Uribe signs minor league deal with Giants
Jon Heyman article on SI.com
about 3 years ago
aybayz
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I, for one, am pumped to have the potential of the ooooooo—-rrrreeeeebaayyyy chant back. Does anyone know if the fans did that chant for him in either Colorado or Chicago? Do we get to? Is it blasphemous against our late hero Jose?
I hereby propose his nickname be “Wrong” Uribe. I miss Jose.
Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz
by lyricalkiller on Jan 29, 2009 2:46 PM PST up reply actions
this is a good move
I still hope the Giants sign Crede, but now even if they don’t sign a real 3B, this gives them insurance if Pablo Sandoval can’t handle 3B and/or Ishikawa can’t handle being everyday player (both of which I think are somewhat likely to happen) and gives them a bench player that can play all 4 infield positions.
by FluLikeSymptoms on Jan 29, 2009 1:13 PM PST reply actions
Uribe Bench While Crede Benches Ishikawa Therefore Uribe Way Better Then Crede
by giantsrainman on Jan 29, 2009 1:42 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
In English please.
Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz
by lyricalkiller on Jan 29, 2009 2:46 PM PST up reply actions
I think he means Uribe will be a backup whereas Crede would force Sandoval to first and Ishikawa to the bench.
We're all basically Pedro Feliz.
ICU81MI? Hilarious!
why hasn’t anyone turned this comment green?
I'm spent, just can't rosterbate anymore.
I’m not sure how he’s a better option than those 2, he’s a much worse player & whilst he’ll cost less than Crede, he’s overpriced compared to his ability & i doubt Aurilia would have comanded much more money.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
He Is Only 30 And Healthy - You Are Paying Too Much Attention To Last Year
Uribe is truely basicly Pedro Feliz. Career .253/.295/.423/.306 AVG/OBP/SLG/wOBA vs Pedro’s Career .252/.290/.429/.306. Pedro is a career +19.1 UZR/150 defender at 3B while Uribe is a Career +2.3 UZR/150 defender at SS which should translate to about +7.3 at 2B and 3B. Uribe would be playing the exact role the vast majority here felt was perfect for “Happy Pete” at a very low cost. If Aurilia had been willing to accept a minor league deal I am sure the Giants would have signed him instead. But to me (putting aside my fandome for Richie) Uribe is the better choice for the Giants bench because of his defense and his ability to play Middle Infield as well as Corner Infield.
by giantsrainman on Jan 29, 2009 3:22 PM PST up reply actions
I’m not paying too much attention to last year, i’m paying attention to the last two years, where he’s been replacement level. If it was a bad year, i wouldn’t be concerned, but two years at replacement level is a reason for concern. He’s 30 & been in the league for a few years, so he’s not on the improvement stage of his career.
Uribe is certainly not basically Pedro Feliz at all. His career numbers may be similar, but he’s underperformed them by quite a bit the last few years, whereas Feliz has outperformed his. The projections all expect Feliz to outhit Uribe next year. If you look at their total value’s the last three years (so i’m even including a better uribe year) then Feliz has been worth 1.9, 3.1 & 1.5 wins above replacement. Uribe over the same time period has been worth 1.0, 0.0 & 0.1 wins above replacement. That’s a total of 6.5 wins compared to 1.1 wins. Uribe is clearly not at all like Pedro Feliz!
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
Also his power numbers got pretty significantly inflated
by playing in a hitters park.
You no love Richie?
You probably know it as MYANMAR, but it will always be BURMA to me!
by NuschlerFace on Jan 29, 2009 4:47 PM PST up reply actions
Plays not bad defense at all 3 infield positions the team was suspect at entering the off season. Makes $5M base Borass wants for Crede irrelevant. Not as fragile as Crede. As a minor league contract should not be able to whine about not having a starting role in front of the kids ( at least tell they flame out). Basically replaces Ochoa and give the Giants the no excuse to not get Burris steady play time in Fresno to start the season.
