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If on an Autumn's Night a Sucker...

A chronology of events:

7:15 - Pull into the parking lot. Just as I turn off the radio, Clint Barmes gets a leadoff hit. I mutter something to the wife about how ticked off I'll be if the Rockies score three runs before we even reach the seats.

7:16 - The Rockies score three runs before we even reach the seats.

7:26 - Because I'm yuppie scum, I buy a panini instead of a hot dog. The panini uses prosciutto from the famed salt pig of Tuscany, and it's covered with a mixture of salt, salt mustard, and salt cheese. They serve it on breaded salt bread. Ten minutes into the night, I'm down $5,230, even though the tickets were free, and I'm eating a horrific sandwich. And you know the hot dogs were probably just fine.

7:49 - The Rockies score four runs

8:59 - The Rockies score six runs

8:59 - We get the hell out of there. It's the fifth inning, and the escalators haven't been switched to "descend" yet, so we have to take that MC Escher-designed ramp that declines at a .001% grade for six miles. The whole time I'm walking to the car, I'm muttering, hey, screw that game.

There was a time when I would never leave a game early. My reasoning: "Hey, one of these days, man, a team is going to come back from an eleven-run deficit, man, and the few people who stick around will be heralded as the purest fans ever." That was the late '90s. I made a lot of mistakes in the late '90s. Dropping out of college, Pets.com stock, Dave Matthews...it was rough sledding. Before last night, I don't think I'd ever left a game before the eighth inning. I used to pride myself on waiting for that once-in-a-generation, six-run comeback in the bottom of the ninth.

But it felt good to leave in the fifth inning yesterday. I didn't intend for the early departure to be some sort of personal statement, but it was. Oh, my, how it was. It wasn't a personal statement on the poor team this year, or even the poor pitching in this one particular game. It was a metaphorical middle finger to the organization for going 1-10 in games I attended this year. To this point, the Giants are 35 - 42 at home. That means they're 34-32 without me there. When I left the game, the Giants outscored the Rockies three to one.

I've paid hundreds of dollars of dollars for parking and train tickets, hundreds of dollars for lukewarm dinners, and hundreds of dollars for tickets this season, and my reward was one good game. So, yeah, I left in the fifth inning. And if I had to do it over, I would have done a little goat dance on the tickets before I burned them. I don't want this to be a "woe is me" post, so I'll just finish by writing this: Woe is me. You'd think I'd done something to deserve this kind of crappy karma, like spend hundreds of hours writing cynical and nasty things about the franchise and front office, but that's just not the case.

Comment starter: What is your personal trigger for leaving a game early? Five runs in the eighth? Six runs in the sixth? Do tell....

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I don’t think I’ve left a game early, yet. I’ve been to some blow outs when a team was down by 10 runs and it’s kinda fun because most people clear out and you can walk on down to better seats.

I remember in the early 90’s we stayed and watch a Phliies and Giants game (@ Philly) until the 16th inning. I remember Mike Jackson giving up the winning runs to the Philies. I could have made that up, but I think it was Jackson.

Last night might have tempted me to leave. I dunno.

It was a metaphorical middle finger to the organization for going 1-10 in games I attended this year.

You’re the Barry Zito of Giants fans.

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 12:11 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I remember in the 90s, when some of the bleachers had cleared out at the ’Stick, me and a friend of mine (we were still in middle school or elementary school, i forget) started yelling at Roger Cedeño, saying that he sucked or whatever, and he actually turned around… probably because he was surprised these two little kids were yelling (though not cursing) at him

Adopted Giant: Aaron King

Wearing the crown by 2011. Or at least the LOOGY hat

by baetown415 on Sep 25, 2008 12:17 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You’re the Barry Zito of Giants fans.

Or the Matt Cain.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 25, 2008 12:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

New Fanpost!

“Open Trade Grant for Prince Fielder Proposal Thread”

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 12:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

MAKE IT HAPPEN, SABES!

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 12:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You’re the Barry Zito of Giants fans.

by Grant on Sep 25, 2008 1:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I was at the game last night, and left at the 7th inning stretch. I guess that game overall was my personal trigger. Doesn’t help that the game was absolutely meaningless, besides the historical connotations. First time I’d ever left a baseball game before the end and I’ve seen many awful ones.

