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Defend Kruk & Kuip

There's an incredibly snarky article on sfgate.com about Kruk & Kuip. I registered with the site simply to respond to the article- I'd hate for Kruk & Kuip to read the article and think that the rest of Giants fans share the opinion of the author. The article is here.

I realize there are people out there that don't like the Giants announcers, but from my personal experience, they would be in the minority.

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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s'already down there as a Fanshot

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Jul 7, 2008 11:24 AM PDT   0 recs

Jeapordy

The Bible, Fanshots and Howie’s posts.

What are things that I hardly ever read?

2008 Giants: Scrappy! Scrappy! Joy! Joy!

by Goofus on Jul 7, 2008 2:47 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Kruk and Kuip won an emmy for their quality work. Tim Goodman, the writer of this article, as far as I can tell, hasn’t done anything in his career but artificially criticize things for a paycheck (it says so right in his sfgate bio).

Winner: Kruk and Kuip.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 11:33 AM PDT   0 recs

Goodman is considered one of the best television critics today. His reviews of shows are very good and extremely well-written, even if I don’t ALWAYS agree with him (he didn’t like Firefly, for example… The bastard.).

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 2:13 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I didn’t like Firefly based on “The Train Job” either (except for the one part at the end with the jet engine). It’s really not a very good introduction the way the 2-hour pilot is.

Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com and on it I make jokes about things.

by groug on Jul 7, 2008 2:17 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Funny you say that!

I introduced my wife to the real pilot episode and she was kind of meh about the show. Then I showed her the Train Job episode and she was hooked! Most people I’ve talked to didn’t like the pilot very much, but really got into the TJ episode.

Weird.

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 2:18 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

No way! The real pilot is SO much better. We must also have opposite most people we’ve talked to’s, because most people I’ve talked to prefer the real pilot.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 2:34 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I too had this experiance. (Now my wife wants to dress up as River every year for Halloween).

I think TJ is a better episode, but a confusing introduction to the series.

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on Jul 7, 2008 2:42 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I tried to look up some info on Goodman before I commented, but I didn’t see anything substantial so I went with my gut.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 2:36 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

And that makes you a jerk for saying anything bad about the best writer the Chronicle employs!

Not that he’s facing stiff competition… But he’s still really good.

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 2:44 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Just edging me one step closer to the jerk award!

It wasn’t a fair criticism. You’re absolutely right.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 2:54 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Don't say "edging" and "jerk" in the same sentence! HowTheyScored might see it and--

Oh. Nevermind. I see.

I'm adopting a true Giant and an awe-inspring gamer: tk. "Atta babe."

by Mayor of 311 on Jul 7, 2008 2:55 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

If I could award it now... You'd win hands down! =)

I kid, man!

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 3:40 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

If you read his column

on a regular basis, you are absolutely fair in judging him harshly. You don’t need to see what others think of him to form your own opinion. His reviews have let me down more than a couple times. I have even exchanged emails with him regarding some flippant remarks he made that could only be described as gratuitous.

I think he’s vastly overrated and I am not a fan.

On the other hand I believe the Giants have to have one of the best broadcast teams anywhere. This is purely anecdotal evidence, but I listen to other broadcasts whenever I travel and so far none have been able to match the Giant’s guys for entertaining and insightful commentary.

by marklar on Jul 7, 2008 4:35 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Well, it was pretty much unfair BECAUSE I don’t read his column on a regular basis. The criticism may or may not be valid, but it wasn’t well informed.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 5:09 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

not the best

Castillo hits doubles.

by kennv on Jul 7, 2008 4:19 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Tim Goodman

Tim Goodman spoke at a feature writing class I took a few years back. He was extremely impressive. Prior to that I didn’t even know who he was, but I began reading his well-written reviews thereafter.

by sharksrog on Jul 9, 2008 10:07 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Actually, I have to agree with Goodman. I found the article more critical of the direction of the broadcast, and less of the announcers. It does drive me nuts the amount of time they spend on folks in the stands, and then coming back right as the pitcher is delivering the ball. I believe the Giants’ have the best broadcast team in baseball, and this is just an honest look at thier work.

by tyrannoman on Jul 7, 2008 11:50 AM PDT   0 recs

Yup, that’s how I felt too. The article is more lamenting the fact that Kruk is forced into too much color commentary due to shitty producers.

