that dance end with the 3 kick thing and saying (Hey, Hey, Hey!). I retire from the game after that play, legacy intact.

30 teams in 30 days

You fantasize about Jennifer Connelly being on a deserted island? Don’t you think that’s a little cruel?

I fantasize about Charlize Theron in the middle of the Sahara. She’s an oasis in a sea of dirty, ugly sand.

I think I probably lived my baseball fantasy when I got to watch Barry Bonds play for what was essentially my entire self-aware life.

But if I was going to pick something that didn’t actually happen… I’d probably being playing shortstop in a ground-ball only league. I’d also be good at playing shortstop. In real life, my debilitating fear of ground balls is somewhat debilitating when it comes to this whole fielding ground balls things.

I wouldn’t even have to hit. I just love the feeling so much better when I do something cool with the leather.

It also happens to be my loftiest dream/goal. It’s possible, just takes a lot of $$$.

I want to buy the Giants. Sole owner. Then I’d make myself manager and hire a group of true giants fan/statheads…kinda like some of the people here, to do the GM duties as a committee. I’d also allow for a great degree of fan input because after all, the team is supposed to be the fans. I believe that if the community feels actually involved in the path the teams is on then both team and fans will be happier. Not really sure exactly how to involve people other than polls and submissions on the website.

The reason I’d make myself manager is because then if we lose, I can blame myself rather than feel frustrated at my lack of control. Honestly, there is no good reason to get so upset over a game unless you are actively involved. As a fan the whole point is entertainment. When I (and many of you) have my mood changed for the worse because of a ballgame, there is something wrong. Sometimes I really wish I was one of those people who didn’t like sports. EMO!!!

is to watch the San Francisco Giants win the World Series

One was for a young pitcher to rise out of the organization and win the Cy Young Award.

[check]

Marlins in the first round, Dodgers in the NLCS, A’s in the WS.

Close games are nice in the regular season, but postseason drama gives me heartburn (and insomnia, and a short temper…).

I hit a frozen rope down the right-field line at AT&T, I decide immediately I’m going for three bases. The Mets right-fielder gathers it cleanly by the fence, and throws a one-hopper to second base just as I’m rounding first. I decide to stick with my original plan of getting a triple. I squint, purse my lips, and charge towards second. The second baseman and shortstop look at me in awed by what they perceive as insanity, but what I call living out my fantasy. Just as I’m about to be tagged out at second, a massive bald eagle swoops in and clutches me in its talons. I look down and see the Mets shortstop as dropped both his ball and glove, stunned.. The eagle and I fly off into the sunset. Destination: Burkina Faso. Objective: Fun

I’m actually writing an entire book of similar baseball fantasies.
 

her unibrow is an island unto itself, do not want

I’ll tell you what I’d do, man… Two chicks at the same time.

That’s my baseball fantasy, you ask?

Damn straight, I always wanted to do that. I figure if I was a baseball player, I could hook that up, because chicks dig ballplayers with money.

Not all chicks, you’re probably thinking. Well, the kind of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me.

My fantasy is pitching a no-hitter for the Giants in Game 7 of the World Series but, tragically, we lose 1-0.

/dream about being Matt Cain

I wanna… lick, lick, lick, lick you from your head to your toe

I always used to think the best way to win the World Series would be to rob a GW HR in the top of the ninth and then hit one in the bottom of the ninth.

YEAHHHH

Comes back to the Giants, wins Cy Young, hits five homers.

Draws me a picture of Noah Lowry. Autographs it on the boxers.

What.

The San Francisco Giants win a World Series.

The Dodgers finish in last place out of all NL teams for ten years in a row and don’t make it to the postseason for 70 years.

Game winning homerun to win the world series.

Pablo Sandoval greets me with a big (panda)bear hug at home.