Speacking of Ochoa. I Call dibs on Urbie.
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
Upon father review the “D” at third might leave a bit to be desired ( -2.3 UZR or -4.2 UZR 150). Still lets the Giants shift in a more sure handed glove at 3rd base in close late inning games wit out having to pull Sandoval.
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
I was wondering when we would see the first “oh, no! Bochy is going to play him everyday and have him pitch out of the bullpen three times a week!” kind of comment.
by FluLikeSymptoms on Jan 29, 2009 1:42 PM PST up reply actions
certainly seems possible, given Uribe’s track record as an “established player”. Heck, he’s more established than Jose Castillo was
by NeifiChicken on Jan 29, 2009 1:54 PM PST up reply actions
we're talking about Bruce Bochy...
It’s a pretty legitimate concern…
He’s no Feliz.
Matt Cain: throwing complete game shutouts since 06'. No big deal.
by cain1rstballothof on Jan 29, 2009 2:04 PM PST reply actions
Very dissapointing
Seems to copy perfectly the Castillo signing from last year, which is to sign a worthless veteran to suck up at-bats that could be better used elsewhere. I really can’t see any point of this signing whatsoever, he’s not been any better than replacement the last 2 years (well actually worth 0.1 win over the 2 years combined) & we could have got that performance from a number of players. In theory it’s not the end of the world as it’s only a minor league deal but i just don’t see any upside to this & any playing time he gets seems a waste.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
He is signing is as a backup. He could give Bochy some flexibility with his infield and some RH pop off the bench.
He does add flexibility, although we still had some with Frandsen capable of playing 3B or SS (at a pinch) If Uribe was a good defender then i could understand him being useful, but he doesn’t seem to be anymore. And i’m not sure a sub .400 SLG classes as RH pop off the bench. We could have got far better RH pop off the bench with Phelps, Aurilia or McClain.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
He’s backing up SS and 3rd. He’s a good glove at both positions.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
Is he though? He used to be a good glove, in which case i wouldn’t have minded the signing, but he seems to have been below average with the glove the last 2 years. Given his poor offense that makes him a pretty worthless player.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
He was about average the last two years by UZR and +5-8 the three years previous.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
I just toook the UZR from fangraphs which was -1.8 & -1.1 the last couple of years, so it’s below average, but basically average you’re right. Obviously he played multiple positions so it’s difficult to tell how he faired last year, although of course it’s worth noting that he basically played no SS last year.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
No
This is actually the flip side of the shortstop debacle from last year. The plan was Vizquel as the starter. It didn’t work for reasons of performance and injury. So we fumbled around in the dark with our Bocock and finally settled on Manny. We didn’t have someone who was hitting like a major league shortstop for a full four months of the year.
If Sandoval doesn’t work out at third (I ONLY THINK THIS IS POSSIBLE BECAUSE HE IS FAT BY THE WAY), then we need that extra guy in Fresno as a backup plan. That’s all Uribe is.
GROUGTHINK ALERT
Yeah, i don’t mind us having backup options in case things don’t work out, but i felt that we seemed to have options unlike last year when we didn’t have anybody. If it turns out that he’s just an extra guy in Fresno, then i won’t be bothered by it, but i find that very hard to believe. Also, if Sandoval doesn’t work out, which he may well not, then is Uribe a better backup option than Guzman, McClain or Rohlinger would have provided? I’m not sold on the options we have, but when the bar is only set at replacement level, i’m confident we could have at least equalled it with in-house options, most of which have far more upside than Uribe.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
Can any of those dudes play shortstop?
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
Yeah they all can, just very badly ;) I was replying to the question as to him being a backup option in Fresno in case Sandoval doesn’t work out. With regards to Shortstop, the obvious backup would be Burriss. Now if he’s in Fresno, then we’re short of a backup on the 25 man roster, but it’d only be for short term situations, in which Frandsen would be able to fill in.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
where is the dowside to Uribe?
is Uribe a better backup option than Guzman, McClain or Rohlinger would have provided?
