Haiku: Dodgers Edition

First! First! First! First! First!
First! First! First! First! First! First! First!
First! Dodgers suck! First!

Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?

by shikantaza on Aug 8, 2008 12:24 PM PDT 0 recs

you gotta keep it, ya know, related and stuff

Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?

by shikantaza on Aug 8, 2008 12:25 PM PDT up 0 recs

i think ... that's cheating!

If my head is full of white hairs by the end of this season.. I blame Brian Wilson. (I'm only 22, dammit!)

by GiNgiNxbOi on Aug 8, 2008 1:10 PM PDT up 0 recs

Yeah it needs to be relevant. Replace first with suck and I think he’s got it.

by timmeh on Aug 8, 2008 5:10 PM PDT up 0 recs

Tim is enchanting
Matt Cain third starter at best
Sanchez is dirty

Speed, defense... and an almost fanatical devotion to getting picked off.

by SF Pete on Aug 8, 2008 12:27 PM PDT 0 recs

somehow I missed the dodger part.

Speed, defense... and an almost fanatical devotion to getting picked off.

by SF Pete on Aug 8, 2008 12:34 PM PDT up 0 recs

manny ramirez
is on my fantasy team
does that make me gay?

"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Aug 8, 2008 12:29 PM PDT 0 recs

Ramirez in blue.
3 weeks until Kent goes ape.
Match made in heaven.

Hector Sanchez: really getting tired of playing baseball in foreign countries...

by tedfordfan on Aug 8, 2008 12:31 PM PDT 0 recs

This

Eugeniooooooo!!!!

by FairweatherFan on Aug 8, 2008 12:38 PM PDT up 0 recs

+ ROFL Cat

Angel Villalona: Waiting for fastballs since '07.

by AngelintheInfield on Aug 8, 2008 12:39 PM PDT up 0 recs

He doesn’t watch porn
He likes to wash his truck
Yes, he’s a Dodger

STEVE HOLM: Better than Alfonso? Why yes, of course.

by UnleashTheGore on Aug 8, 2008 12:32 PM PDT 0 recs

Eat The Dirt Fat Man
Slow Rolling Mountain of Flesh
Fall Lasorda Fall

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 12:35 PM PDT 1 recs

this is quite lovely

"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Aug 8, 2008 12:48 PM PDT up 0 recs

Yes, and it incorporates nature

...part of the best haikus

That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!

by tobias on Aug 8, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up 0 recs

It’s 75!...
Days till Kent punches Manny
Kent beaming Manny

by cheno on Aug 8, 2008 12:37 PM PDT 0 recs

Dodgers suck. Dodgers
Suck. Dodgers suck. Dodgers suck.
Dodgers suck. Dodgers.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Aug 8, 2008 12:38 PM PDT 0 recs

Manny in left field
Will Dave Roberts play in left too?
Worst defense ever? Yes

Angel Villalona: Waiting for fastballs since '07.

by AngelintheInfield on Aug 8, 2008 12:38 PM PDT 0 recs

agent coletti
giant trojan masterplan
bums don’t recognize

"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Aug 8, 2008 12:40 PM PDT 1 recs

Farmer John Hot Dogs
They will rot your intestines
You’ll wish you were dead

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 12:41 PM PDT 0 recs

The Dodgers wear blue
The same color of despair
Pure evil in cleats.

Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Aug 8, 2008 12:42 PM PDT 0 recs

Coming this weekend
chant beat la beat la
pull mannys dreadlocks

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

by WilliamVanLandingham on Aug 8, 2008 12:42 PM PDT 0 recs

I was not aware
That “field” had 2 syllables
I stand corrected

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 12:42 PM PDT 0 recs

more meta-haiku

how can anyone
express true dodger hatred
in five syllables?

"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Aug 8, 2008 12:55 PM PDT up 0 recs

Often, paradox
Leads you to ultimate truth
Wax on, Macchio

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 12:57 PM PDT up 0 recs

interesting view
do you have a newsletter
i can subscribe to?

"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Aug 8, 2008 1:08 PM PDT up 0 recs

Sunday should be great
“Suck it, Russell Martin!” will
boom throughout my house

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 12:43 PM PDT 0 recs

Brad Penny pitching
No ball will leave the infield
Burriss walks… steals… Win!

