Fred Lewis Makes The All-Ugly Team
by Goofus on Jul 11, 2008 10:10 AM PDT
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PrintI'm guessing some of you have already seen this. (Unless it was a Fan Post by Howie, in which case no one would have read it.) We've had fun with this topic before, but what the hell:
http://www.comedy.com/blog/2008/07/07/baseballs-all-ugly-team/
It's important to note that these are all current players. Bartolo Colon is a great call. Their description of what "Andre the Giant" would look like if he had't grown is pretty good. (I've always thought he looked a shaved ape.)
A big surprise, Freddie Lewis made the team. Might be a tad unfair since ,other than the bad complexion, he's pretty ok looking if you ask me. He certainly has a better physique than most ballplayers. The "bear trap" comment was cruel but pretty damn funny.
Questions abound:
- What deserving players did they miss?
- Did somes players make it based on their reputation?
- Should fans be allowed to choose the All-Ugly starters?
- Should a player be chosen for their current ugliness or what their ugliness over the course of their career?
This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.
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Any All-Ugly team
that does not include Randy Johnson is instantly suspect.
Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.
+1
The writing on those is generally funny, but the actual selections are just lazy.
Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.
I can’t read this at work, but I have to vote for Willie McGee as the ugliest baseball player every. If there was an Ugly HOF, he would be the very first inductee. Love the guy, great person in the community, but always looked like he was on the verge of upchucking.
Haters
Fred has a really great smile. He’s just too fierce to use it.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions
Why did this post in response to Tyrannoman?
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:22 AM PDT up reply actions
It is to say that I do agree.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:34 AM PDT up reply actions
I’ve long been a big proponent of the “Fred Lewis has a great smile” POV. With Barry gone this year, I’d say he has the best smile on the team.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Jul 11, 2008 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Profile Pic--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
Speed, defense... and an almost fanatical devotion to getting picked off.
You have never heard of Kirby Puckett? Really?
I would put that guy, whose best comparable is Spuds McKenzie, ahead of Willie McGee by a damn sight.
I'm adopting a true Giant and an awe-inspring gamer: tk. "Atta babe."
by Mayor of 311 on Jul 11, 2008 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Ben Francisco is spot on.
And I really don’t think Fred is that ugly. I mean he’s not even the ugliest giant. Castillo and Denker easily beat him in that race, atleast in my book.
Tentatively adopting Dan Ortmeier. And Boom Goes the Dynamite.
Someone here said Castillo looked like a Koopa Troopa. Was it can of corn? Because that was hilarious and true.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:23 AM PDT up reply actions
Hey now
Denker is a very handsome young man. Any girl would be lucky to have him.
/unconditional love
Adopted Giant: Travis Denker. Good?
by scotterduder on Jul 11, 2008 12:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Colon
Looks like the clown from Spawn
How could you leave off this guy??
www.wazzel.com (prove your sports knowledge if you can)
Forgive me I can't remember his name
Strangely enough the second guy’s GameDay photo from a year or two ago wasn’t nearly as…whatever that photo is above. I have bad skin too so I try not to be mean to those who suffer from it, but yow. Anywho, the GameDay photo for this fellow actually made him look pretty decent.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:34 AM PDT up reply actions
Who the fuck is that!?
Sheeeeeit that’s some bad acne. Acne’s usually harder to see on dark skin, too…
Also Colon looks like Grimace wearing a baseball cap. And not as purple.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:35 AM PDT reply actions
I think the comedy on “comedy.com” is more than a little dubious..
yeah, well, the whole world stinks, francine -- so get used to it!
wtf Fred isn’t ugly at all. >:(
though his roster picture is pretty bad.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
I tried to tell them but they didn’t listen.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:46 AM PDT up reply actions
idk what’s up with those marks on his face, he doesn’t have them if you look at him during games or whatever.
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
3RD OUTFIELDER AT BEST
Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com and on it I make jokes about things.
Isn’t that still a starter?
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Jul 11, 2008 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions
The 3rd starter in a pitching rotation is in there pretty comfortably too.
Trent Kline: Decentish. Also, my website is called ChatterBalks Dot Com and on it I make jokes about things.
Touche.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Jul 11, 2008 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Maybe he just had a really bad breakout or something. Hence the :\ face in his picture.
I did a Google image search and came up with a photo of a headstone (is Fred dead?) and lots of pictures of cats.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 11:03 AM PDT up reply actions
If you want to get historical
Ernie Lombardi might be #1 all time.
Actually no…that has to be Randy Johnson.
by positiveuphemism on Jul 11, 2008 10:53 AM PDT reply actions
Kirby Puckett. KIRBY PUCKETT!! Dammit. How quickly they forget.
I'm adopting a true Giant and an awe-inspring gamer: tk. "Atta babe."
by Mayor of 311 on Jul 11, 2008 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions
Kirby was goofy looking
But I wouldn’t call him ugly
Only 880 games until the end of Zito's contract
I always thought Pedro Feliz was pretty funny looking. And Julian Tavarez – is he still around? I can’t remember. Oh, and Aaron Harang. Dude looks like at least half horse.
With Fred Lewis, I think it’s more that they picked an unflattering photo of him. In other pictures and on tv, he looks perfectly normal.
Pedro’s Amish beard thing was horrible.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions
It so is. I should send him a note asking him to shave it.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions
I’ll wait for sharksrog’s dissertation on the subject.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Jul 11, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Preview
Tim = Good.
..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.
You accidentally hit the o button twice.
My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.
by howtheyscored on Jul 11, 2008 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions
THIRD MOST ATTRACTIVE STARTER AT BEST
AT BEST!!!
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.
It’s time to trade him for better looking prospects.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 11, 2008 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions
I was going to write a long post...
...about how wrong it is to focus on physical appearance but a girl with a great ass and a huge rack walked by.
Fred Lewis can stand under my umbrella.
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