Keiichi Yabu: Leading your San Francisco Giants in triple plays induced

by BaysideBaller on Sep 25, 2008 12:11 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I too was at last night's game

But I stayed for the whole (well I don’t have a good descriptor) game. I did get up in the 5th which seemed to take forever to get to, cos my bladder is not what it used to be. (TMI definitely) The 7th seemed like it would never arrive. The seagulls know how long games take and started hovering.
All in all I’ve never experienced a game quite like it.

I’ve only left earlier once, I had to work nights (11pm) as not to be late, then I figured I could just use an hour of vacation to cover that time if needed.

by timmeh on Sep 26, 2008 3:21 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I am still stuck in the '90s

I’ve never ever left a game early. I’ve watched some terrible terrible games and i’ve still never left. I don’t know if I even have that trigger.

Mischievously implosive purple pitching staff.

by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Sep 25, 2008 12:12 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You are not allowed to go to a Giants game ever again.

EVER AGAIN!

As to your question: If the team is trailing by a bunch and they are still walking people, I will scream curse words at the field from where ever I am sitting and leave.

by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 25, 2008 12:14 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Unless you are in a luxury box.

Please don’t tell me our ace in the hole has been compromised.

Hector Sanchez: really getting tired of playing baseball in foreign countries...

by tedfordfan on Sep 25, 2008 12:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I've never left a Giants game early

And I’ve been rewarded once with a ninth-inning comeback (I forget the night… I just remember the other team’s [Nats? Expos? Whoever Brad Wilkerson was with] outfielder tried to stop the winning run at home but threw the ball maybe 20 feet above the catcher; someone help me out here?)

I have left college football games early (I go to Baylor University) back when I was into college football, and most of the time it was out of disgust at the Baylor Football team. Especially bad was when Vince Young came to Baylor during his final season and Texas completely obliterated, no questions destroyed the team…. I stopped on my way out to catch a final glimpse of the game, and they scored another touchdown

Back to last night’s game though…. damn, that was depressing. more depressing than writing a postmodernism literature essay like i tried to do last night

Adopted Giant: Aaron King

Wearing the crown by 2011. Or at least the LOOGY hat

by baetown415 on Sep 25, 2008 12:14 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Tuesday was the first time I’ve left with the escalators not turned to descend. I couldn’t understand who would be coming IN after the 6th inning. Who gets TO the game in the 6th inning? I left after they pulled Tim, gave up 2 more of his runners and couldn’t score a single run in the bottom of that inning. I’d had enough.

by robbgin on Sep 25, 2008 12:23 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don’t remember the last time I left early. If anything it is a lot easier to get out of the parking lot at the end of a blow-out because most people have left early.

I have been rewarded by three comebacks in two games this year. The first was against the Tigers. John Bowker, back when he was our future, hit a three run dinger in the eighth to put us ahead. The second being the first of the back-to-back comeback victories against the Dodgers in August. We came back twice in this game including right after Jeff Kent homered in the 10th. One of the best games I have ever been too. Also helped that I had Dodger fan relatives from down south up to see the game with me.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

by WilliamVanLandingham on Sep 25, 2008 12:24 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A Panini? Talk about elitist

Adopted Son: Brad Hennessey. Beloved for a stolen base much like Dave Roberts

by AndYourBirdCanSing on Sep 25, 2008 12:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Also, I’ve never left a game early even though I’ve been tempted this summer during a Zito start.

Adopted Son: Brad Hennessey. Beloved for a stolen base much like Dave Roberts

by AndYourBirdCanSing on Sep 25, 2008 12:28 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ever since I got to see Robby Thompson’s walkoff vs. the Marlins in ‘93, I’ve been in the mindset to never leave a game early. That being said, last night’s game would’ve left me tempted to do so if I had to get up early the next morning.

Otherwise, I would probably stick around to see how comically awful it could get.

by rightcenterfielder on Sep 25, 2008 12:29 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

ten run rule

like in little league. Or the Olympics.

"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."

by i did my job on Sep 25, 2008 12:30 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I left early several times at the Stick, because

the conditions also sucked in addition to the game, and it was too cold there to watch bad baseball. Now, it costs so much to go see a game at Phone Booth Park, that I find myself either staying because I paid too much to leave (through the 2006 season); or not going at all now because it costs too much to risk that kind of cash on at best a 50-50 team.

