mock trade fanposts=massive fail

by joe t on Sep 6, 2008 11:53 AM PDT

I don't know if there is another way to fail more than by posting that stuff over and over. I wonder if Brian Sabean or Bruce Bochy could fail more than this; as much as I think they fail, even they do not reach the depth of failness that these posts reach.

We should all pray to 6 pound, 8 ounce baby Jesus (or Mohammed, Buddha, Aslan, Tash, whomever it is that one prays to) that we don't trade any of our young pitchers. We should all assume that nobody wants Zito, and we should further assume that Brian Sabean desires to have Randy Winn's children. We should also snap into the great likliehood that we are going to suck really bad next year and there is no point in trying for quick fix trades of young pitchers. Making stupid moves is what got the Giants into this huge mess; the way out of it is to let the worthless contracts play themselves out (perhaps trade some towards the end of their deal for something of value) and focus on player development.

Let us all please try harder to not fail.

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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There Is Always More Then One Way To Skin A Cat

Anyone that believes there is but one way and they and they alone know that one way is actually the one being a “massive fail”.

by giantsrainman on Sep 6, 2008 12:02 PM PDT 0 recs

iawtfp

praise be to Aslan

Travis Denker can hit a little. That's why I drive his bus.

by oldjacket on Sep 6, 2008 12:03 PM PDT 0 recs

I'm With You

I hate mock trades, although I understand that some fans find it fun. Some of them are just ridiculous, and even if they make sense, most GM’s don’t have the balls to take the risks involved. It’s alot easier to sign a free agent than take a huge gamble by trading a top player. Lincecum for Rios kind of made sense considering the two team’s needs, but imagine what a disaster this would have been for the Giants’ if they had actually done this. We should really stick to discussing trades that have actually been rumored in newspapers or reputable web sites.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on Sep 6, 2008 12:07 PM PDT 0 recs

Toronto would have had a disgusting rotation

With Lincecum, Doc, Burnett, McGowan and Marcum.

by Hobbes2d on Sep 6, 2008 12:17 PM PDT up 0 recs

I don’t hate mock trade posts but most of them are rarely realistic, I hate that.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 6, 2008 12:17 PM PDT 0 recs

Very true. Probably because most people don’t know about prospects, and they horribly overvalue their own players and undervalue the other teams players.

by Hobbes2d on Sep 6, 2008 12:20 PM PDT up 0 recs

Agree. Most overvalue their own guys and undervalue the other teams players.

Just the way it is.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 6, 2008 12:24 PM PDT up 0 recs

teh Correia for David Wright?!!!\11

"I think I was the best player I ever saw"
Willie Mays, you ain't kidding

by CB30 on Sep 6, 2008 12:37 PM PDT up 0 recs

ONLY IF THEY THROW IN BELTRAN TOO

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 6, 2008 12:43 PM PDT up 0 recs

do the Giants...

really need another CF?

Flossing a dead horse

by kenshin1 on Sep 6, 2008 1:16 PM PDT up 0 recs

Then we can turn around and trade Rowand for Hanley and Uggla!

Jeez kenshin, put some thought into your posts.

Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com. It's not being updated right now. Hope for more at your own risk.

by groug on Sep 6, 2008 1:21 PM PDT up 0 recs

You know

on topic, but off tone, I was reading the other day that Florida has 18 — count ‘em 18! — players who are arb eligible this offseason and I find myself wondering if they aren’t in fact going to be a major trade player at this year’s winter meetings. More probably the Mike Jacobs than the Dan Ugglas, but they do run their club funny like out there.

Get the hell out the way Bengie, Pablito's hit the show!

by Roger on Sep 6, 2008 3:43 PM PDT up 0 recs

Yes.

Rowand needs a closer relay man.

"Ain't got a hope in Hell - that's my belief." - Bon Scott

by victor frankenstein on Sep 6, 2008 2:25 PM PDT up 0 recs

Preferably just someone he can hand the ball to, and then that guy throws it in.

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Sep 6, 2008 3:01 PM PDT up 0 recs

OMG… if Rowand played the inner outfield, then the problem of his arm would be lessened!!!

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Sep 6, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up 0 recs

Of course!

This is why we need all those CFs!

Farewell, Ray. We'll miss your smile and your sugar. Welcome, Steve Hammond "Eggs". Throw strikes.
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Sep 6, 2008 3:51 PM PDT up 0 recs

I pray to Tasch

I have a really hot wife, but left-handed people beat me up constantly.

Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Sep 6, 2008 12:17 PM PDT 0 recs

Anyone who gets bent out of shape my each and every mock trade post is probably not going to find happiness at an internet sports forum/site

Billy Ripken is not a fuck face

by Karlifornia on Sep 6, 2008 12:24 PM PDT 0 recs

if you're loking for happiness in an internet sports forum/site

you’ve been looking in the wrong place.

BROCK BOND LIKES HIS MARTINIS PUNCHED IN THE FACE, NOT STIRRED.

by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Sep 6, 2008 12:30 PM PDT up 0 recs

Everyone knows happiness is hiding behind the couch.