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Jul 7, 2008 12:13 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I love Kruk and Kuip, but they are forced to talk about what is going on the stands WAY TOO MUCH. A little bit is alright but it has gotten to the point where it is ridiculous.

by Nellieball on Jul 7, 2008 11:55 AM PDT   0 recs

the only thing i dont like is kruk’s “open base” theory. i feel like hes all for pitching around guys and driving up pitch counts. in my opinion if theres a runner on first and second, there is not an open base and i donno why youd ever wanna walk the bases loaded

proud father of the newly acquired Brandon Crawford..

by Azmanz on Jul 7, 2008 12:01 PM PDT   0 recs

Yeah, I agree, Kruk is waaaaay too into pitching around guys with an open base. I really hate that strategy. There are times for it, but not every time there’s an open base.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 7, 2008 12:15 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Well, Tom Seaver was a huge proponent of pitching around hitters (in certain situations, of course) so I think there is merit there. Seaver is by far the most intelligent pitching mind I’ve had the pleasure of reading. If there are two outs, and the on deck hitter is slumping, or the pitcher is on deck, I don’t mind the intentional/unintentional BB there.

by tyrannoman on Jul 7, 2008 2:25 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

It depends...

If you have runners on 1st and 2nd you do have a base open. Do you want to pitch to some guy that mashes with 2 runners on, or pitch to a lesser hitter with the bases loaded? A 3-run home run is not worth avoiding a bases loaded situation. You have to consider number of outs, and who might pinch hit as well, but all things being equal, you pitch to the lesser hitter.

by marklar on Jul 7, 2008 4:46 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Except

In this case, all things are never equal because in chosing to pitch to the lesser hitter you put a man on base.

Eugeniooooooo!!!!

by FairweatherFan on Jul 7, 2008 4:50 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

All things being equal

meaning there are no mitigating factors, like less than 2 outs, a masher getting the day off but available to pinch hit, that sort of thing. But if Albert Pujols is in the box and Ryan Ludwick hitting 60 points less is on deck, I don’t believe in coming in with a fastball on 3-1 to Pujols. Same thing with Jermaine Dye hitting 80 points better than Jim Thome. There are guys that will hurt you more than others, and you don’t let that guy beat you. Think how many times it worked with Bonds when the Giants couldn’t deliver hitting behind him.

by marklar on Jul 7, 2008 5:20 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

FANSHOTS PEOPLE

Tentatively adopting Dan Ortmeier. And Boom Goes the Dynamite.

by Andy from DC on Jul 7, 2008 1:22 PM PDT   0 recs

fanshots are for cowards

Rafael Rodriguez: Vlad Guerrero on layaway?

by BrianBokake on Jul 7, 2008 1:33 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

With my Son at my side I shall destroy you.

Tentatively adopting Dan Ortmeier. And Boom Goes the Dynamite.

by Andy from DC on Jul 7, 2008 1:35 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Kruk is why I am a Giants Fan

But it is not for the Fanshots. And I actually made myself stop watching for some time last year because Kruk was “overselling” a shitty team.

I know it was about 10 years ago, and I cannot remember who the left fielder was but it was an opponent. He went toward the stands for a pop foul and ended up going over the rail and into the lap of an attractive woman in the first row. And Kruk said “That was a Veteran Move”.

I’ve been a fan since.

by toofruss on Jul 7, 2008 1:47 PM PDT   0 recs

I might add that

Tim Goodman is a TV critic and by nature more of an artistic personality than a sports fan personality, but even so, when the Giant’s bats are flaccid the entire broadcast can be tedious, not just the fanshots.

I have found the DVR replay on the +1 speed is the best way to watch the games anyway, when I am not there. When see something I back it up and watch at normal speed, and then move on again. I can get the game watched in about an hour or so that way.

by toofruss on Jul 7, 2008 1:57 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Yeah but...