Angel Villalona: Waiting for fastballs since '07.

by AngelintheInfield on Aug 8, 2008 12:44 PM PDT 0 recs

Zito on the hill
Blue clad Manny at the plate
I am very scared

Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...

by Smoke on the Water on Aug 8, 2008 12:44 PM PDT 0 recs

Just a bad Penny
Keeps on coming back to you
Zito should buzz him

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 12:45 PM PDT 0 recs

Please pass the beachball
Time is most precious for sure
Seventh inning, bye.

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 12:45 PM PDT 0 recs

Viscious demons rip
Off angel wings when Bums score…
Why, God, why let it?

Hector Sanchez: really getting tired of playing baseball in foreign countries...

by tedfordfan on Aug 8, 2008 12:46 PM PDT 0 recs

Jeff Kent’s facial hair
Frottaged me on the MUNI
There should be a law

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 12:47 PM PDT 0 recs

Aces

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 12:48 PM PDT up 0 recs

Jeff Kent cuts the cheese
but in soviet russia
cheese cuts….nevermind

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

by WilliamVanLandingham on Aug 8, 2008 12:54 PM PDT 1 recs

win

"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Aug 8, 2008 1:08 PM PDT up 0 recs

Kent Porn Stash and all
Music Plays Back round Waaaa Waaaa
Enter Manny Now

GIVE SCOTT McCLAIN A SHOT!!!!!

by HarshInFresno on Aug 8, 2008 12:55 PM PDT 0 recs

Kevin, Cain, Sanchez
I wish Tim was gonna pitch
He’d step on their throats

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 12:56 PM PDT 0 recs

Go to the park late
always leave the game early
LA fans sux0r

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 6-4 impala

by jhiat00 on Aug 8, 2008 12:56 PM PDT 0 recs

Here comes Juan Pierre
Forty four million, five years
Sabean is bummed

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 12:57 PM PDT 0 recs

Andrew Jones is fat
Sabean almost bought in
McCovern applauds

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

by WilliamVanLandingham on Aug 8, 2008 12:59 PM PDT up 0 recs

No Green Monster here
to cover for poor defense.
Where will Manny pee?

VAE PVTO DEVS FIO

by Bhaakon on Aug 8, 2008 12:57 PM PDT 0 recs

+1

Bay City Ball

by xanthan on Aug 8, 2008 12:58 PM PDT up 0 recs

Timmy Doesn’t Pitch
Zito Correia Cain do
lucky to take one

Bonds stands alone.

Proud adopted parent of future big league slugger Thomas Neal

by nostocksjustbonds on Aug 8, 2008 12:59 PM PDT 0 recs

Douchebag facial hair
Kent’s pornstache, Martin’s sideburns
You all look stupid

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Aug 8, 2008 1:00 PM PDT 0 recs

yes

"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"

by The Gene Hackman on Aug 8, 2008 1:04 PM PDT up 0 recs

Hitler, Stalin, Pot
They were all evil men, but
Kent’s mustache is worse

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 1:01 PM PDT 0 recs

Zito throws today
Manny being manny-gay
Pain in our future

by bondslegend on Aug 8, 2008 1:01 PM PDT 0 recs

Pierre over pay
Manny Yankee next year sure
Colletti got job?

GIVE SCOTT McCLAIN A SHOT!!!!!

by HarshInFresno on Aug 8, 2008 1:01 PM PDT 0 recs

Orel Weaver Cey
Mike Marshall the outfielder
do not like dem Bums

by Goat on Aug 8, 2008 1:02 PM PDT 0 recs

over-priced left field
sabean salivating
i don’t like this team

by bondslegend on Aug 8, 2008 1:03 PM PDT 0 recs

We want you stupid
We loathe creativity
City of Angels

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 1:05 PM PDT 0 recs

Bill Plaschke loves ned today
Pierre, jones, blake- they’re all okay!
He knows nothing of stats, they’re all for the twats
the dude is fucking insane.

oops, did i screw it up?

by bondslegend on Aug 8, 2008 1:07 PM PDT 0 recs

You are no cowboy
No, you are from Bellflower
French Vanilla – yum!

