OT: I found the best SF Giants blog, ever.

And this is awesome, too;

The Cincinnati Reds are trying to disband the fourth nucleus since 1990 to win the World Series after finishing with the wealthiest cluster in the majors. There bring in been a lot of encouraging performances in the assistant’ minor league system so far, and there’s a gentle breakdown here . Catcher are base running. Hitters are offense. I have retired the interior more than enough to see the tail on the board room, and I’m not going to say much more because I am facilitating my tails at the top of the post. Game over!! I think he’s got a massive ego and it’s kind of been bruised with the losing and everything else, but I think he should have taken a petite tact and perhaps kept his mouth shut. Pablo Sandoval am steal death, destroyer of worlds. Wonderful news all around for the largest part.

It’s like taking acid and then reading about the Giants.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 11:46 AM PDT 0 recs

what in the holy love of fuck

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 8, 2008 12:09 PM PDT up 0 recs

HITTERS ARE OFFENSE!!!

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 12:26 PM PDT up 0 recs

Also, notice my new sig, inspired by this great blog.

My favorite pie is (name of flavor)

^ _ ^

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 12:26 PM PDT up 0 recs

fixed

My favorite pie is ~~(name of flavor)~~ shroom flavor

Adopted brother of the AnVil / GIANTSPACE™ returns!

by SoFa King Mike on Sep 8, 2008 12:39 PM PDT up 0 recs

Catchers are baserunning!

BROCK BOND LIKES HIS MARTINIS PUNCHED IN THE FACE, NOT STIRRED.

by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Sep 8, 2008 2:30 PM PDT up 0 recs

sorry

base running!

BROCK BOND LIKES HIS MARTINIS PUNCHED IN THE FACE, NOT STIRRED.

by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Sep 8, 2008 2:31 PM PDT up 0 recs

Probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed while reading a blog. “catcher are base running.” Brilliant.
Another favorite of mine:

They retired for lap with the young "talent" he acquired, but his page evaluation skills were good weak. As I mentioned last week, “With the Cincinnati Reds’s triumph over the LA Angels, a preposterous fireworks has now returned to the World Series for the second consecutive year.”

Rafael Rodriguez: More tools than Home Depot.

by BrianBokake on Sep 8, 2008 3:28 PM PDT up 0 recs

Pablo Sandoval am steal death, destroyer of worlds.

whoever is Pablo’s adoptive parent, you better make this your sig.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Sep 8, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up 0 recs

I’m guessing that the author of that blog isn’t a native English speaker. And also that they have a really bad meth habit.

What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC

by jcb9 on Sep 8, 2008 12:42 PM PDT 0 recs

What’s your favorite pie flavor? (name of flavor)

I think it could also be one of those spam-bot type blogs, where everything is just randomly generated to draw search engine hits. Still, it’s written better than anything Bill Plaschke has ever vomited out onto paper.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 12:48 PM PDT up 0 recs

Definitely a spambot.

Consider this post by Grant here on MCC:

Every year, Tom Tango collects defensive scouting reports from the fans of a particular team. The idea is to get the impressions of people who have watched the same team 40, 50, or 162 times a year. The results often correlate with statistical measures, but there are always a few outliers. It’s a huge help to the internet baseball world to have these “Wisdom of Crowds”-style metrics as another data point by which to evaluate defenders.

So go here to read the instructions, and then fill in your ballot here.

Do it before you read the rest of the post, as I’m going to taint your opinions with my sparkling prose. The rest of the post comes in the comments section.

And this paragraph from the other blog, one day later (emphasis mine):

Any MLB club could have destroyed any other talent in a sad series, drastically one as rare as the NY Mets. They’re getting steady pitching, fun hitting and they’re making deliberate managerial decisions. Every year, Tom Tango buy defensive scouting reports from the comedian of a particular rainbow. The pushover is to promote the impressions of people who corral watched the same zone 40, 50, or 162 times a year. The results sometimes correlate with statistical measures, but there are often a few outliers. It’s a big help to the internet Giants information world to annex these " Wisdom of Crowds "-style metrics as another the writing on the wall point by which to evaluate defenders. If the Giants don’t offer phenomenal arbitration for the third year, then he’d get a scrawny $4 million termination clause. It will be concise to see what happens in these trades: 1) really, really big numbers of A level prospects; 2) a few AA and AAA can’t miss prospects with rare ceilings; 3) some third – thirteen year major leaguers that seem ready to burn their promise? Boston Red Sox by all numbers is a leader. Well, we finished with a rough wrinkle than in 2006, and things seem to not have not gotten younger — in fact, they are far more silly. So go here to read the instructions, and then fill in your ballot here . Do it before you read the rest of the post, as I’m going to taint your necessity with my sparkling prose.

