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Scenarios that could lead to the Giants being free of il Zito & his contract

1. Positive test for Steroids

2. Arrested on baseball gambling charge

3. Featured in new Bin Laden Video

4. Giants offering Zito plus $75 million over the rest of the life of Zito's contract to _____ for ________.

 

I can't think of anything else so by all means people LGTI!

/ I call for McC posters to use the slashiez!

// Selling Zito to the Japanese league FTW!

/// Somehow I thought it would be easier to get to 75 words of text without having to do this filler crap at the bottom of my post.

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

1 recs  |  Comment 66 comments

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How many cattle can he purchase in Fresno?

Sit him down and have a man-to-man chat. Give him his bus pass to Fresno and let hiim know there is no certainty of his return to starting rotation unless he can perform like a ML starter.

by wilriv21 on Jun 23, 2008 6:46 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

You can't send him to Fresno without his permission.

ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524

by rfloh on Jun 23, 2008 11:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

hence the man-to-man talk

by wilriv21 on Jun 24, 2008 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!!!

This is where’d I’d hot-link to a YouTube video with an embedded player, but since the site switched over, my video linking abilities have been greatly diminished….that being said…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYkxF14YdAw

Adoptive papa to Omar...so basically I'm screwed.

by PacBellBoozer on Jun 24, 2008 11:20 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Imagine all of the bad press we would get if we cut Zito because of a steroid test.

by rotorueter on Jun 23, 2008 7:22 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Maybe Zito will come back next season with a 107 mph fastball and a twenty-seven pitch repertoire including a high-nineties blonkball and an A+ squeezer.

by sfmaynard on Jun 23, 2008 8:10 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

You better get used to paying Zito

Because he is gonna be with the Giants for a while

by Athletic on Jun 23, 2008 8:47 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Everybody Loves Durham
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Jun 23, 2008 9:03 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Quality....

+1

Down in Front Meat!

by homerdrew415 on Jun 23, 2008 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Two words:

Mysterious Disappearance

That is all.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jun 23, 2008 9:07 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Bring the rope

I have a shed…

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jun 23, 2008 9:11 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I also have a hose, not too far from the shed.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jun 24, 2008 10:03 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You're about a size 14 right..

Could you help me move this couch? I broke my arm…

/Buffalo Bill FTW!

Down in Front Meat!

by homerdrew415 on Jun 24, 2008 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Sorry...have to disagree with you on that one.

I’m more of a Hannibal fan myself. A bit more refined. Way more devious, and ya…he’s hiding in Venice. To disembowel the cop and then throwing him over the edge of the balcony just like his ancestor…wowie…that would have to suck.

Adoptive papa to Omar...so basically I'm screwed.

by PacBellBoozer on Jun 24, 2008 11:25 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Right track

I was going to post this:

Three words

ass ass ination

But yours is similar enough to mine that it would look like I was ripping you off. I’m not sure which one would be better, though. Disappearance or letting the authorities find the body. Are the Giants free from the contract if he is killed? What about if he just disappears? Whichever option gets them free from the contract is the way to go.

But whichever way we choose, Natto’s assassin contacts will come in handy.

Only 896 games until the end of Zito's contract

by thehavenot on Jun 24, 2008 11:07 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Billy Hayes: His job is better than yours.

by delorean on Jun 24, 2008 11:28 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Weird, I forgot that Natto had that big bushy tail.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jun 24, 2008 1:32 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

HEY!!!

THAT WAS OUR LITTLE SECRET!!

Everybody Loves Durham
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Jun 24, 2008 1:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

People can do amazing things with Photoshop these days

I think it would be pretty darn easy for someone like Natto to make it look like Zito is hanging out behind Bin Laden on his next home movie.

Of course, I don’t condone this action… I’m just saying it’s possible.

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Jun 23, 2008 10:20 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

maybe barry zito and most of the contract for gary matthews junior?

he kinda sucks, and makes 10 Mil for the next 4 years (this year included), but hey, its cheaper than zito

I AM THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. BOW TO MY WILL AND MY HAMMER!

by anaheim angels on Jun 24, 2008 1:07 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Can he play CF?

SCORE!

Everybody Loves Durham
comics | cartoons | Nattowear

by Natto on Jun 24, 2008 1:41 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

yup

he most definitely can

I AM THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. BOW TO MY WILL AND MY HAMMER!

by anaheim angels on Jun 24, 2008 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Why hasn’t someone claimed Mass Species Extension Motor strike in this pool?

Because that about what would have to happen in the next 4-5 years.

" Their still Shitty" - Major Leagues the movie.
I am a Giants fan. Thus I enjoy my pain. Currently enjoying it more then usual.

by daveinexile on Jun 24, 2008 7:53 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I recognize all those words...