...would a lousy baseball game really be more entertaining if they spent more camera time on the game itself?

You can’t hold the TV crew responsible for how well or badly the Giants play.

The All-Father is now a Giant!

by EliminateMe on Jul 7, 2008 2:08 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I don’t get why people make such a big deal out of the shots of fans in the stands. I think its fine. Its a perfect filler for the 10-15 seconds of no action between pitches or after an out has been made etc. I’d rather watch that then see some stupid interview with Amy G and some has been celebrity like Christian Slater at the Dodger game. Besides it gives Kruk and Kuip more things to comment on and make me laugh.

by Hobbes2d on Jul 7, 2008 1:57 PM PDT   0 recs

Yeah. I’ve always liked the fun Kruk and Kuip have commenting on ball dudes, funny looking people and parents trying to deal with their their kids (maybe it’s not as much fun for non-parents). A great example was a game last week where a baby’s knit cap was pulled down over its eyes and the parents were oblvivious. Kruk and Kuip were having fun with “Can I get a little help here? I can’t see anything!” I’ve also enjoyed when Kruk eliminates people/things (like Larry King’s Dodger cap).

What I don’t like are the shmaless plugs for different vendors. Yeah, you can build a bear at the ball park. We get it.

2008 Giants: Scrappy! Scrappy! Joy! Joy!

by Goofus on Jul 7, 2008 2:13 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

yeah, sure, hop into the stands every once in awhile, but not after every pitch. Then as soon as the pitch is taken, back to the 5 year old stuffing cotton candy in his mouth with the orange hulk hand and ice cream in his hair. Then back to Cain just as he throws the ball, ball two…back to hulk kid. I mean really.

As for Amy G., I wish her all the luck in the world in some other job.

by tyrannoman on Jul 7, 2008 2:29 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I dig Kruk and Kuip

And I also dig Tim Goodman. His articles have been some of my favorite reads for a long time now. Other than his poor review of Firefly. He also didn’t really care for Chuck, which is a pretty funny show (co-starring The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne).

Anyway, I agree with the people above, it didn’t really read as much of criticism of Kruk and Kuip as much as the broadcast. I agree with him, I could do without all the excess fan shots and other stuff. And while Kruk is definitely a homer for the Giants, I really enjoy when he talks pitching, strategy, etc. I find he has a lot of great insight.

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 2:20 PM PDT   0 recs

I’ll always like Tim Goodman because of how he championed Arrested Development.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 7, 2008 2:26 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I miss Arrested Development

Michael and George Michael, Gob and Buster, and the rest of the gang…

Adoptive parental unit of Kevin "Most Spectacular Pitcher" Pucetas.

"I'm a Giant now... I like watching the ball get up there" - Wendell Fairley
"I'm really proud to be on this team." - Nate Schierholtz

by obsessivegiantscompulsive on Jul 7, 2008 2:37 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Ah.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 2:38 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Your disdain disgusts me.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 7, 2008 2:39 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

:)

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 7, 2008 2:39 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

+1

Forgot that somehow… That’s one of the biggest things that made me a huge Goodman fan!

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 2:46 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I agree with everyone else that the criticism was not of Kruk and Kuip, it was of the broadcast itself. I read here before that fans like that they show more of normal fans that they do of hot chicks, but I have to say that I would really prefer to see the hot young women. Don’t any go to the games??

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on Jul 7, 2008 2:36 PM PDT   0 recs

Maybe the Mitchell Brothers should get a skybox, and staff it accordingly.

by tyrannoman on Jul 7, 2008 2:42 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Clearly you weren't watching yesterday

They had an entire inning where they were basically ogling girls in the McCovey Loft. Kruk eliminated the guys who were there with them and everything. It was pretty good.

Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com and on it I make jokes about things.

by groug on Jul 7, 2008 4:09 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

agreed, that was hilarious.