Watching bad pitching on a sub-.500 team and shelling out over $100 isn’t in my DNA unless I know the pitcher is worth it, which is why Tuesday was so hard to take.

NO, we're not trading Matt Cain! What's that you say? We are? Armageddon is upon us!

by Buck Henry on Sep 25, 2008 12:30 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I get to go to Giants games like once ever three years, so no, I never leave in the middle.

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Sep 25, 2008 12:33 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

If the last game I went to is any indication, I leave when I get kicked out.

ProTip: Don’t happen to sit next to old people if you plan on getting drunk and swearing a lot. Apparently, the elderly have some pretty jacked up notions about freedom. The game was on the 4th of July, no less.

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Sep 25, 2008 12:41 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I always thought that Marcello was such a nice young boy. Turns out I was wrong.

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 12:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah, I’m usually a nice guy, at least in person, but who knew alcohol can make you act out? My buddy and I were actually warned that we were swearing too much by an usher and that we would be kicked out if we kept it up. All I could think to say was, “Are you fucking kidding me?” Yeah…she wasn’t.

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Sep 25, 2008 1:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Rude ass bitches

At the Stanford/San Jose State football game last weekend we were shushed for pounding on the metal bleachers by an uppity Spartans fan. The reason? “My mother in law has a headache. Pounding on the bleachers is unnecessary.” Better tell the entire brass section of both bands, the PA announcer, and the other 50000 or so fans in the stadium because they were making a hell of a lot more noise than we were.

Jesus Christ, lady, you honestly expect there NOT to be noise at a sporting event? We weren’t even being profane. I was just yelling at the Spartans’ QB for thinking he was Michael Vick but failing miserably. I almost wish I had a bottle of asprin in my purse, because I would have offered them in a sarcastic manner.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I also told her that if they didn’t want me to swear they shouldn’t have given me beer. None of this, “you can dip your foot in the pool” garbage.

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Sep 25, 2008 4:35 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You never been kicked outta NOTHIN'

‘til you been kicked outta Az. SnakePit!
  I’ve never physically left a game early that I attended.

  I’ve viciously snapped off the TV/radio hundreds of times. They’re both a little pissed about it.

   When I lived in the Bay Area circa 1970 I used to listen to KSFO night games and if we were down I’d wait until the second out in the ninth to turn it off…then after about twenty minutes curiosity would drive me to turn it back on again , and usually the results were as expected.

Usually.

ONCE we scored seven runs and beat the Bums. I still regret missing that.

"Ain't got a hope in Hell - that's my belief." - Bon Scott

by victor frankenstein on Sep 25, 2008 5:28 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

GET OFF delorean’S LAWN!!!

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 25, 2008 12:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

SPEAK UP

AND TURN UP THE HEAT, I’M FREEZING OVER HERE

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 25, 2008 1:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

WRONG!

Turn down the heat. Cold builds character.

The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!

by WalrusMan on Sep 25, 2008 2:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yes.

The last time I left a game early, we got kicked out for smoking. What, I said, we’re outside!

by satyricrash on Sep 25, 2008 2:02 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I think watching the team flail uselessly at Livan Hernandez’s flat, slow crapball (he only throws the one pitch these days) would be a pretty good trigger.

Other than that, I don’t know. It would have to be something exceptionally disgusting. I’m still young enough to be a ninth inning idealist.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 25, 2008 12:43 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Once left a Dodger blowout of the Giants in LA early. Dodgers were winning by 10 runs or so and my driver looked at me and asked “Ready?”

by wilriv21 on Sep 25, 2008 12:44 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

So you just left with the crowd, then?

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 25, 2008 12:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The only time I’ve left Phone Bill Park early was… earlier this year, at that preseason game against the Mariners.

My brother and I were sitting in section 311, which should tell you who I got the tickets from. It was a cold night, of course – I felt fine but he was decked out in his oh-so-stylish-but-so-not-fit-for-a-night-game black yuppie overcoat, and he was freezing his ass off.

The crowd was sparse, and the G’s played like dogshit. Matt Cain was getting lit up by perennial MVP candidate Yuniesky Betancourt, who tagged him for five RBIs in two ABs. I just shook my head and lamented the truly wretched season we all knew was coming.

So, we got our lamenting and freezing asses out of there after the sixth inning.

Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Sep 25, 2008 12:47 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I’ve only left one Giants game before it was over, and that was during the crazy game against the D-Backs (2001?) where they lost 1-0 in 18 innings. I had to leave in the bottom of the 14th inning to catch the last BART train. Other than that, I usually stick it out, no matter how much the Giants may be playing like ass.

Also: nice job working an Italo Calvino shout-out into your title, Grant.

No, my Crazy Crab bobblehead is not for sale.

by Kitspool on Sep 25, 2008 12:48 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Calvino FTW

But can he play third base?

Scott McClain: Great story, no place on the 2009 Giants.

by EliminateMe on Sep 25, 2008 5:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'll leave early sometimes

Mostly beacause if they’re playing so wretchedly [which they usually do when I attend (I haven’t attended a win in about 5 years at least)], I don’t see any reason to subject myself to it for longer than necessary. I usually won’t leave any earlier than the 8th…

For a general rule, I’d say down by more than 3 in the 9th, depending on how bad they’ve played thus far, I have no qualms about leaving an inning early.

One sort-of-applicable-but-humerous story, I attended Barry’s #755 HR game at Whale’s Vagina, which went into extras. I was visiting a buddy down there and he came with us. He hates baseball and was giving the heavy ::sigh:: around the 4th inning. Once they got through the 10th, he pretty much insisted that we leave. So we did, and the Giants promptly lost it in the next inning or two. Still…it upset me to see a game of that significance and leave early in extras.

Then of course, there was the game at Mays Field this year when we actually scored a few runs off Maddox (while Cain pitched, no less)—the same game as Castle’s triple play. Then they Giants proceded to walk in the winning run in like the 14th inning. It upsets me to put that much time and emotion into a game only to see them lose like that.

STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.

by UnleashTheGore on Sep 25, 2008 1:06 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I’m a total Real Fans Don’t Leave Early Glare At Folks Leaving In The Eighth Inning kind of guy. I’ve left three games early in my life:

- In the mid-80s, when I was about 5 or 6 and while living in Princeton, NJ, we went to a Yankees game. Ron Guidry was pitching, but I don’t remember who they were playing. The game dragged on…and on. We finally decided to leave, as there was a long drive home. We got all the way back to Princeton and the game was STILL going.

- In the late 80s, there was a Giants-Dodgers doubleheader at the ’Stick. The Dodgers crushed the Giants in both games, and the fans were going nuts. Dozens were ejected for brawling, some fans tried to climb over the outfield fence, and so on. We ended up leaving midway through the second game because we were concerned for our safety. It was after that game that they started placing limits on how many beers you could buy at once, etc.

- In 1996, I got a free ticket from sfgiants.com in exchange for filling out a survey, so I used it to go to a doubleheader against the Pirates. The Pirates crushed the Giants in both games, and Kim Batiste was due up in the bottom of the ninth of the second game. I couldn’t stand to watch.

As I’ve mentioned before, I once stayed through an 18-inning, 1-0 loss against Arizona in 2001 – even though it meant missing the last train of the night back to the East Bay and having a few hours to kill before they started up again. I’m that stubborn.

What man? Which man? Who’s the man? When’s a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically I am. - FotC

by jcb9 on Sep 25, 2008 1:11 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I never leave early, but then again, I am there with a 4. y.o. so I’m not watching the game anyway. BUT I SALUTE YOU Grant for leaving a blow out early.

FIRE BRIAN SABEAN

by zenbitz on Sep 25, 2008 1:19 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

If it’s a weeknight game, I have to leave around the seventh inning because it’s an hour ride back on BART and I have work the next day. Stupid work.

I have left early aside from those instances. One Dodger game last year, after watching the Giants get their asses beat for about seven innings and being stuck in a group of Dodger fans in the bleachers, we decided just to bail. If I’d stayed I would have punched somebody in the face there, and I didn’t bring bail money.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:25 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah, there’s nothing worse than being in OUR park, surrounded by Dodger fans, when we are getting our asses kicked by da bums.

by Jakespaar on Sep 25, 2008 4:52 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

that MC Escher-designed ramp that declines at a .001% grade for six miles.


Such a smooth decline that a couple times I’ve thought I took the turn too sharply & walked back up the same way I just came.

