Sour Grapes and the Giants
by Grant on Oct 8, 2009 11:54 AM PDT
142 comments
After putting my daughter to bed last night, I sat on the couch and watched the Dodgers/Cardinals game. I had a glass of Bulleit Bourbon on one side and a gigantic cat on the other. I sipped the bourbon. I watched some baseball. I skritched the cat.
The Giants not making the playoffs is a bad thing, but there are some benefits. In an alternate reality, the Giants did squeak into the playoffs. I had a chance to interview Alternate Reality Grant for just a bit:
Me: So, how are things?Alternate Reality Me: Oh, just fine.
Me: Just fine?
ARM: A-OK.
Me: You aren't unbelievably nervous or stressed out?
ARM: Nope. I'm cool.
Me: So I'll assume that the huge wet spot on the front of your jeans isn't urine, and that you're not incontinent.
ARM: Nah. That's not urine.
Me: Good.
ARM: I think it's bile. I think I'm urinating bile. It stings. I'm cold. Is it game time? I'm cold. I just want to wrap myself in red-white-and-blue bunting and go to sleep. Will you stay with me? Oh, god, another wave is coming. I need to ride the wave. Here's a spoon. Make sure I don't swallow my tongue. Here comes the wave. Ride the wave. I'm cold.
Really, I'm a lot of fun when the Giants make the playoffs. But there's something to, you know, being able to relax.
This period of relaxation allows me to calmly discuss who would be the 2009 playoff goat in that alternate reality. Who would have given us the Candy Maldonado sliding non-catch? Who would have given us the Shawn Estes baserunning magic? Who would have given us the Jose Cruz, Jr. clank of Gold Glove irony? There are a few different directions you could go:
The obvious
Eugenio Velez misjudging a fly ball in the ninth inning. Fred Lewis muffing a fly ball, then stepping on his sunglasses as he tries to pick the ball up. Ryan Garko popping up to shallow left in ten straight appearances with the bases loaded. Bobby Howry allowing walkoff home runs even when the Giants play at home. These kinds of scenarios would be entirely predictable, even if some of the scenarios represent an overblown portion of a player's overall contribution.
The surprise
This is more like the Jose Cruz, Jr. thing. Someone does something well all season, and then stinks up a single play to ruin all of the good that preceded it. Tim Lincecum walking seven in three innings. Pablo Sandoval hitting into a double play every time he comes up with runners on base. An error by Travis Ishikawa after he comes into the game as a defensive replacement.
The Barry Zito
Somehow, the stars align to get Zito the start of the fifth game of the Divisional Series. He pitches like the Zito of old. Not old-old, like when he won the Cy Young, but new-old, like when he started with the Giants. Certainly not new-new, which is more like old-new, and we're all fine with that Zito. I forget where this is going, but no matter how well Zito pitches for the Giants in a given year, if he gets knocked around in a crucial playoff start, all we'd hear that offseason is "$126 million! $126 million!"
The ultimate humiliation
Scrapping through the Divisional Series and the NLCS to get to the World Series...only to get manhandledly swept by the Yankees. That isn't a real word yet, but it would have entered the lexicon after a four-game romp that would have made 1989 look like a collection of nail-biters. There isn't a current adverb that could really get across a 34-2 series run differential. Manhandedly would have done nicely, though.
The ultimate pain
Losing to the Dodgers in the NLCS. On a walk-off home run by Andre Ethier. With Russell Martin on base. Who got there after a blown call at first with two outs in the ninth in Game Seven with the Giants up by one. I mean, use your imagination, folks. This could have been an all-time, give-up-baseball-for-needlepoint kind of season.
So this is an Open Sour Grapes Post. How would the Giants have broken your heart in the 2009 playoffs? Because they wouldn't have won the World Series. Definitely not. There wasn't a chance. And I bet those grapes I can't reach are totally sour. Like, yuck. My cheeks are puckering just thinking about them.
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I skritched the cat
Is that what they’re calling it now?
Anagram of "suck it Russell Martin" = TRUER SKILL: SCUM STAIN
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Oct 8, 2009 11:56 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Illegal in 5 states.
Grant should be ashamed of himself.