Like Barry Zito, I'm mildly half-OK.

by EliminateMe on Sep 8, 2008 1:01 PM PDT up 0 recs

I can’t tell, which one is the spambot again?

(Grant burn1!!1)

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 1:06 PM PDT up 0 recs

You better cut that out, or Grant is gonna taint your necessity.

Like Barry Zito, I'm mildly half-OK.

by EliminateMe on Sep 8, 2008 1:08 PM PDT up 0 recs

Man. I wish I could turn a phrase half as well as "Every year, Tom Tango buy defensive scouting reports from the comedian of a particular rainbow. " He took my original post and made it art.

by Grant on Sep 8, 2008 1:11 PM PDT up 0 recs

Remix!

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 1:13 PM PDT up 0 recs

hot n’ fresh out tha kitchen

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 8, 2008 1:17 PM PDT up 0 recs

You know, Barry Zito’s season is remarkably like Edinson Volquez’s, just with 60 less strikeouts, fewer walks, fewer hits, and more runs given up. It’s a fine line between dominant and abysmal.

You know, Barry Zito’s season is seamlessly like Edinson Volquez’s, just with 60 less strikeouts, fewer disband, fewer slides, and more bunts given up. It’s a gentle line between dominant and abysmal.

I can’t tell which one’s Grant and which one’s the spambot!

Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com. It's not being updated right now. Hope for more at your own risk.

by groug on Sep 8, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up 0 recs

How many guesses do I get?

Like Barry Zito, I'm mildly half-OK.

by EliminateMe on Sep 8, 2008 10:24 PM PDT up 0 recs

The latest post is also a classic

Defense wins games and it’s worth money. The only question about him is where informally to play him. He’s played 3rd base throughout his collegiate career, but his contact bat and normal arm strength may gather him stronger suited for fifth teen base in the major leagues. I’m sure he’ll be an attorney favorite until the thirteen runner is thrown out at home. Don’t dismiss the Milwaukee Brewers on the basis of the American League being less agile than the National League. They need to fix that problem. all we can do is hope that Buster Posey miraculously smoke in the next 24 hours or so and he can join Gillaspie in Arizona next week, but that’s shockingly wishful thinking. It will be delightful to see what happens in these trades: 1) huge numbers of A level prospects; 2) a few AA and AAA can’t miss prospects with small ceilings; 3) some seventeen – second year major leaguers that seem ready to recover their promise? Spe. I think he’s a outstanding attorney, and very much sharp; however, I think that he is probably not playing up to the value of his earnings & the Giants gave him a slower deal than he should have been given. But how about integrating something like this: a $10 million signing bonus, a $3 million instinct the fifth season, $5 million the fourteen, $7 million the eighth and $9 million the eighteen. Then there are the grumpy Giants hitters.

by cakes on Sep 8, 2008 12:43 PM PDT 0 recs

Don’t you DARE dismiss the Brewers for the American League being less agile than the National League.

Don’t. Even. Dare.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 12:49 PM PDT up 0 recs

Grumpy Giants hitters.

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 8, 2008 1:01 PM PDT up 0 recs

This one is actually true.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 1:13 PM PDT up 0 recs

"…but I think he should have taken a petite tact and perhaps kept his mouth shut. "

This one NEVER works.

"Ain't got a hope in Hell - that's my belief." - Bon Scott

by victor frankenstein on Sep 18, 2008 5:47 AM PDT up 0 recs

I think you're an outstanding attorney

by cakes on Sep 8, 2008 2:29 PM PDT up 0 recs

his contact bat and normal arm strength may gather him stronger suited for fifth teen base in the major leagues.

I think we all known that fifth teen base is a huge area of need for the Giants

by FluLikeSymptoms on Sep 8, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up 0 recs

All your fifth teen base belong to us.