Growing up with a Dodger fan for a father, I’ve left a few games early at the Stick & the Latrine. I’m living in Dallas now, so I get to one or two games a year (either in Houston or SF) so I stick it out. I almost missed my flight back last year when Winn hit a GS to take us into extra innings against the Dodgers. Non-Giants games I’ll leave if it’s a blowout.

And before you rip Pops, he has gone on record as saying SF was his favorite city & always talks about moving back. He also always defends Barry. Go figure.

Don't think, it could only hurt the ballclub.

by ResDog on Sep 25, 2008 1:31 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Massive Fail

Don't think, it could only hurt the ballclub.

by ResDog on Sep 25, 2008 1:32 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How did your dad end up a Dodger fan from SF who defends Barry?

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:33 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Avoid the ramp

I never take it. It’s easier to go out the CF exit via the bleachers or the steps.

"[Greg] Vaughn is in a funk so deep, George Clinton wearing a miner's helmet couldn't find him."
- Jim Baker, ESPN.com, May 2002

by achiappanza on Sep 25, 2008 3:30 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yea..

Usually I’d use the CF exit or the RF exit with stairs.

The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!

by WalrusMan on Sep 25, 2008 3:51 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Screw leaving early...I just don't show up to begin with.

Number of Giants home games since my self-imposed boycott: 77 Games

Boycott constitutes:
NO merchandise purchases (typically $200-300 a year spent on hats, jerseys, rubber chickens, and other kitsch).

NO ticket purchases, parking passes, and ballpark tours (average of 6-10 games and 1 tour per year; approx. $700 on tickets/tours and $160 in parking)

NO polish snassages, Cha Cha Bowls, overpriced mixed drinks, or suitably priced Anchor Steams (average food/booze tab in previous years was in the range of $50-60 per game)

Total savings for ’08 season: Approx. $1,550

Percentage of “savings” spent on hookers, blow, anti-depressants, alcohol rehab program, pornography, and video games: 100%

Boycott will remain in effect until one Brian Sabean is relieved from his GM duties and removed from the organization entirely.

Omar...I'm done with you. Hello Darren Ford! Come to papa.

by PacBellBoozer on Sep 25, 2008 1:34 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Suckers pay for porn

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Or provide material for porn.

by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 25, 2008 1:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

True, though

I’m part small group of friends. We write explicit smut stories and swap them around the group. It’s like a quilting bee but much dirtier. It sure beats paying for porn.

Though I suppose that works better for women since men usually don’t go for dirty stories as much.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I would write the best porn

HERE BOOBS WERE AWESOME AND HIS 12 FOOT YUM ROCKET WAS PRIMED FOR BLASTOFF.

/writes

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 1:43 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

HERE = HER

MY LITERARY CAREER IS IN SHAMBLES

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 1:43 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That was Judy Steffes porn.

by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 25, 2008 1:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THE CHURCH ECHOED WITH SOUNDS OF OUR ECSTASY

by satyricrash on Sep 25, 2008 2:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

hot

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:54 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

What is a person going to do with a 12 foot yum rocket?!

That would be utterly useless.

by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 25, 2008 1:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

XANTHAN: NEW WEINER?

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 2:05 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Although the porn circle is an interesting concept, there are enough free sites out there that one should never pay for porn.

by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 25, 2008 1:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I want the porn rhombus!

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 1:45 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You would, dirty heathen.

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Sep 25, 2008 1:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Can I have one of those?

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:56 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Though I suppose that works better for women since men usually don’t go for dirty stories as much.

More so than that, I don’t really want to read a dirty story a male friend wrote. I just don’t think I want to know them that well.

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Sep 25, 2008 1:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

HIS LONG, ELEPHANT LIKE PHALLUS MOVED IN THE WIND, QUIVERING IN THE MOONLIGHT. HER BOOBS WERE AWESOME.

THIS WAS GOING TO BE A HOT NIGHT IN KROGER

/writes

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 1:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I said share not scare!

A very amusing Friends episode deals with the differences between women being open about sexuality with one another, but how the same topic scares the bejesus out of men, with other men.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:56 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

a 1...a 2...

4….2….6….2…5….7…7…7…7! 7! 7!

STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.

by UnleashTheGore on Sep 25, 2008 3:28 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

lol

Still in despair.
BRING BACK MARMOL!