"The BB's are out. The BB's are being arseholes to me." - Brian Wilson.
by hairball on Oct 8, 2009 2:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
But according to your handle, cats have done a lot to you.
by San Francisco Slim on Oct 8, 2009 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
To answer your question with a question, did you say something about bunting?
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Oct 8, 2009 12:00 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
It was Grants inner-Bochy talking.
by deuce deuce on Oct 8, 2009 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Let me answer your question answer with another question...
How many abodigitals do you see male-modeling?
Brian Sabean is akin to a treatable form of cancer... just get rid of it before it kills you
by milesntrane on Oct 8, 2009 12:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I bet you did think I knew what a eugugaly was?
by jnormous on Oct 8, 2009 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
/dies in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Mustache. Grow one. - Steve Balboni
by jhiat00 on Oct 8, 2009 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
actually it was Zoolander that said the above quote, and he was the only one of the four to survive e the accident.
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Oct 8, 2009 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Juan Uribe finally gets the parasitic Alien removed and turns back into Juan Uribe.
Please hit better, Randy Winn.
by oldjacket on Oct 8, 2009 12:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Bengie Molina couldn’t reach base. Aaron Rowand hacks at slop. Edgar Renteria hits .150.
You know, they’d play the same.
El Presidente Larry Baer's epitaph
"Nothing important ever happened without me."
by ResDog on Oct 8, 2009 12:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Brian Wilson balks in the winning run in the NLCS against the Dodgers.
Proud father of Juan Carlos Perez. Think Albert Pujols at a position to be determined.
by marcello on Oct 8, 2009 12:08 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
They would do something to make me say
FUCK THIS TEAM
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 12:15 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
MCC would probably set the record for most “FUCK THIS TEAM” phrases in a one week span.
by deuce deuce on Oct 8, 2009 12:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well look on the bright side:
My campus store has started selling Choco Tacos!
Bruce Bochy would like you to look at the career numbers and stop complaining.
Bob Howry's #1 (and only) fan!!!
by cheno on Oct 8, 2009 12:23 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
DO WANT!!
Mustache. Grow one. - Steve Balboni
by jhiat00 on Oct 8, 2009 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
the liquor store accross the street has choco tacos
readily available at the freezer counter. however the weird thing is, ive never paid the same price for them. the guy behind the counter makes up prices for everything.
by projectmayhem713 on Oct 8, 2009 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I recently got on adderall and can’t ever have a choco taco again :( damn you caffeine!!!!!
Congrats to my soul mate and birth brother Zach Wheeler on being drafted into greatness. Should I just buy my Wheeler jersey now, or wait till my next birthday?
by TexasRanger on Oct 8, 2009 8:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
ALTERNATE REALITY SCOTT SUCKS
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Oct 8, 2009 12:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
bottom 9, up one, one out, bases loaded and shallow fly to cf… rowand claims to be aiming for home but throws it over third and it skips into dugout?
by mlb22 on Oct 8, 2009 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Top 9, bases loaded, 2 out, SF 3 LAA 5, the count is 3-2: Scott gets HBP as he he swings at ball four, Joe Buck blandly gurgles “…and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are World Series champions…zzzzzzzzz…”
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Oct 8, 2009 12:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’ms sorry, that is completely unrealistic. The score was SF 4, LAA 5.
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Oct 8, 2009 12:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
bottom 9, up one, one out, bases loaded and shallow fly to cf…rowand claims to be aiming for home but throws it over third and it skips into dugout?Bochy makes a defensive replacement mid-play and Schierholtz sprints out of the dugout, catches the ball, and guns the guy at home.
Thats better
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Oct 8, 2009 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
except that bochy actually also subbed in garko at first, and garko ran over to cut off nate’s throw.
by mlb22 on Oct 8, 2009 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Clearly
Since this year they didn’t make the playoffs, this WOULD have been the year of magical freak out wins and a World Series championship in SF. Ztio throwing 8 shutout innings. Rowand Raking. Molina drawing walks and tagging up and scoring on a short fly to center.
Bastards.
OK, not that that last one.
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
-------
PARPG- Indy post-apocalyptic roleplaying game currently in early planning stages.
by zenbitz on Oct 8, 2009 12:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Why is it that when I think of Howry I see Medders?