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Jul 7, 2008 4:24 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

This thread highlights the folly that is "Fanshots" on the SBNation sites

Someone made an earnest attempt to bring this out as a ‘Fanshot’ rather than a thread, and then when this thread came up, the Framed Drug-Dealing Carmaker tried to point it out. His was the first comment every poster read (or, you know, should have read) before posting here, but did so anyway. Nobody did anything wrong, as such, but it just shows that the “Fanshot” thing does not work. And this is coming in a period when we are trying to be conscious of not duplicating threads.

Carry on.

I'm adopting a true Giant and an awe-inspring gamer: tk. "Atta babe."

by Mayor of 311 on Jul 7, 2008 2:46 PM PDT   0 recs

The surprising thing for me is how different the tone of each one is. The responses in the Fanshot are much more “Goodman’s being stupid about this,” while the resonses here are much more “Goodman’s fairly criticizing the broadcast itself, and not being particularly or unfairly negative to either Kruk or Kuip.”

It seems to be one of those cases where duplication results in a varied response.

I do agree that the Fanshots aren’t proving very effective for stories like these. They seem to be doing fairly well for videos and photos, though.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 3:05 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

The problem with Fanshots

As most people who work on websites for a living can tell you, “below the fold” on a webpage=death. It’s the Internet equivalent of the 2am infomercial.

Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.

by Kitspool on Jul 7, 2008 4:41 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I have been working on websites for a living for the past two months, and I actually know what you mean! And you’re right. Downscrolling so far is a kiss of death.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 5:10 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Yes, I deal with the same thing in my world, except for me it’s “anything below the waist doesn’t get any attention”.

2008 Giants: Scrappy! Scrappy! Joy! Joy!

by Goofus on Jul 7, 2008 8:07 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

You just need to reconfigure your proportions so that the waist rests at knee level, and the gibblies are all above that. I’m sure somebody could do the coding for you on that.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 8:14 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Or just stand on my head.

2008 Giants: Scrappy! Scrappy! Joy! Joy!

by Goofus on Jul 7, 2008 8:23 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Thinking outside the box. I like that.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 8:34 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I didn't even know there were fanshots

until today. not really, but I rarely pay attention to them as i’m too lazy to scroll to the bottom of the front page.

Bonds stands alone.

Proud adopted parent of future big league slugger Thomas Neal

by nostocksjustbonds on Jul 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

This might be bad, but...

I knew they were there. I just didn’t care. Actually, I still don’t care!

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 8:57 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Fanshots and repeating posts

I agree about the Fanshots. In fact, I thought they were supposed to be where you posted images or clips of videos from the web. I made sure there was not a thread post about this article, so I went ahead and posted it. Honestly, I didn’t even check Fanshots because I thought they were specifically for posting images/videos or links to images/videos.

by clevername on Jul 7, 2008 5:49 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

a period when we are trying to be conscious of not duplicating threads

Frankly, I have seen little evidence of this. Just as many duplicated threads this last week as in the past.

I think that it is just the 20 or so of us who are conscious of this, and wouldn’t have done it in the first place.

Eugeniooooooo!!!!

by FairweatherFan on Jul 7, 2008 2:52 PM PDT   0 recs

Alas, you might well be right.

I'm adopting a true Giant and an awe-inspring gamer: tk. "Atta babe."

by Mayor of 311 on Jul 7, 2008 2:54 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Oh Well

I figured I’d put it as a Fanshot, since I didn’t have too much to say about it… lol not a big deal though. It’s not as though physical clutter is accumulating.

by giantfan5 on Jul 7, 2008 3:07 PM PDT   0 recs

I think you actually got a pretty good amount of commentary in the fanshot.

And putting it down there because you don’t personally having much to say about it was the right move. You’re actually utilizing the system the way it was designed to be used!

It was good stuff.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 3:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Also

I think the problem I have with it is Goodman’s tone is that “Cut all this “fun” crap, this baseball sport is serious business!” But its clear that he doesn’t listen or watch very often himself, however, if he thinks:

Though Giants fans have, through the years, come to adopt this duo as a beloved institution (fans still wear the pair’s replica Giants jerseys), their digressions can be both annoying and pedestrian and a stark contrast to the work of Jon Miller, who broadcasts for both the Giants and ESPN.