2008 Season in Summary: We haven't had a twenty-first baseman all year. How did that happen? Silly. It's almos.

by Zetsuboushita on Sep 25, 2008 4:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dave Matthews eh?

I made that mistake to. There are still days where I here a familiar beat and start singing, but then I remind myself that that’s college-me trying to talk to a girl. ;)

Jonathan Sanchez. He's left-handed, like Barry Zito. His fastball breaks 80, unlike Zito.

by Aadik on Sep 25, 2008 1:44 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I made a mistake of listening to him once

the song was quickly switched.

STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.

by UnleashTheGore on Sep 25, 2008 1:51 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I never made that mistake! I always knew he was awful!

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 25, 2008 2:01 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

In other news

D-backs are officially fubared: they’re down 10-3 in the 7th. When that game ends, LA wins the west.

Eh, whatever. I didn’t want to see those peckerjerks celebrate on our field anyway.

Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Sep 25, 2008 1:52 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Excellent

Now will the Giants round file the plan to pitch Lincecum on the final day?

by Lars The Wanderer on Sep 25, 2008 1:53 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Nah, someone think of the potential season ticket purchases!

#1 JUDY STEFFES FAN
My favorite pie is (name of pie flavor)
Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Sep 25, 2008 1:54 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I spit on them

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Sep 25, 2008 1:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

At least there’s no champagne-popping celebration here. Hell, they may not even get one, unless they want to do it before tonight’s game while “Oprah” is on. Anti-climax 4 teh win!

No, my Crazy Crab bobblehead is not for sale.

by Kitspool on Sep 25, 2008 1:56 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.

by jponry on Sep 25, 2008 2:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THEY’RE ALL AGAINST US

by satyricrash on Sep 25, 2008 2:10 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

sigh

how I wanted another Brian Johnson moment.

STEVE HOLM! refuses to be the odd man out.

by UnleashTheGore on Sep 25, 2008 3:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I leave when I damn well feel like it, i.e., when Zito is getting shelled

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 25, 2008 1:58 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

+1

I will be doing exactly this in about 6 hours.

I’m surprised how many people say they have NEVER left a game early. I guess I’m just not that gamer.

by RotoHead on Sep 25, 2008 2:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Nah

I just don’t get to go to that many games. Maybe 25 for my life. So when I do ever go to game, I really don’t want to waste it. Even an extra half hour of suck at AT&T is totally worth it when you don’t get that often.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 25, 2008 3:06 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yea..

I’m with howwie, that I don’t get to many games so when I get to it I’ll stay. The Barry Bonds ejection “riot” game against the Rockies we were way down against was fairly empty, but my dad and I just spread apart a bit and put our feet up since there was room.

The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!

by WalrusMan on Sep 25, 2008 3:52 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Earlier in the season I was living about a block from the ballpark. I was running a little late for a game and by the time I was ready to leave my apartment Zito had given up something like 7 runs in the first inning. I decided to find something else to do that day.

Speed, defense... and an almost fanatical devotion to getting picked off.

by SF Pete on Sep 25, 2008 3:05 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The only game I’ve ever left early happened to be a Lincecum start, this one to be specific. After Bochy sent Lincecum back out in the 7th (wherein Ryan Braun promptly hit a home run off of him), I had enough. In my defense, i was trying to make it to the San Jose Giants game that started at 6. (I didn’t make it)

There amass been plenty of articles written this spring about the stud shortstop Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum , as well as the fluid young outfielders and thirteen basemen Kevin Frandsen.
comics | cartoons | Nattowear | McFAQ

by Natto on Sep 25, 2008 2:02 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The two times I have left early:

Game against the Phillies a few years ago where the Giants blew a big lead and then Benito Santiago had a passed ball that allowed JIM THOME to advance two bases. I was so angry, I got up and left.

Then the meetup game this year because I had to get up early the next morning to fly to Atlanta. And Baron had to leave anyway. :(

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
PABLO SANDOVAL AM STEAL DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.

by jponry on Sep 25, 2008 2:37 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

D-backs lose 12-3

Anagram of “Rocky, undoubted seasick” = SUCK IT D-BACKS, YOU’RE DONE

Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Sep 25, 2008 2:46 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don’t leave games early if I care about the teams playing, ever since my dad wouldn’t let me leave this game with the Giants trailing 10-2. Even though the Giants fell short in their comeback, it was a hell of a game, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been as excited as I was as a 13-year old kid seeing Ernest Riles hit a pinch-hit grand slam off Doc Gooden. However, when I was in San Diego, I would often get free tickets from buddies that worked for the team, and I’m not ashamed to admit I left early from quite a few Padres-Expos tilts or their equivalents.

by dmunk on Sep 25, 2008 2:52 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh..