How could I possibly confuse the two?
Ya know...ignorance really IS bliss.
Well - I do , anyway.
by victor frankenstein on Oct 8, 2009 12:35 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
because in late game situations, they act as one
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
LOLINEUP!
Merkin Valdez? Manuel Mateo? A rose by any other name...
by rotorueter on Oct 8, 2009 12:35 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
LOL POSEY
"I FEEL A LOT OF HAPPY!" - Juan Uribe
FREE BUSTER POSEY
by djp4cal on Oct 8, 2009 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I COINED LOLINEUP!
El Presidente Larry Baer's epitaph
"Nothing important ever happened without me."
by ResDog on Oct 8, 2009 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
BOCOCKED!
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Oct 8, 2009 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Would we say that even in the Worlold Series?
Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit... Maybe.
by Mayor of 311 on Oct 8, 2009 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I said that when I walked into that massage parlor in Hong Kong
Obviously any links in the above post are probably NSFW
by jctGamer on Oct 8, 2009 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes.
Merkin Valdez? Manuel Mateo? A rose by any other name...
by rotorueter on Oct 8, 2009 7:06 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Go Yorvit!
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 12:51 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
In the first round, whoever we’re facing sends out four soft-throwing rookies with no command to pitch against us (preferably, these guys are usually bullpen arms!), saving their real aces for round two. All of them go 7+ innings of shutout ball, and we just wish that we’d had one game against a greg-maddux-in-his-prime type pitcher so we could have salvaged one win.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Oct 8, 2009 12:58 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
More of the same.
Giants give up 3 runs and lose the division series in 4 games.
Mustache. Grow one. - Steve Balboni
by jhiat00 on Oct 8, 2009 1:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
followed by this
[code]
Rk Year Tm Lg G W L
2 2008 SanFranciscoGiants NL West 162 72 90
3 2007 SanFranciscoGiants NL West 162 71 91
4 2006 SanFranciscoGiants NL West 161 76 85
5 2005 SanFranciscoGiants NL West 162 75 87
[/code]
I R 5
by say hey nation on Oct 8, 2009 1:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah this alternate reality would suck.
Mustache. Grow one. - Steve Balboni
by jhiat00 on Oct 8, 2009 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
I R 5
by say hey nation on Oct 8, 2009 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’ve felt like that since the season ended… my high point? the 49ers!
by PiKAgiant on Oct 8, 2009 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
SUCK IT PIKA CRABTREE SIGNED MUAHAHAHAH
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 2:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
LOL
I don't know anything about minor league players, so I adopted the Coke Bottle, and it's totally grown on me.
Get rid of Bochy and Sabean, it's time for something new.
by ringleader3 on Oct 8, 2009 5:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
OH YOU"RE GOING DOWN YOU JERK! I was never against Crabtree, i just hated the fact his agent was being an asshole
by PiKAgiant on Oct 8, 2009 7:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I made a ten dollar bet with a coworker in may that the 49ers would have more wins then the raiders, he is also a dodger fan so I feel no shame in taking his money.
Congrats to my soul mate and birth brother Zach Wheeler on being drafted into greatness. Should I just buy my Wheeler jersey now, or wait till my next birthday?
by TexasRanger on Oct 8, 2009 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
God
raider fans are idiots. Someone on here actually thought the Raiders were going to be GOOD this year. Not just “not terrible”, but GOOD. Ridiculous. If you get money from their idiocy, more power to you.
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Raider fans have no brains, you know this, neither does crabtrees agent… Never said i hated Crabtree, i said i thought he was being immature with the fact he wanted to be paid like a top draft pick when he was selected 10, then i understood it was his agent jerking him around
by PiKAgiant on Oct 8, 2009 10:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
As I said the entire time...
you never heard HIM say anything. Good thing the team understands that.
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 10:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yea, that’s why i respect him now, and all i care about is performance on the field, you know?
by PiKAgiant on Oct 8, 2009 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Amen brother
already the team is saying he’ll be on the field vs houston. Very encouraging that they want him out there quickly. Hopefully he gets in game shape quickly and can help for the stretch run. Thats what I’ve been hoping for since the holdout started.
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 11:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Us Raider fans should just stick to what we do best, beating your team in fantasy playoffs!