Absolutely. McClain is not a MLB player (I love the guy too, but come on), Rohlinger is not a highly regarded prospect and is not MLB ready, and who the hell know about Guzman. If it turns out we don’t need Uribe, he just won’t make the team, and if he does make the team, it costs us a million dollars which is completely unimportant (in this relative context).
by FluLikeSymptoms on Jan 29, 2009 2:59 PM PST up reply actions
Well i guess i’ll have to agree to disagree on that one then. I’m not bullish on McClain, Rohlinger or Guzman, don’t get me wrong, but i’m reasonably confident that we could get close to replacement level performance from one of them, which is the level Uribe is at.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
With regards to downside, there theoretically isn’t one, just as there wasn’t one with the Castillo signing last year. The problem is, we aren’t in a vacuum, and so there’s two downsides. If playing time was dished out fairly & completely on performance, then it’d be alright, but as i’m very skeptical of that being the case, it’s an understandable concern that he’ll play decent amount of time, when potentially better players could be playing.The second is that when you’re talking about a player of Uribe’s low level & no upside, it’s more advantagous to have a younger player with more upside taking the playing time, even if they may struggle to the same degree.
Like i say, in theory it’s a low risk move, that shouldn’t concern, but in practice, i’m left with the same feeling i had when Castillo was picked up & that is dissapointment.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
as much as it is fashionable to hate Castillo around here, what harm did his time with the Giants do? Perhaps it cost Aurilia some playing time, but what does that matter? Maybe it cost McCalin a chance to be called up a few months earlier, which sucks for McClain, but also means nothing to the Giants. For almost all of the time that Castillo was playing every day Rohlinger was playing at A-ball and Sandoval was catching in A-ball so it would be an enormous reach to claim that he blocked either of them.
If Guzman has a great year and shows himself to be MLB ready, I have no concern at all that Juan Uribe will end up blocking him.
by FluLikeSymptoms on Jan 29, 2009 3:27 PM PST up reply actions
Well i meant to mention earlier, that the situation is slightly different to Castillo’s as you’re correct. Whilst having him on the team wasn’t pleasant, it didn’t really do any damage as you’re right, there was nobody deserving of those at-bats. There’s nothing wrong with signing a filler when there’s no-one to give the at-bats to.
The difference with Uribe is that their are others to give the at-bats to. At SS there’s Renteria & Burriss, at 2B there’s Frandsen, Velez & Burriss & at 3B there’s Sandoval, Guzman & Rohlinger (who i’m not i’m not saying is great, but has more upside than Uribe & is in the high minors) If there weren’t in-house options (like last year) then it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but as there certainly are (in my opinion) then it’s just seems a waste of money (potentially) and development.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
So we fumbled around in the dark with our Bocock
Having fun with Bocock’s name never gets old.
My adopted Giant: "Raptor Jesus" Guzman
But it can grow on you.
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
by daveinexile on Jan 30, 2009 11:34 AM PST up reply actions
I hope it's not too large
That’s not what she said!
I’ll ban myself.
Don't think, it could only hurt the ballclub.
Now you’re just making up acronyms to mess with me, and I don’t appreciate it.
by Grant Brisbee on Jan 29, 2009 7:19 PM PST up reply actions
We want the green guy, don’t we? Don’t we? Hello……
//crickets//
Sergio Romo: striking out professional hitters since 2005.
We want the Green Man!
Definitions for the graph, since they might be unclear for some.
wRAA700 – Batting runs pro-rated to 700 PAs. wRAA is also park adjusted.
bUZR700 – Defensive runs saved pro-rated to 700 PAs. This also includes a positional adjustment for position.
ODP700 – Total player value. The combination of offense and defense.
Rep.700 – Replacement level per 700 PAs. Currently set to 22.5 runs. Replacement level is the theoretical level of freely available talent. Think of AAA types or waiver wire fodder. Players that can be easily acquired for little resources.