Disfrute Los Gigantes every day at www.leftymalo.com

by leftymalo on Sep 8, 2008 2:38 PM PDT up 0 recs

hey Groug

can Nate play fifth teen base?

by FluLikeSymptoms on Sep 8, 2008 3:17 PM PDT up 0 recs

Are these entries some sort of baseball related madlibs that get posted to the Interweb?

by biff pocoroba on Sep 8, 2008 1:14 PM PDT 0 recs

wow, for many years I have wondered what it would sound like if the people from Trainspotting discussed people. It’s even more awesome than I imagined.

by FluLikeSymptoms on Sep 8, 2008 2:31 PM PDT 0 recs

favorite.

“I am unswervingly excited to see Gillaspie hustle going.”

unswervingly?

BROCK BOND LIKES HIS MARTINIS PUNCHED IN THE FACE, NOT STIRRED.

by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Sep 8, 2008 2:34 PM PDT 0 recs

A guide for Sabean to restructure the Zito contract:

a $10 million signing bonus, a $3 million instinct the fifth season, $5 million the fourteen, $7 million the eighth and $9 million the eighteen

by cakes on Sep 8, 2008 3:03 PM PDT 0 recs

"...the eighteen"

-faints-

"Ain't got a hope in Hell - that's my belief." - Bon Scott

by victor frankenstein on Sep 18, 2008 5:49 AM PDT up 0 recs

does this blog

remind anyone else of the benny lava video?

Benny Lava

Dodgers fans eat their young.

by redhornet78 on Sep 8, 2008 3:08 PM PDT 0 recs

OH GOD THIS IS AMAZING.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Sep 8, 2008 4:27 PM PDT 0 recs

I’m laughing so hard I have tears.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Sep 8, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up 0 recs

Justin Smoak is the noblest fighter that was drafted. In my enigma, He is the next Mark Textiera with his switch pitching ability and he also throws for power from both sides of the plate. I think he’s an exultant fighter, and very much prudent; however, I think that he is overtly not playing up to the value of his wrinkle & the Giants gave him a plays tougher deal than he should have been given. He is a very believable defensive twenty-second baseman who might just influentially victory a gold glove at the next level.

Damn guys, now I’m really regretting the Posey pick.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Sep 8, 2008 4:32 PM PDT 0 recs

I wish I could influentially victory. I’m only good at ignorably failing.

Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com. It's not being updated right now. Hope for more at your own risk.

by groug on Sep 8, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up 0 recs

Clearly you are not the next Mark Textiera. (Is he the one that text messaging is named after?)

Like Barry Zito, I'm mildly half-OK.

by EliminateMe on Sep 8, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up 0 recs

idk my bff mark textiera?

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Sep 8, 2008 5:15 PM PDT up 0 recs

He better play up to the value of his wrinkle, dammit!

by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 8, 2008 5:50 PM PDT up 0 recs

Dammit! If only I saw this two hours ago before you made the wrinkle joke!

Seriously, this was a missed opportunity for a Bocock tie-in…

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 8, 2008 7:43 PM PDT up 0 recs

switch pitching ability!

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 8, 2008 4:35 PM PDT 0 recs

and can play 22nd base!!!!

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 8, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up 0 recs

Yeah, but can he play blernsball?

Like Barry Zito, I'm mildly half-OK.

by EliminateMe on Sep 8, 2008 4:40 PM PDT up 0 recs

Best game in the future.

It's my blarg! Quick Pitch

by can of corn on Sep 11, 2008 7:02 PM PDT up 0 recs

This sentence is amazing...

I creep everybody the same, and it’s something that I can fix if they let me fix it.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 5:35 PM PDT 0 recs

I’m pretty sure that was stolen from a howtheyscored post.

Farewell, Ray. We'll miss your smile and your sugar. Welcome, Steve Hammond "Eggs". Throw strikes.
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Sep 8, 2008 5:38 PM PDT up 0 recs

Couldn't be

Howie creeps me more than he creeps you, and he has no idea how to fix it.

Like Barry Zito, I'm mildly half-OK.

by EliminateMe on Sep 8, 2008 7:44 PM PDT up 0 recs

I can fix it if you let me fix it!

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 8, 2008 7:44 PM PDT up 0 recs

A Malkavian Giants fan who maintains a blog. Now I’ve seen everything.

Still in despair.
BRING BACK MARMOL!

by Zetsuboushita on Sep 8, 2008 5:38 PM PDT 0 recs

Also, there’s a link to a Coldplay fansite for some reason.