El Presidente Larry Baer's epitaph
"Nothing important ever happened without me."
by ResDog on Oct 9, 2009 6:09 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
…and punching each other in the face.
"El once, chico. Eleven."
by Juan Primo on Oct 9, 2009 6:51 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
My aunt actually lost some teeth at a raiders game. She got in a fight w/ another raiders fan.
/covers the white trash tattoo with shirt
I R 5
by say hey nation on Oct 9, 2009 7:01 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
grrrrrrr
/ david caruso “FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU” gif
asshole
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 9, 2009 11:07 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Watching genuinely good teams in the playoffs....
….makes me realize that the Giants finished in an appropriate place.
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 1:42 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
McC offices will be open from 8 am -noon everyday. Please, feel free to stop by and TURN YOU USERNAME IN!
I R 5
by say hey nation on Oct 8, 2009 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
why?
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nothing wrong with what he said
the Giants were not on the level of a lot of other teams. Obviously their pitching was better, so they would have had a chance in a 5-game series. But still.
/grumble
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 2:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
THE GIANTS WOULD HAVE BEEN NO HIT 2 OUT OF THE FIRST 3 GAMES...
"Buy High-Sell Low"--The Brian Sabean Method Of Trading
by Mordy From Monsey on Oct 8, 2009 1:54 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
i disagree
We seemed to have had some luck against aces and near-aces, it was the random rookie or Correia type that just simply baffled us.
by Giant Voodoo on Oct 8, 2009 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hear that snort of derision?
It came out of Kevin Correia’s nose.
Ya know...ignorance really IS bliss.
Well - I do , anyway.
by victor frankenstein on Oct 8, 2009 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
and have 28 up, 28 down in the third game
bengie counts as two people
by sfoakbay on Oct 8, 2009 7:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Game 5 against the bums @ AT&T, we’d be up by one in the top of the ninth…Bochy brings Wilson to close the game. Of course Wilson can’t get a 1-2-3 so he walks gets the first batter out with a strikeout, second batter is out on a ground ball to first. Wilson walks the tying run, gives up a homer to Kemp to send us into the bottom of the 9th. Two giants on base 2 outs, Rowand at the plate. Swings at the first pitch, high, swings at the second pitch, low and away, gets caught looking at the third in the strikezone….
tears of immense sadness
please giants...don't make me cry like I did in 02....
Well Timmy...you make me cry tears of joy.
by sanfrankid on Oct 8, 2009 1:55 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
mistake first batter, Wilson gets the batter out on a strikeout* (not walks)
please giants...don't make me cry like I did in 02....
Well Timmy...you make me cry tears of joy.
by sanfrankid on Oct 8, 2009 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The purpose of this exercise? Let’s see the MCC (most) goes into a depression at the season’s end. Now we are to view an alternate reality where they make the playoffs and shred our heart to bits. Nope. Grant, snap out of it!
Crazy Crab despised in the 20th century and beloved in the 21st century. Hey it only took over 20 years, so don't give up hope.
by timmeh on Oct 8, 2009 2:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Giants, in the 5th game of the NLDS, take a 1-1 tie into the 14th, scoring 3 runs in the top of the inning only to have their bullpen blow the 3 run lead by giving up a grand slam.
This scenario sounds eerily familiar…
"The big thing people say to me is, 'Why don't you ever smile?' Well, I'm too interested in trying to beat somebody right now to smile." Will Clark
"I'm close to six feet, I like to think." The Freak.
by Tellias on Oct 8, 2009 2:33 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
LALALALALALALALALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU
Please refer to username
by SabeanPlusBochyEqualsEpicFailure on Oct 8, 2009 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Shouldnt the Giants offense be really good in an alternate reality?
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Oct 8, 2009 2:39 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Alright, but the pitching is awful.
by chilibean_3 on Oct 8, 2009 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
the lunatic fringe unravels
Crazy Crab despised in the 20th century and beloved in the 21st century. Hey it only took over 20 years, so don't give up hope.
by timmeh on Oct 8, 2009 2:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Badbye!