/ groans
why try and ruin a perfectly good friday?
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
Highest single-season home run totals by Giants in camp
27, Rowand (2007)
24, Rowand (2004)
23, Uribe (2004)
21, Uribe (2006)
20, Uribe (2007)
20, Phelps (2003)
20, Winn (2005)
It just occurred to me that maybe this team is a little short on power.
No pressure, Pablo and Travis, but we’re going to need you to go ahead and combine for 70 homers this season.
Sabean's strategy
It’s clear he just wants to fill the team with more of Joe Crede’s friends to get Crede to sign here.
Sign Crede and trade Molina….this way, everyone wins
From Andrew “Golf” Baggs blog
Uribe is a solid bet to make the club and back up at third, short and second base. One scenario: He could play himself into regular time at third base, perhaps starting against left-handers. As part of that plan, Pablo Sandoval would move across the diamond to first base and form a platoon with Travis Ishikawa.
The Giants aren’t done, though. They attended a workout for third baseman Joe Crede and still could sign him to a one-year contract. Uribe played third base last season for the Chicago White Sox when Crede went down with a back injury.
Uribe’s presence dims the chances that Rich Aurilia will return as a backup infielder, but doesn’t eliminate them entirely. One other impact: Uribe would give the Giants a true backup shortstop to Edgar Renteria, which would allow them to send Emmanuel Burriss to the minors for everyday at-bats. Burriss, for all the strides he made last season, still needs seasoning.
He could play himself into regular time at third base, perhaps starting against left-handers. As part of that plan, Pablo Sandoval would move across the diamond to first base and form a platoon with Travis Ishikawa.
no.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
I really doubt that Uribe is going to “play himself” into regular time in that fashion. I think the most likely way he winds up with regular playing time is if Sandoval and/or Ishikawa play him into it by sucking at 3B or hitting .230 for the first 6 weeks of the season respectively.
by FluLikeSymptoms on Jan 29, 2009 5:29 PM PST up reply actions
It Means "Just" Against Lefties
Offensively the platoon would be Ishikawa plays against righties while Uribe plays against lefties. The defensive alignment would be Ishikawa at 1B and Sandoval at 3B against righties platooning with Sandoval at 1B and Uribe at 3B against lefties. i see nothing wrong with this if Ishikawa struggle against lefties.
by giantsrainman on Jan 29, 2009 5:32 PM PST up reply actions
You just know Ishikawa or Frandsen is going to struggle at some point & Bochy is going to play Uribe instead as we need the veteran influence, ignoring of course the fact that Uribe isn’t any better than a struggling Ishikawa/Frandsen.
Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!
gore51 said
What does the nation think of this signing? How does he fit? Does this mean Aurilia is surely out of here. At least it gives us another under-30 players. Seems to be cheap, it says it is only a one year minor league contract. Check it out
i thought it was “horde”
Castillo got the DFA. Guestimate for Castillo DFA to come before the 2009 season = 2.
/ nods nods
Why do what everyone else does? Besides what do Hordes do? Take down Nations and Empires. I approve of that attitude.
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
by daveinexile on Jan 30, 2009 11:29 AM PST up reply actions
Going for it all this season!
The Grizzlies have got to be hands-down favorites to win the PCL with all the AAAA talent the Giants have acquired this offseason. Phelps, Uribe, Andres Torres, Brandon Medders, Justin Miller…
Adoptive father to the All-Father. Does that make me the All-Grandfather?
they will need another 30 HR season out of Scott McClain and a turnaround from Jesse Foppert.
by FluLikeSymptoms on Jan 29, 2009 5:57 PM PST up reply actions
In all the excitement and rush of the offseason, I forgot we signed Brandon Medders and Justin Miller.
Nice backup option. This offseason has been strangely lacking in outrage for me.
Less arm, more talk. Raisingcain is a GAMER.