Farewell, Ray. We'll miss your smile and your sugar. Welcome, Steve Hammond "Eggs". Throw strikes.
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Sep 8, 2008 5:41 PM PDT 0 recs

Whoever had December 21st in the Grant plays Out of information Pool, obtain your enhancing. Open, uh, hobby thread, or something.

haha

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 5:47 PM PDT 0 recs

That is so a Grant post.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 5:47 PM PDT up 0 recs

You’re just upset that I gave the enhancing away to someone else.

by Grant on Sep 8, 2008 6:33 PM PDT up 0 recs

There’s always next year…

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 8, 2008 7:08 PM PDT up 0 recs

The absolute gurney toting of like Barry Zito fine print can’t be resolved to pitch well in a mailed context.

by Grant on Sep 8, 2008 10:35 PM PDT 0 recs

Or was it that the Giants crazy hitters innocently burned into an intimate stomach?

How true, how true.

by cakes on Sep 8, 2008 10:59 PM PDT 0 recs

Am I the only one who does this

A number of times, either working or schooling or baseballing……

I have fallen asleep while typing and start….get this…..sleep typing……

My train of though will suddenly change, and now I’m typing about how
Volkswagen Beetles should be able to run on Bacon Grease……

I can’t be the only sleep typer, can i???
The worst is when its a late night work email, and I hit send while passed out….

Tommy Lasorda HATES GIANTSBOARD.COM

by merkin on Sep 8, 2008 11:39 PM PDT 0 recs

OMG!

man..this guy doesn’t know how to write…

i read part of it and went..WT…? i can type better than that!

actually the sad part is that i make more sense to merkin than this person does and this is with my speaking of 6 degrees of separation of the most randomest things.

I will heckle you until you crack. If you're an umpire and get the call wrong be prepared for a voice that will echo in your ears.

by monkey51 on Sep 8, 2008 11:49 PM PDT up 0 recs

What in the holy hell. Unreal. Whoever is writing this is a legend.

Billy Ripken is not a fuck face

by Karlifornia on Sep 9, 2008 2:41 AM PDT 0 recs

What in fucks sake?

I mean, if it’s a bot (which, I believe, it clearly is – then WTF Is a point?

Eugeniooooooo!!!!

by FairweatherFan on Sep 9, 2008 8:49 AM PDT 0 recs

This might be my new favorite thing.

I think the site figured out why Matt Cain sucks so much

Cain continues to be a physician though.

by Gumbercules86 on Sep 9, 2008 9:57 AM PDT 0 recs

Zooperstars, they quack me up!

by Goofus on Sep 9, 2008 11:36 AM PDT 0 recs

man

Frank is looking rough these days. :(

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 9, 2008 11:49 AM PDT up 0 recs

I also like this guy:

What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC

by jcb9 on Sep 9, 2008 1:24 PM PDT up 0 recs

I’m glad to see him taking on the Dalai Lama, that guy has gotten a free pass for way too long.

by FluLikeSymptoms on Sep 9, 2008 2:32 PM PDT up 0 recs

Don’t worry about it. Soon enough, he won’t even be the real thing anymore.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 9, 2008 3:49 PM PDT up 0 recs

It's a league-wide phenomenon!

Doing some searching, I came across this post on another blog. There are links to similar, insightful commentary for other teams, and there’s even a McC mention in the comments.

by rightcenterfielder on Sep 9, 2008 12:04 PM PDT 0 recs

Is that URL really BJAYS.wordpress.com?

why yes, it is.

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 9, 2008 12:12 PM PDT up 0 recs

It kind of reminds me of really poor translation software. Take something in english, have Babelfish translate it into languageX then translate it back to english. Sometimes it’s amazing what it comes up with.

Along time ago I was making a homework assignment for the kids and wanted “match the cards” translated into Spanish for the parents. It came back as something like “incendian las tarjetas” which would mean, literally, to set the cards on fire.

by Merope on Sep 9, 2008 12:43 PM PDT 0 recs

Imagining the really confused parents shrugging and burning cards made me laugh.

Like Barry Zito, I'm mildly half-OK.

by EliminateMe on Sep 9, 2008 12:53 PM PDT up 0 recs

I once used an Babelfish to do an assignment for my Spanish class because I didn’t get around to actually doing it. Long story short, I used the French transator. I am an ass.

by chilibean_3 on Sep 9, 2008 1:18 PM PDT up 0 recs