Open Mad Libs Thread
by Grant on Jul 30, 2008 10:06 AM PDT
39 comments
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a (adjective) past. When he was a young boy, he often (verb, past tense) the hell out of (noun). In addition, Cain also (verb, past tense) often, which made (noun) sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a (adjective) fashion. Because if this story isn't true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go (leisure activity) for the rest of my life if I don't have this story to believe in.
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Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a plaid past. When he was a young boy, he often hornswaggled the hell out of beets. In addition, Cain also matriculated often, which made Cream of Wheat sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a diabolical fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go crying for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on Jul 30, 2008 10:24 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Hee hee
The use of “matriculate” as if it’s something dirty always gets a snicker out of me.
Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Jul 30, 2008 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
usually, repeated matriculations involve less-than-choirboy behaviors
..though given the Catholic Church, maybe I should have said, “more”..
by wcw on Jul 30, 2008 11:11 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Are Catholic jokes still considered funny?
by cheno on Jul 30, 2008 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
No
Hector Sanchez: really getting tired of playing baseball in foreign countries...
by tedfordfan on Jul 30, 2008 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not unless you can work in a reference to “papal bull”.
The All-Father is now a Giant!
by EliminateMe on Jul 30, 2008 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
My coworkers answers:
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a legubrious past. When he was a young boy, he often shaved the hell out of his penile gland. In addition, Cain also shatted often, which made Booger sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a wan fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go snort coke for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
Speed, defense... and an almost fanatical devotion to getting picked off.
by SF Pete on Jul 30, 2008 10:27 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Poor Matt
Nobody should ever shave the hell out of their penile gland, let alone do it often.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Jul 30, 2008 10:55 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I guess that’s what happens when you’ve had a “legubrious” (?) past…
by Jakespaar on Jul 30, 2008 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
from co-worker/wife
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a sticky past. When he was a young boy, he often printed the hell out of bicycles. In addition, Cain also slept often, which made plants sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a voluminous fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go hiking for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Jul 30, 2008 10:47 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Awesome random word generator
For folks without co-workers/wives
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Jul 30, 2008 10:48 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Whoops
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Jul 30, 2008 10:48 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Using hairball's fancy word generator
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a sultry past. When he was a young boy, he often smoked the hell out of Lithuania. In addition, Cain also blended often, which made Sirhan Sirhan sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a pleasant fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go enjoy Otter Pops for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
Derin McMains had five fingers, but he only used three.
by oooreebay on Jul 30, 2008 11:07 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
smoked the hell out of Lithuania
i’m pretty sure you just won the internet
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
by delorean on Jul 30, 2008 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Time to change your band name
I can see the flyer now:
When: Sept. 12th
Where: Bottom of the Hill
Who:
The Shitty Beatles
The Dunder Mifflins
smoked the hell out of Lithuania
Styx
Derin McMains had five fingers, but he only used three.
by oooreebay on Jul 30, 2008 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Same, but on obscure setting
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a hypochloremic past. When he was a young boy, he often cancerated the hell out of gorgonocephalus. In addition, Cain also underbillowed often, which made Pseudoscopy sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a interpetalous fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go till the soil for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Jul 30, 2008 11:15 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Good god, man.
Gorgonocephalus….can i get the country of origin? Gorgonocephalus…may I have the pronunciation?
/faints
Derin McMains had five fingers, but he only used three.
by oooreebay on Jul 30, 2008 11:53 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He He
It’s been like 20 minutes since I read this and yet the maniacal giggle persists. A google search of smoked the hell out of Lithuania was disappointing.
"Ice is made for two things: injuries and my drinks." The Lincecums
by igotnothing on Jul 30, 2008 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Random Word Generator says...
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a recognized past. When he was a young boy, he often mixed the hell out of Earth. In addition, Cain also fought often, which made sandwiches sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a sharp fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go clubbing for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
by out machine on Jul 30, 2008 11:16 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a fat past. When he was a young boy, he often pooped the hell out of boogers. In addition, Cain also smelled often, which made Grant sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a retarded fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go crap for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
by Natto on Jul 30, 2008 11:28 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a farty past. When he was a young boy, he often farted the hell out of people with overdeveloped senses of smell. In addition, Cain also pooped often, which made Giants hitters sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a fartacular fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go fart for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com and on it I make jokes about things.
by groug on Jul 30, 2008 11:33 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Your post
it smells faintly of… something
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Jul 30, 2008 11:45 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
H 2 S
adopter/sponsor of "Go, Antoan" Richardson
by foothillsfan on Jul 30, 2008 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Tim Lincecum is Baseball's Chuck Norris
by Azantor on Jul 30, 2008 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have to know if FARTY is a valid Scrabble play
(looks it up)
Damn, it isn’t.
Anagram of "Giants pitcher Matt Cain" = TRAGIC MAN, ISN'T PATHETIC
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Jul 30, 2008 12:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Coincidentally, this reads exactly like a daily conversation betwen my seven-year-old twins.
The All-Father is now a Giant!
by EliminateMe on Jul 30, 2008 12:38 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Random Word Generator (set to Uncommon):
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has an extragalactic past. When he was a young boy, he often outfaced the hell out of mutuality. In addition, Cain also reforged often, which made sheepherder sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a broodier fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go masticate for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
by Jakespaar on Jul 30, 2008 12:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a fucked up past. When he was a young boy, he often fucked the hell out of fuckers. In addition, Cain also fucked often, which made fuckers sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a fucked up fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go fuck gently for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
Neglectful father of David Quinowski
by marcello on Jul 30, 2008 12:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Al Pacino in "Scarface" called
He wants his expletives back.
No, my Crazy Crab bobblehead is not for sale.
by Kitspool on Jul 30, 2008 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a wino past. When he was a young boy, he often chugged the hell out of Jug Chardonnay. In addition, Cain also purchased 2-Buck Chuck often, which made everybody sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in an alcoholic fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go and stop drinking for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
Tim Lincecum is Baseball's Chuck Norris
by Azantor on Jul 30, 2008 12:20 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Thanks for this thread, and the
fine and twisted minds at work here. I’ve been laughing for about three minutes now, and really needed this today. As the trade deadline approaches, my apprehension is growing, so this is most welcome.
Meet my three little friends: Timmy, Dirty, and Cain
by Buck Henry on Jul 30, 2008 1:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Matt Cain is a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, but he also has a penisy past. When he was a young boy, he often penised the hell out of penises. In addition, Cain also penised often, which made penis sad.
This is why God hates Matt Cain, and why he continues to lose games in a penisy fashion. Because if this story isn’t true, then there truly is no justice in this universe. I do not want to live in a world that treats Matt Cain this poorly, so I might as well go penising for the rest of my life if I don’t have this story to believe in.
by boonitez on Jul 30, 2008 1:33 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I fail @ replies.
Eugeniooooooo!!!!
by FairweatherFan on Jul 30, 2008 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Who doesn’t?
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Jul 30, 2008 6:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You should interpret that as ambiguously either replying directly to your replies comment, or indirectly replying to your penis comment, depending on which you like more.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Jul 30, 2008 6:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
well, I like my own more but i understand if you like yours or somebody else’s more
adopter/sponsor of "Go, Antoan" Richardson
by foothillsfan on Jul 31, 2008 3:18 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
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