Adopted Giant: Henry Sosa
One ticket please.
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
by daveinexile on Jan 30, 2009 11:30 AM PST up reply actions
I’m not going to complain about a minor league deal, but I don’t like the signing. I don’t think the Giants’ are done, which means that Uribe is probably going to push someone like Frandsen out, and I don’t want this to happen. And if Uribe IS the last signing, than he’s not good enough to be the last signing. The Giants’ need to do better. Sign Crede, and keep Uribe at Fresno in case Crede’s back goes out again.
Brian Sabean's dad- will make a few phone calls to help his son find a new job after next season
Why Do You Want To Bench Ishikawa For Crede?
by giantsrainman on Jan 29, 2009 6:47 PM PST up reply actions
because I think Travis Ishikawa is the one guy who hasn’t proved anything at the major league level. You want to go into the season with sure things, not question marks. While we only saw Pablo Sandoval for less than two months, I think we did see enough to convince us that he’s a stud, especially when you combine it with the minor league season he had, and his winter league performance. Travis Ishikawa was decent after he was called up, but can anybody really say they know he’s an everyday major league first baseman, or even a major leaguer?? Before 2008 he was considered a disappointment, and I can’t blame the Giants for being cautious here. Joe Crede has proven himself as a major leaguer, the only question is his back, and as of right now he’s healthy. I think you want to eliminate all question marks if you consider yourself a contender, and first base is a huge question mark if you start the season with Travis there. It also makes third base a question mark because there is no evidence whatsoever that Pablo Sandoval can play third. Sign Crede, move Pablo to first and you’ve upgraded from a pair of maybes to two pretty sure things, especially since you now have brought in Uribe in case Crede’s back goes out again. I’m not a big Uribe guy, but if he’s insurance for Crede and he’s brought in here in place of Rich Aurilia and not along with Rich, then the move is a lot better.
Brian Sabean's dad- will make a few phone calls to help his son find a new job after next season
Body Bias!!!!!
there is no evidence whatsoever that Pablo Sandoval can play third.
haven’t you seen the UZR numbers for his 85 inning there? That is evidence man!
signed,
giantsrainman
by FluLikeSymptoms on Jan 30, 2009 11:24 AM PST up reply actions
My First Thoughts.....
So I pull up mlbtraderumors.com and see the headline “Giants Sign Juan Uribe”.
I actually say outloud, “you have to be fu**ing kidding me. I hope this is some kind of lame joke”.
Its not and I’m not happy. If you want an all glove no hit utility fielder you can almost always pull one from within the organization. Isn’t that basically what Bocock is? I don’t want a FA signing that will only turn out well if Boch limits his ABs.
Bring me the head of Barry Zito!
Keep telling yourself that.
When this guy gets 400 ABs I’m not going to be a happy Giants fan.
Bring me the head of Barry Zito!
The kids need to continue their development. They can best do this by playing everyday. They are not yet everyday MLers so playing everday in minors is good for them and the organization.
I seriously doubt Juan Uribe is good for any organization.
Bring me the head of Barry Zito!
I’m not an Uribe fan, but the Bocock comparison is really stretching it. I mean the guy has hit 20 homeruns a couple of times in the majors. I know you’re going to say he won’t hit 20 in ATT or even 10 for that matter, but Bocock wouldn’t hit two. He does give you occasional pop off of the bench, and I’m assuming the bench is mostly where he’ll be. if he somehow beats Frandsen, Velez and Burriss out of the starting second base spot, I’ll be very disappointed, but that will probably be more their fault than the team’s.
Brian Sabean's dad- will make a few phone calls to help his son find a new job after next season
I thought it was a joke too...
…but then I saw it here first. I was also sure that Grant had totally made up the Kansas City T-Bones. I still kinda think he might have, actually.
Adoptive father to the All-Father. Does that make me the All-Grandfather?
Think of it this way..
Bocock and Uribe can both hit .200. Uribe can hit 5 bombs though. Bocock can hit 5 doubles.