...yet I have no idea whatsoever what they mean put together in that order.

All-Father Watch: 1.05 ERA, 7 saves, 0.87 WHIP, 34 Ks in 34 1/3 IP

by EliminateMe on Jun 24, 2008 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

he accepts a pay cut and trade to Angels who will allow surfing

adopter/sponsor of "Go, Antoan" Richardson

by foothillsfan on Jun 24, 2008 10:10 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

In fact, they will demand it.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on Jun 24, 2008 1:32 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Now wait a minute…isn’t there a particular nasty bit of waves in our own back yard? Maverick or whatever it’s called. Do we still have to pay the dude if he dies while under contract?!?

Adoptive papa to Omar...so basically I'm screwed.

by PacBellBoozer on Jun 24, 2008 11:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Message to Turkish National Team:

Your Euro 2008 semifinal match with Germany is tomorrow. You’re short at least four players due to injury/suspension. I have eight words for you:

Rich Aurilia
Ray Durham
Randy Winn
Barry Zito

Also, we won’t need any of them back after the tournament. Enjoy the nightlife in Instanbul, guys!

Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.

by Kitspool on Jun 24, 2008 10:20 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

That team would go nowhere fast.

Matt Cain, cleanup hitter or starting pitcher?

by cain1rstballothof on Jun 24, 2008 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nah...

...neither Aurilia nor Zito are very fast.

It would go nowhere slowly.

All-Father Watch: 1.05 ERA, 7 saves, 0.87 WHIP, 34 Ks in 34 1/3 IP

by EliminateMe on Jun 24, 2008 10:57 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Problem with those names...

None of them are “young” Turks…

Down in Front Meat!

by homerdrew415 on Jun 24, 2008 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Though I could see Randy Winn as a Goalie...

Oh my bad, the soccer fans call them keepers right?

/Love my armoured yank wank ball…

Down in Front Meat!

by homerdrew415 on Jun 24, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Reminder....

No spoilers for the Semi-Finals ok?

I’ll cook up a Fanpost for the final though.

P.S. Amazing how I’ve managed to lose any and all interest since the Dutch and Portuguese got bumped out. Oh, and Ronaldo, he can suck one all the way to Madrid for all I care. F’ing wanker!

Adoptive papa to Omar...so basically I'm screwed.

by PacBellBoozer on Jun 24, 2008 11:30 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh, and Ronaldo, he can suck one all the way to Madrid for all I care. F’ing wanker!

I think I speak for all Man U fans out there when I say +1.

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Jun 25, 2008 12:18 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I despise the Red Devils and even I’m sick of his posh sissy boy shit!

Adoptive papa to Omar...so basically I'm screwed.

by PacBellBoozer on Jun 25, 2008 12:37 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Newcastle fan, right? We’re playing you on opening weekend.

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Jun 25, 2008 2:05 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

No, you’re LOSING on opening weekend to the Geordie Gods.

Toon Toon Black and White Army
Toon Toon Black and White Army
Toon Toon Black and White Army
Toon Toon Black and White Army
Toon Toon Black and White Army

Photobucket

Adoptive papa to Omar...so basically I'm screwed.

by PacBellBoozer on Jun 25, 2008 9:06 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Seriously dude?

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Jun 25, 2008 9:43 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You’re damn right I’m serious! I wouldn’t be a “fan” if I didn’t always support my team, no matter the opposition. Anyone can leech onto the Big 4 popularity train, but I’ve decided to back a team that isn’t constantly in the news and winning silverware.

Photobucket

Adoptive papa to Omar...so basically I'm screwed.

by PacBellBoozer on Jun 25, 2008 12:47 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I never “decided” to follow ManU. It just happened, mainly because a close friend of mine was a fan. I was mocking the trash talk, which I’ve always thought was silly. Just because ManU is better than most teams doesn’t mean you’re more of a fan than I am. Were you just leeching on to the 49ers in the 80’s?

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Jun 26, 2008 7:18 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Also, that picture is awesome.

..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.

by Cookyman on Jun 26, 2008 7:20 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

As a committed supporter of a team that last season finished as the 98th in England’s league structure i wholeheartedly endorse this theory!

Although i certainly don’t endorse the supporting of Newcastle having lost to them in controversial circumstances a while back & having lived nearby for a while!

Proud owner of the most boring Username! Alex Hinshaw: Now showing in a bullpen near you!

by GiantFan on Jun 26, 2008 7:34 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Astroid Impact
Nuclear War
Flesh eating virus outbreak
Caught w/ live boy or dead hooker

Tell Bud that Zito was instrumental in Bond’s steroid usage and let the commish run him out of baseball for you.

Eugeniooooooo!!!!

by FairweatherFan on Jun 24, 2008 9:46 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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