Brian Sabean strongly encourages you to disregard the drudgery of your employment responsibilities and join him in the consumption of spirituous libations.
by satyricrash on Oct 8, 2009 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Giants vs. Playoff teams
vs. Phi – 4-3
vs. Col – 10-8
vs. LAD – 7-11
vs. StL – 4-3
vs. LAA – 0-3
total – 25-28
In the alternate playoff reality, whichever team they face rests its top starters and uses only journeyman 5th starters and unknown rookies/minor league veterans to completely dismantle the the Giants in a 3 game sweep, winning each game 1-0.
Neal before Zod!
Official Sponsor of the 1997 San Francisco Giants
by nostocksjustbonds on Oct 8, 2009 2:45 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
somewhere in this alternate playoff reality, I see Bochy handing the game ball to Barry Zito when he takes him out of the game
of course, it’s probably in the 4th inning after he gave up 7 runs, but still, that’s what I see.
Neal before Zod!
Official Sponsor of the 1997 San Francisco Giants
by nostocksjustbonds on Oct 8, 2009 2:47 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Mountain Mud Stains?
#1 threat to America: Pandas
Also, Tim Lincecum
Adopted Father: Tyler Graham
Official McPokeMaster
Registered Velezbian and supporter of Fredemption
by GrahamCrakalaka on Oct 8, 2009 2:57 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
skid marks?
Mustache. Grow one. - Steve Balboni
by jhiat00 on Oct 8, 2009 3:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Whoa
Matt Cain: throwing complete game shutouts since 06'. No big deal.
by cain1rstballothof on Oct 8, 2009 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Since Grant gave me the Pokemon tangent, here's Zack Greinke's greatest quotes
10. “I could hit me if someone were on base. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could do it. If no one were on base, I wouldn’t care as much, so I could get me out.”
9. Upon hearing then-GM Allard Baird was going to watch him throw: “And you’re gonna be impressed,”
8. “I’d say the average person wouldn’t eat a Chipotle burrito and still do his running, full speed, like me. That’s why they call me special.”
7. “I was giving Brian Bannister all the credit for being the best-hitting pitcher on the team, until today. Now, I’ve got my confidence back. They’re throwing me sliders, and it doesn’t matter.”
6. “For the first month of the season, (Billy Butler) has definitely been an above-average first baseman. That’s hard for me to say because I never thought anyone would say that but him and his family.”
5. Two years ago, with Alex Gordon struggling, Greinke pulled him into the video room to show him a clip of Greinke hitting his home run. “In case you forgot,” Greinke said, “this is what a home run looks like.”
4. “Nice effort by the defense. They didn’t get tired of running after balls to the wall. I was pretty impressed by that.”
3. To Jeremy Affeldt after Affeldt gave up a homer on what he thought was a good pitch. “Really, I went back to the clubhouse and looked at the pitch on video. It was a really bad pitch. Right over the middle of the plate, and you got it up. I mean it was a bad pitch.”
Affeldt: “Thanks, Zack.”
Zack: “Right down the middle. I could have hit it out.”
Affeldt: “Thanks, Zack.”
Zack: “Yeah.”
2. On making the Sports Illustrated cover: “There’s a lot more interesting stuff going on right now. They should have something else on the cover. Playoff basketball or something else. So it’s a mistake. They’ll probably sell their least amount of magazines in a long time — except when NASCAR was on the cover.”
1. On hoping President Obama would cuss him out at the All-Star game: “Because none of the White Sox guys like me. So I was hoping that he’d recognize me and be like, ‘You punk, I hate you.’ But he didn’t do that.”
And finally, my personal favorite :
“I don’t want to pitch for New York in the playoffs,” he told the people there. “I want to pitch for Kansas City in the playoffs.”
http://royalsblog.kansascity.com/?q=node/467
Obviously any links in the above post are probably NSFW
by jctGamer on Oct 8, 2009 3:54 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! (at the last one.)
Please refer to username
by SabeanPlusBochyEqualsEpicFailure on Oct 8, 2009 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This dude sounds pretty awesome
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He’s like a white Ichiro.
Merkin Valdez? Manuel Mateo? A rose by any other name...
by rotorueter on Oct 8, 2009 7:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I love Zach a little more now, he kicks ass
Congrats to my soul mate and birth brother Zach Wheeler on being drafted into greatness. Should I just buy my Wheeler jersey now, or wait till my next birthday?
by TexasRanger on Oct 8, 2009 8:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Zach is awesome as always.