LOL John Miller doesn’t digress? As I said in my comment on the article, earlier this year, I heard Miller and Flemming talk for an entire inning about Latin state mottoes! We (my family and I) didn’t remember a thing that happened in the inning, and we loved it, because it was hilarious.

by giantfan5 on Jul 7, 2008 3:16 PM PDT   0 recs

He might not have every listened to Miller on the radio. Miller on ESPN doesn’t really (get to?) do the fun stuff.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 3:17 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Man, I make that every typo ALL the time. It doesn’t even make sense as a typo…

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jul 7, 2008 3:18 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

there was already a Fanshot on this

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Jul 7, 2008 3:21 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

This is true, Jon doesn’t have the room for his esoteric and funny stuff on ESPN like he has on the Giants broadcasts. I was shocked (SHOCKED) when a friend who isn’t a Giants fan described Jon Miller as pedestrian and tedious as a broadcaster. Then I realized she only knew his ESPN broadcasts and I kind of had to give her that one.

I need to send her the call of the Ruben Rivera game and that should get her to see the light.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 7, 2008 3:22 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I was watching the ESPN Sunday night game this past week, and at one point I found myself actually enjoying it for a good while. Then I realized it was because Joe Morgan hadn’t said anything in about 10 minutes or so. Guess he went to the bathroom or something.

Everybody Loves Durham
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Jul 7, 2008 4:01 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Miller

Digresses much more than KnK, without a doubt.

He will go on for innings about some players name.

Eugeniooooooo!!!!

by FairweatherFan on Jul 7, 2008 3:21 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

yeah

but he’s better at it. Earlier this season, Flem’s daughters were eating a strawberry shortcake, and Miller became so obsessed that he went on for about three innings and missed several pitches…it was actually hilarious…

by tyrannoman on Jul 7, 2008 3:29 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Goodman...

Is actually a rabid Giants fan. Don’t know how much he gets to watch/listen, because he has to watch other shows pretty much all the time for his job. Man, I’m glad I don’t have to watch TV for a living! =(

My suspicion isn’t that Tim was saying KnK digress but Miller doesn’t as much as the style of Jon’s digressions probably don’t grate on his nerves as much. I think it’s a different experience broadcasting the game on the radio than it is on TV, so the radio digressions don’t seem to blatantly obvious and annoying.

Like I said, I like Kruk and Kuip, but they do digress a little too often. I don’t think it’s necessarily their fault, as much as the broadcaster’s fault, though.

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jul 7, 2008 3:46 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Miller also loves to talk about boats. And of course do Vin Scully impressions. Jon Miller FTW!

I once met him and he told me I could have his job haha. He’s awesome.

by Hobbes2d on Jul 7, 2008 3:51 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I like Goodman’s writing a lot, but comparing Kruk and Kuip’s work for a local broadcast aimed at Giants fans with a national one aimed at baseball fans in general (which is what Jon Miller does on ESPN radio/TV) is kind of a jury-rigged argument. They’re totally different in their pacing and their information, and the assumptions they place on the viewing audience.

That said, the fact that Jon Miller works so well in both settings really speaks to how good a broadcaster he is.

Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.

by Kitspool on Jul 7, 2008 4:48 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Jon Miller

My favorite is Jon Miller’s impression of the Japanese Broadcaster that mimics Vin Scully. Absolutely hilarious.

by marklar on Jul 7, 2008 4:55 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

K&K are great... nevertheless...

as I said in the limbo-we-call-Fanshots, it’s not profaning the sacred or committing blasphemy to not love everything about Krukow’s mannerisms. I could happily go the rest of eternity without hearing “Grab some pine, meat” (and it’s especially horrible hearing other people say it, shudder), or the word “Gamer.” (I hope this year’s ad campaign will kill that word.)

As for Goodman, who is a tv critic, I think he provides an insight of what the casual fan experiences. We are the initiated; he’s not. We listen to K&K on the radio, which is an accumulation of experience that also informs how we relate to them on tv; he does not. HIs experience isn’t ours. Hey, somewhere out there is some blurb-o-matic movie critic who liked “Indy Jones/Crystal Skull”—and eve