Sneaky fucker.

Michael Ambort: Dude hits TATERS.
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 6, 2008 12:31 PM PDT up 0 recs

Sneaky fucker? Sounds like Goofus.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 6, 2008 12:39 PM PDT up 0 recs

I thought it’s a warm gun.

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Sep 6, 2008 12:44 PM PDT up 0 recs

I thought it was a warm puppy.

Farewell, Ray. We'll miss your smile and your sugar. Welcome, Steve Hammond "Eggs". Throw strikes.
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Sep 6, 2008 12:45 PM PDT up 0 recs

A warm puppy sounds like a small hot dog.

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Sep 6, 2008 12:48 PM PDT up 0 recs

mmmmm puppy

"I think I was the best player I ever saw"
Willie Mays, you ain't kidding

by CB30 on Sep 6, 2008 12:59 PM PDT up 0 recs

Korean pride?

Dog isn’t too bad.

There are two ways to argue with a woman, and neither of them work. --Carlos Boozer

by samlet on Sep 6, 2008 2:47 PM PDT up 0 recs

its a warm, yes it is

Rafael Rodriguez: More tools than Home Depot.

by BrianBokake on Sep 6, 2008 2:21 PM PDT up 0 recs

Wow, I didn’t know joe t was capable of writing like this! I think he should be writing for McC, not Grant!!

Farewell, Ray. We'll miss your smile and your sugar. Welcome, Steve Hammond "Eggs". Throw strikes.
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Sep 6, 2008 12:46 PM PDT 0 recs

If only Brian hadn't had that historectomy...

by boonitez on Sep 6, 2008 12:52 PM PDT 0 recs

Q. What roster moves should Giants fans expect during the coming off season?

A. Mighty Cthulhu cares nothing for human recreational activities. However those who realize the club in April 2009 will essentially resemble that of late August 2008 with only cosmetic changes will be the last to be driven mad and eaten.

Fred Lewis can stand under my umbrella.
31 May 2007, 21:38 EST - the last time Matteh's career W-L wasn't below.500

by S.F. Giangst on Sep 6, 2008 2:01 PM PDT 0 recs

Cthulhu Rules

Nice HP Lovecraft reference in comparison to the Giants seasons (this and next). Truly both are a recipe for human insanity! (at least for those of us who have to watch some of these games)

My two favorite teams are the Giants, and whomever is playing the Dodgers!

by World Series or Bust on Sep 6, 2008 3:38 PM PDT 0 recs

Whatever

If a post sucks, hijack it. If somebody has half-reasonable ideas about improving the state of the team, let it ride.

by BigO on Sep 6, 2008 3:49 PM PDT 0 recs

re: Whatever

If a post fails to interest you don’t read it.

Still-proud, adoptive mama of Notgardo Alfonzo, who's back from the 50-game purgatory. He promises never to do it again. I couldn't get him to promise to hit, though. We're working on that with bribes of M&Ms, kind of like potty training.

by tk on Sep 6, 2008 9:02 PM PDT up 0 recs

Don't come around here trying to act all sensible an' stuff.

"Ain't got a hope in Hell - that's my belief." - Bon Scott

by victor frankenstein on Sep 7, 2008 3:47 AM PDT up 0 recs

That whole warm puppy / small hot dog got me thinking.
Question:
Whats the grossest food youve ever eaten?

by lincypoo i wuv u on Sep 6, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up 0 recs

Food is food.

Fred Lewis can stand under my umbrella.
31 May 2007, 21:38 EST - the last time Matteh's career W-L wasn't below.500

by S.F. Giangst on Sep 7, 2008 1:31 AM PDT up 0 recs

Probably has to be one of two things:

1) On multiple occasions, I’ve bitten into a mouthful of meat (doesn’t matter what kind), to find my teeth sinking into something that is 98% pure fat. That experience is always one of the least pleasant food experiences I can think of.

2) One time when I didn’t know what wasabi was, I thought it was some funny guacamole and put a hell of a lot of it into my mouth at one time. Now, I know exactly what wasabi is.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 7, 2008 1:41 AM PDT up 0 recs

On multiple occasions, I’ve bitten into a mouthful of meat

I had a girlfriend once that liked to do this. I had to get rid of her.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on Sep 7, 2008 8:44 AM PDT up 0 recs

Well, that’s just being close-minded.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 7, 2008 9:37 AM PDT up 0 recs

Sea Anemone, it tastes like meat flavored Chewels.

I’ve eaten lots of things that other people consider gross (fried scorpions, sea cucumber, snake, dog barbecued hatchlings on a stick, chou doufu, head cheese and various organ meats from pigs and chickens) but that was the only thing that was as gross as it seemed.

Chicken lungs are a pretty close second.

Travis Denker can hit a little. That's why I drive his bus.

by oldjacket on Sep 7, 2008 8:57 AM PDT up 0 recs