"I never watched baseball on TV. It's slow and boring. I'm not a fan. Never was." - Jeff Kent
by Yoyo on Oct 8, 2009 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Asperger’s FTW!
--
Long ago they came west over the mountains, and I have rooted for them years uncounted; and together through many ages of this world we have fought the long defeat.
by shanghaijim on Oct 8, 2009 11:06 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I like him.
Supporting San Francisco Dugout since 2005 and Manny Burriss since 2006. Bringing you all your California League and New York-Penn League needs since 2009.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Oct 9, 2009 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is the first time I’ve seen someone use “sour grapes” correctly in a looong time.
HA HA HA LOOK AT ME I'M ALL HAPPY AND STUFF NO REALLY CAN WE STOP WITH THE COOKYMAN IS SAD JOKES?
:-) :-) :-)
by Cookyman on Oct 8, 2009 4:25 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
sounds like some sour crepes you’re munching on there!
by Into the Void on Oct 8, 2009 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Putting them in ambrosia salad.
Utter frustration and futility.
by Johnny Disaster on Oct 8, 2009 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Why do I see Johnny Depp being threatened by a cougar?
Ya know...ignorance really IS bliss.
Well - I do , anyway.
by victor frankenstein on Oct 8, 2009 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Like it means being butthurt, or being a sore loser.
HA HA HA LOOK AT ME I'M ALL HAPPY AND STUFF NO REALLY CAN WE STOP WITH THE COOKYMAN IS SAD JOKES?
:-) :-) :-)
by Cookyman on Oct 8, 2009 6:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh wow. I never knew that it meant something not that.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Oct 8, 2009 6:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
And I’m really happy to know that it comes from the Aesop fable, too. It makes complete sense with that context!
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Oct 8, 2009 6:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Context is good.
HA HA HA LOOK AT ME I'M ALL HAPPY AND STUFF NO REALLY CAN WE STOP WITH THE COOKYMAN IS SAD JOKES?
:-) :-) :-)
by Cookyman on Oct 8, 2009 6:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Less context is bad.
GROUGTHINK ALERT
The first Chester Arthur fanboy ever.
by groug on Oct 8, 2009 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
No it isn’t.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Oct 8, 2009 10:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You're being reductive
GROUGTHINK ALERT
The first Chester Arthur fanboy ever.
by groug on Oct 8, 2009 10:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
No, I’m just messing with you.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Oct 8, 2009 11:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you’re willing to be messing with me, you’re willing to be wrong.
GROUGTHINK ALERT
The first Chester Arthur fanboy ever.
by groug on Oct 9, 2009 3:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
No, you are.
Context, people. More context is good. Less context is bad. If you're willing to be reductive, then you're willing to be wrong.
by howtheyscored on Oct 12, 2009 10:39 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You're going to hear it used wrong a LOT more
than you’ll hear it used correctly, unfortunately.
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 10:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
In the alternate reality playoffs
The Dodgers would run out of healthy starters and sign Bobby Jones out of retirement. He would toss a two hit shut out and strike out 11 Giants.
In the real playoffs, Jeff Weaver would have done the same.
by baseballjunkie on Oct 8, 2009 5:58 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
fuckin' dodgers
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 6:16 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I thought Jose Cruz Jr Retired!!
"Buy High-Sell Low"--The Brian Sabean Method Of Trading
by Mordy From Monsey on Oct 8, 2009 6:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
in my alternate reality, Matt Holliday would drop a fly ball that would have ended the game and assure the Dodgers of a series victory.
by FluLikeSymptoms on Oct 8, 2009 6:53 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I was hoping for a Huston Street-Matt Holliday matchup for the NLCS…
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 6:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hopefully Holliday will be so fired up to beat the Dodgers that he'll give the Giants a discount!
so that NEXT season, he’ll fuck up again in a big game vs LA
YOU EAT YOUR DAMN EGGROLL
by heimy25 on Oct 8, 2009 7:40 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
One run lead, bottom of the ninth in game seven of NLCS against the Dodgers. One on. Line-drive off of Pablo’s gut bounces half a mile into the air. Runner on base scores, as does the hitter (Russel Martin). Giants lose the game and are eliminated. As the ball comes down, it hits Timmy in his right shoulder. Pablo and Timmy both miss the 2010 season with a hernia and a torn rotator cuff, respectively because of this play.