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 1:09 PM PDT 0 recs

BVCE presents Fatties: An Abstract

Jones Penny Broxton
Line up at the suck buffet
Dodgers ate it all

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Aug 8, 2008 1:10 PM PDT 1 recs

Hear hear!

Like a lesbian couple that's just a little too angry, I'm still waiting for my chance at adoption.

by dangjackson on Aug 8, 2008 1:12 PM PDT up 0 recs

I’m going to hell for laughing at that. But I’ll see you all there.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Aug 8, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up 0 recs

Manny, It’s your turn
With Alissa Milano
“Not after Zito!”

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 1:15 PM PDT 0 recs

lmao.

If my head is full of white hairs by the end of this season.. I blame Brian Wilson. (I'm only 22, dammit!)

by GiNgiNxbOi on Aug 8, 2008 1:17 PM PDT up 0 recs

ewwwwwwwwwwww

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Aug 8, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up 0 recs

Marichal feels bad
For punking John Roseboro
I have no regrets

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 1:16 PM PDT 0 recs

Syllable limit,
(seventy-five seven five)
damn you (seven five)!!!

VAE PVTO DEVS FIO

by Bhaakon on Aug 8, 2008 1:17 PM PDT 0 recs

There once was a man named Kent
His services, we would never rent
He ran into Manny
They went Kablamey!
And now the pornstache is bent.

STEVE HOLM: Better than Alfonso? Why yes, of course.

by UnleashTheGore on Aug 8, 2008 1:19 PM PDT 1 recs

This might be the best one yet.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Aug 8, 2008 1:20 PM PDT up 0 recs

I suck at limericks/haikus

well done

by bondslegend on Aug 8, 2008 1:20 PM PDT up 0 recs

When a haiku thread produces a limerick

it’s all over.

VAE PVTO DEVS FIO

by Bhaakon on Aug 8, 2008 1:21 PM PDT up 0 recs

random poetry structures FTW!

STEVE HOLM: Better than Alfonso? Why yes, of course.

by UnleashTheGore on Aug 8, 2008 2:40 PM PDT up 0 recs

QUICK WE NEED A SESTINA!

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Aug 8, 2008 2:43 PM PDT up 0 recs

Damn. I have been working on a sonnet. Oh well. Another time.

Perhaps.

I'm adopting a true Giant and an awe-inspring gamer: tk. "Atta babe."

by Mayor of 311 on Aug 8, 2008 5:01 PM PDT up 0 recs

Sid Bream’s upper lip
Frenches Kent’s flavor-saver
Tom Niedenfuer

Waiting for Spilman.

by dangjackson on Aug 8, 2008 1:21 PM PDT 0 recs

I think we all need to see therapists about mustache-related trauma.

by Grant on Aug 8, 2008 1:22 PM PDT 0 recs

Zito and Penny…
Zito = lower ERA?!
what in the world..

If my head is full of white hairs by the end of this season.. I blame Brian Wilson. (I'm only 22, dammit!)

by GiNgiNxbOi on Aug 8, 2008 1:22 PM PDT 0 recs

Show me on the doll
Where the bad mustache touched you
Lifelong therapy

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Aug 8, 2008 1:23 PM PDT 0 recs

that is disturbing
i am now scarred for life, dude
i hate facial hair

by bondslegend on Aug 8, 2008 1:24 PM PDT up 0 recs

we are friends!

we are laughing!

STEVE HOLM: Better than Alfonso? Why yes, of course.

by UnleashTheGore on Aug 8, 2008 2:41 PM PDT up 0 recs

The mustache killer?
Jeff has airtight alibi
Was washing his truck

yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!

by satyricrash on Aug 8, 2008 1:25 PM PDT 0 recs

Life is never fair
Dodger runs and angel tears
Feathers everywhere

Adoptive father of howtheyscored. The beatings will begin momentarily.

by Goofus on Aug 8, 2008 1:26 PM PDT 0 recs

Note in the clubhouse:
Pedro Guerrero can’t read
Draw him a picture

Waiting for Spilman.

by dangjackson on Aug 8, 2008 1:27 PM PDT 0 recs

Sign of the times

Stick figure drawing
Can no longer find large head
Barry is white now

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Aug 8, 2008 1:30 PM PDT up 0 recs