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
Uribe declined so sharply last 4 years or so, likely the league pitchers found his weak spots. AL hitters sometimes do better in the NL—Durham, Renteria—so his hitting stats could improve. So Travis could be byebye.
besides Aurilia, Phelps takes the biggest hit from this. If Phelps’ offense is hugely better than Juan’s during spring, and Frandsen looks OK at backup SS and 3B, maybe Phelps makes the roster. Lots of ifs there.
The minor league contract makes it easier to take. Beltre was the only 3B I wanted.
adopter/sponsor of "Go, Antoan" Richardson
Fan Psychology
Numbers and match-ups aside for a moment, I have to admit that, as much as I want to see the Giants win, it’ll be that much richer for me as a fan if it’s with players who have a story I can root for. Uribe is the ultimate retread. He bounces around MLB and is playing out the string as long as he can. Yay Juan. Giant for life, except not next year. Just to pick a stat TOTALLY for value illustration sake, I’d rather watch TI at .260 for a year than Juan at .280. Shoot, I’d much rather watch McClain backup at 3rd and first and bat .255 than Juan at .280. Those are players whose stories I can root for. Retreat Juan? More power to him, but he’s just earning a living at this point. Does Uribe represent a magical increase for this team? I’ll take the other guys even (gasp) if that sacrifices a win or 2. At least I can root for them. Juan should ONLY get ABs if the young guys are stinking up the joint. Period.
He’s the 24/25th man on the roster. It’s not the worst thing to happen. That is, unless you enjoyed the Bochoa experience of 2008!
Speaking as the driver of the former Ochoa fan bus tricycle I endorse this statement.
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
by daveinexile on Jan 30, 2009 11:32 AM PST up reply actions
I guess I won't jump off a cliff...
I guess I’ll be annoyed if his presence on the roster is too much of a temptation for Bochy to go for his "veteran"ness… sorta like getting all the alcohol out of the house for an alcoholic…
Also, if Frandsen can back up at 3b, Burriss can back up at 2b/SS (maybe he’s on the bubble and interchangable with Uribe roster-wise at this point), Phelps can back up 1B, and even McClain can back up 3b and 1b with some pop… LOT’s of ifs… I’ll be irritated if Uribe is stealing a roster spot. But I guess that’s what spring training is for. I would just hope Sabean/Bochy would TRULY willing to send Uribe to Fresno if these other guys actually have great springs.
Frankly I would rather see Burriss in Fresno then Uribe this year.
I think there is a very real chance Burris can be more than a MLB utility infielder. But he needs the experience to polish those skills. He will not get that kind of play time on the big club unless we are accepting a 90-100 loss season, which the management isn’t planning on doing.
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
by daveinexile on Jan 30, 2009 12:41 PM PST up reply actions
Agree there
True, doens’t seem like there would be consistent or enough atbats to keep Burriss (he of how many Minor League atbats above A ball?) sharp. I guess I just don’t know how pumped to be about Frandsen’s future, assuming he wins 2B.
nickames for Juan Uribe
“not the worst thing” (thanx, xanthan)
“ultimate retread”
“wrong uribe” my fave right now, maybe it could work into a chant.
“another friend of Joe Crede”
“not Adrian Beltre, unfortunately”
how about we let Juan U. pick from the proposals on this thread only.
adopter/sponsor of "Go, Antoan" Richardson
Uribe v .02 ?
Here comes Captain Obvious wearing his Atomic Wedgie!
by daveinexile on Jan 30, 2009 12:41 PM PST up reply actions
And we got him essentially for nothing...
…so you might say, Juan 2 free.
Adoptive father to the All-Father. Does that make me the All-Grandfather?
Fred Lewis can stand under my umbrella.
31 May 2007, 21:38 EST - the last time Matteh's career W-L wasn't below.500
We are at war with Los Angeles. We have always been at war with Los Angeles.
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