The baseball Satanist
by thehavenot on Oct 8, 2009 8:18 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Geez, whaddya have to do to get a Redwoods score?
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 8:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
where’d you find that? I looked on yahoo sports, and then the UFL website, which didn’t seem to be responding…
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 9:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Juan Uribe something something XANTHAN WUZ RONG something something I WIN something something Giants lose.
Still in despair.
"Use the stencil! Do it!"
konakona:「つかさに教われと...なんか非常に負けたような気がする。」
Shun Kakazu: MOAR JAPANESE PROSPECTS PLZ
by Zetsuboushita on Oct 8, 2009 10:21 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
DANY HEATLEY
"I FEEL A LOT OF HAPPY!" - Juan Uribe
FREE BUSTER POSEY
by djp4cal on Oct 8, 2009 10:51 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
do your homework
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 8, 2009 11:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I've got one!
vr,
Matt Holliday
Schadendodgerfreude 2009!
by WhereThere'sAWillieThere'sAMays on Oct 8, 2009 11:15 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Oh my god
that outback ad is really pissing me off
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 8, 2009 11:33 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
You know what’s pissing me off? getting shit from Ohio fans and Viking fans STILL from Favre, and Ohio fans because they think i like USC
by PiKAgiant on Oct 8, 2009 11:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Fuck vikings fans
their fucking team fucking sucks and fucking favre will fucking choke like he always does.
fuck.
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 9, 2009 12:06 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dude, i agree, how many more fucks do you need in there though? Look, Favre will flame out like he always does it’s a given, we agree there, plus people here are saying “oh no that won’t happen, cuz we got Adrian Peterson, he’s the best, and he wont let Favre go to shit”. DO THE VIQUEENS HAVE ANY RECEIVERS? the niners might have slightly better receivers now than the viqueens
by PiKAgiant on Oct 9, 2009 12:16 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Have you paid attention to my posts here?
I’m the “fuck” captiol. Wait, that sounds wrong. Anyways, yes, the vikings’ jerseys are appropriately purple, because that’s what color they turn when they choke every year.
Extremely proud adoptive parent of Paul E. Stanley, deserved all-star and hacker extraordinaire
Thanks to roger
I've never been happier to have Crabs
by bondslegend on Oct 9, 2009 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
don’t you like USC?
well, it was really gary thomasson--the great, giant, fan
Language of the McCoven--TWSS!, Meh!, STFD!, Bork!, Fail!, STFD! STFD! STFD!
by greatgiantfan on Oct 9, 2009 12:07 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’m a Michigan fan, and a Fresno State fan
by PiKAgiant on Oct 9, 2009 12:15 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
3rd best
Spartans AT BEST!
(BTW – I hate USC)
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN... UNLESS HE KEEPS DRAFTING WELL. .. AND SIGNS UNDERRATED PLAYERS LIKE AFFELDT OR PHELPS. .. OR ALRIGHT WHO'S PLAYING WITH THE ALIEN MIND-SWITCHING RAY?
-------
PARPG- Indy post-apocalyptic roleplaying game currently in early planning stages.
by zenbitz on Oct 9, 2009 9:38 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Eh, Michigan State? i’ll accept it, since they accepted me
by PiKAgiant on Oct 9, 2009 12:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Cardinals now have their very own Jose Cruz Jr. – His name is Matt Holliday
"Don't trust anyone under the age of 30" - Brian Sabean
by Smotheredinhugs on Oct 9, 2009 5:16 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Matt Holiday joke
I don't know anything about minor league players, so I adopted the Coke Bottle, and it's totally grown on me.
Get rid of Bochy and Sabean, it's time for something new.
by ringleader3 on Oct 9, 2009 7:59 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Seriously this thread sucks and makes me :(
"Being a McCoven is like being a member of the Green party. It’s powerlessness is part of the appeal." - oldjacket
by scout6 on Oct 9, 2009 10:35 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
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