It's been close to three years since one of these things? Wow. For someone as dedicated to mailing it in as I am, I've neglected the haiku post for far too long.

Fire Joe Morgan?
Perhaps, but never forget
1982

Kent and Piazza
Mustache war. Bloody. Epic.
Follicle of man

Chan Ho Park good now?
Zito for A's in six years:
Forty-seven saves

*Rake* *Dumb comment* *Rake*
*Dumb Comment* *Rake* *Lazy jog*
Left field: Your turn

Slow Eddie Murray
Right back to Beck: 1-2-3
Brian Johnson time

Godless Mueller thieves
This aggression will not stand
(You can keep Conte)

I hate the Dodgers
Bumgarner Merkin Bocock
I hate the Dodgers

Your turn. Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables, in case you were wondering. And don't forget to keep it Dodgers-related.