So I guess it wasn’t Grant who got that foul ball in the 9th inning.

Pussy.

The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!

by WalrusMan on Sep 25, 2008 2:58 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

We never leave early

…unless to head off to a club show. Did that a few times this season.

Was tempted last night though. Thanks for keeping us in the game
Nate. Four more to go.

I’ll miss grinding my pelvis in the Erin eSurance turnstile every night
as I leave the park.

by bgunn on Sep 25, 2008 3:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

-Those long ass night games when it is 10:00 and it seems like it’s only the 6th inning. (I live in Santa Rosa)

by seyheystretch on Sep 25, 2008 3:39 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

When my stupid ex-girlfriend (Dodgers Fan) was having “personal problems”

by ACgiant97 on Sep 25, 2008 3:54 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I’m just going to assume that was “all the time.” What, with her glaring personal defect and all.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Sep 25, 2008 4:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

OT: Lineup

No Sandnarwhal :(

Lf winn
2b velez
3b aurilia
C Molina
1b mcclain
Cf rowand
Rf Schierholtz
Ss ochoa
P zito

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Sep 25, 2008 4:12 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This looks terrible...

"Strikeouts are boring - besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic."

by giants9107 on Sep 25, 2008 4:49 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I’m so happy this is the game I’m going to.

Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com. It's not being updated right now. Hope for more at your own risk.

by groug on Sep 25, 2008 5:02 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

FREE OMAR!

No really! I’d rather see him than Velez.

The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!

by WalrusMan on Sep 25, 2008 4:50 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I didn't go but......

…I got so disgusted that I turned the channel by 8:00 to watch Dancing with the Stars. How weenie is that?

Unfortunately, it still turned out to be the right choice. Pathetic.

Why isn't Sabean held accountable for leading the Giants into many years of mediocrity???

by oldrips on Sep 25, 2008 5:02 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dancing with the stars?

Dude…you just lost like…..500 million points.

The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!

by WalrusMan on Sep 25, 2008 6:07 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Use of the word “Dude” in response to someone’s shameful admission to watching Dancing with the Stars is not appropriate. “Girlfriend” or “Eunuch” would be more suitable.

It's my blarg! Quick Pitch

by can of corn on Sep 25, 2008 6:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That ramp thing takes forever to get down

I see the future, and it is Pablo

by CB30 on Sep 25, 2008 5:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'd disagree..

With so much of an incline on that thing it tires you out going up it.

The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
How is my adopted son almost twice as old as I am? Nevermind...Go Omar! Warm the Bench!

by WalrusMan on Sep 25, 2008 6:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The only time I’ve left a game early is when I’ve brought my little kids, and they’d reached their limits. They’re not gamers quite yet. Otherwise, I was raised to stay until that last out no matter what. Daddy taught me right.

It's my blarg! Quick Pitch

by can of corn on Sep 25, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Autum Night Fool

It was all my fault…not yours. In march 2007 I swore I wouldn’t go to game nor give the Giants another penny to waste. In late September my buddy Jim browbeat me in to going to a game. We bought tix from a non-Giants source. I ate outside the stadium.
The baseball gods still punished me by letting me watch Matt cain throw 8 scoreless innings and then having the bullpen blow the game.

March 2008, I take the same oath. My same friend Jim browbeats me again. We buy tix on StubHub, but this time I ATE IN THE PARK!!!!!!! Result, a buttkicking of monumental proportions.

I blame myself. The karma Gods really blasted me…along with innocent victims Pete Sanchez and former Giant pitcher Kevin Corrieia.

Hear me now Gods. In 2009 I WILL GO TO GAMES. For the first time since November 2002, (when immedaitely after coming 5 outs and a few idiot managerial decisions from winning the WS), Peter Magowan announced a cut in payroll….I go into the winter not pissed off and even somewhat optimistic.

by WiseOldSage on Sep 26, 2008 3:46 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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