Surviving the Offseason

It begins.

This...

Jason Bay, LF, Red Sox - Could he wind up in the City by the Bay? Giants GM Brian Sabean is looking for a big bat and will spend for someone like Bay or Holliday.

...is a standard player-meets-team-with-need-and-money kind of speculation. Even Peter King is about to write an article about the Giants' need for Bay or Holliday. But then that turns into this:

...and the accompanying story reads:

The San Francisco Giants want to add a player with a big bat this off-season and the word is that the Boston Red Sox's Jason Bay will be the prime target, according to the Boston Globe.

The Giants, who've needed a big offensive threat ever since Barry Bonds receded into the fog, are apparently ready to open their wallet for a fella like Bay or Matt Holliday, both of whom will be free agents soon enough.

Naturally, that leads to this:

Jason Bay just called my friend, who works in real estate, and asked if there were any "bazillion-dollar homes for sale in the Bay Area." Bay then said, "Yeah, I'm specifically looking for a bazillion-dollar home because the Giants are going to offer me two bazillion dollars, and then I'll have a bazillion left over."

That last source was impeccable, so I'm spending my time thinking of witty headlines. "Jason comes to Fog City!" "City by the Jason!" Something like that.

I hate the offseason. I mean, I love it because I'm a chronic rosterbator. I love the Rule 5 draft. I love the Winter Meetings. But I hate the post-Zito offseason focus on the Giants and whoever is the top free agent.

C.C. Sabathia hometown discount could hometown discount his way to rotation of all-time with the Giants? Sabathia hometown Vallejo with power stuff and pitcher's ballpark hometown discount with Giants interested, even though the last time Barry Zito worst signing of all-time, Vallejo could hometown a discount into the picture. Don't count the Giants out.

Man, I'm not looking forward to that again. But it's already starting, and we aren't out of the first round of the playoffs yet.

Bay and Holliday.

Holliday and Bay.

Should the Giants? Could the Giants? Would the Giants? Opinion one way. Counterargument the other way. Graph with payroll figures. Comment from someone dry-humping UZR numbers. Rebuttal from someone still using RBI and batting average. Holliday! Bay! Should the Giants? Could the Giants? Would the Giants?

Comment starter: Offseason plans. Offseason hate. Are you planning on checking out for a while after the World Series? Have you already checked out? Do you like rosterbation? You're doing it right now, aren't you, you little scamp?

Sigh. I kind of want the Giants to play a game right now, just so I could yell at them.

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