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Open Gameday Thread, 5/17

Thumb_tiny by Grant on

Chicago @ San Francisco


What the...my Gameday post for last night was eaten. Here's what I had planned:

Remember when Elvis met Richard Nixon? How about when Babe Ruth met Ernest Hemingway? Dr. Dre (from N.W.A.) and Doctor Dre (from Yo! MTV Raps) probably met at some point, I would think. Sometimes, in this great big world of ours, the stars align and totally famous people meet to talk about totally famous stuff.

Which is all to say that I've been challenged to a tied-at-the-wrist knife fight like the one from "Beat It" invited to attend a game with El Lefty Malo. Our plan: Drink and yell at A.J. Pierzynski until Ozzie Guillen charges out of the dugout to try and bite off one of our ears. I hear you have to get special shots if that happens.

Warm up the paddywagon, SFPD. And suck it, A.J. Pierzynski.

You'd think that this post wouldn't have the same heft the morning after, but I think it is even more applicable for one single reason: Lefty looks exactly like Richard Nixon. Jowls, bulbous nose, paranoid distrust of unwashed counterculture types...it was actually pretty awkward how much he looked like Nixon.

Today's game is Zito vs. Buhrlelelhe. That's like Raquel Welch in a bikini showdown with Lauren Bacall. It probably would have been a legendary match-up in previous years. Right now...not so much.

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Today's baseball dress-etiquete question:

Shall I wear a paper bag over my head while watching the Giants in my own living room?

by Moggeee on May 17, 2008 10:39 AM PDT   0 recs

It is more eco-friendly than plastic.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on May 17, 2008 10:41 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Plastic without ventilation, however

...takes me out of the game faster—a blessing

by Moggeee on May 17, 2008 10:44 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Paralel Universe

Zito can’t pitch; I can’t spel

by Moggeee on May 17, 2008 10:43 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

What section today?

I’ll be bitching about our team from VB 307

by seyheystretch on May 17, 2008 10:55 AM PDT   0 recs

I'll be Sec 142, Row 21

Stop by and share an awkward silence.

Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.

by Kitspool on May 17, 2008 11:45 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

VB 311, I’ll be there with the Mayor tonight.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 17, 2008 11:45 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

“That whole bay of pigs thing” = 2008 Giants?

people hate you, but why do they hate you? because the are jealous!

by satyricrash on May 17, 2008 11:34 AM PDT   0 recs

Sorry man. I was just… I was hungry is all, and it was just sitting there in the fridge with nobody’s name on it….

I just assumed it was up for grabs.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on May 17, 2008 11:57 AM PDT   0 recs

Buhrlelelhe

Methinks mesmells a Steve Martin reference.

(sniff)

No wait, that’s just me.

Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?

by Stuttering John Tamargo on May 17, 2008 12:32 PM PDT   0 recs

6:05 First Pitch

Zito will have the benefit of a shiny hitter’s backdrop for the first couple of innings.

Maybe he lasts past the 5th….

by Lars The Wanderer on May 17, 2008 12:53 PM PDT   0 recs

twiddles thumbs

by paboperfecto on May 17, 2008 12:59 PM PDT   0 recs

guess I can’t put stars around that.

by paboperfecto on May 17, 2008 1:00 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

It is much better if I picture you saying "twiddles thumbs"

...as you actually twiddle your thumbs.

Or something….

by Lars The Wanderer on May 17, 2008 1:07 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

That’s what I* usually use asterisks for, to indicate an action that I’m doing. Guess I can start using it to *bol*d random *letters* as I typ*e.

by paboperfecto on May 17, 2008 1:09 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

That’s weird, I swear I got those asterisks in right.

by paboperfecto on May 17, 2008 1:09 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Guess it decided some of my opening asterisks were really my closing asterisks from before, looks like the parser isn’t that great.

by paboperfecto on May 17, 2008 1:10 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

He’d damn well better. All the alcohol from the Kahlua I put in the brownies burned off in the oven. They’re no good for getting intoxicated.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 17, 2008 1:23 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I must politely decline.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 17, 2008 1:28 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I love cooking and baking with alcohol. For my next trick I’m attempting coconut rum cake.

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 17, 2008 2:32 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

You can rudely decline. I don’t bruise.

by Lars The Wanderer on May 17, 2008 1:31 PM PDT   0 recs

If I have to put up with Hawk fucking Harrelson again tonight, I’m gonna hang myself. Granted that might be better than watching Zito, but I’m just not ready to go yet.

"In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces."

by sfgiantsflgators on May 17, 2008 3:05 PM PDT   0 recs

All I gotta say. . .

This is for Allah. . . and it’s goin’ way out there sucka.

For WilltheThrill, this is Jon Miller saying goodnight. . . .

by WilltheThrill on May 17, 2008 4:02 PM PDT   0 recs

I’m going to turn down the TV volume and get the Giants’ audio from mlb.com. I pause the picture with my TIVO remote until it syncs with the internet feed. Yes, I’m that desparate to not have to listen to Hawk Harrelson. I knew I couldn’t deal with him from the first batter yesterday when Freddie Lewis walked and he said you can’t walk a speedy singles hitter like that. You should just throw the ball right down the middle and make him hit his way on. He made it sound like Lewis is Brian Bocock and will either make out or hit a single.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on May 17, 2008 5:39 PM PDT   0 recs

my electricity is out. dammit heatwave!
so while i listen to the game on radio, i have no choice but to eat all the ice cream in the freezer.

Ryan Paul: Two four-letter words are better than one.

by The Enchanter on May 17, 2008 5:42 PM PDT   0 recs

got the AARP lineup going tonight

except Ort is batting 8th.

Bonds stands alone.

Proud adopted parent of future big league slugger Thomas Neal

by nostocksjustbonds on May 17, 2008 5:47 PM PDT   0 recs

I’d feel alot better about all these losses if it was all the young guys on the field. They might as well send Eugenio Velez to Fresno because he’s not playing at all.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on May 17, 2008 5:54 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

They should probably do that anyway

Only 929 games until the end of Zito's contract

by thehavenot on May 17, 2008 5:56 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I think they should play Velez everyday. If he’s horrible, so what?? We won’t win the World Series?? Next year we’ll have Frandsen back and possibly Travis Denker will be ready. We need to find out if Velez can play.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on May 17, 2008 6:00 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I couldn't take Velez every day.

Even knowning that this team isn’t going anywhere. The urge to rush the field and kick him in the shins every time he swung at the first pitch would be overwhelming

by Lars The Wanderer on May 17, 2008 6:03 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Zito start, so start with the alcohol

Tonight, it’s Newcastle.

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on May 17, 2008 6:05 PM PDT   0 recs

jagerbombs for me

one for each run he gives up

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:06 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

you’re going to wind up in the ER if you do that.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on May 17, 2008 6:06 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

i figure they pull him at 8.. ill be hammered and ready to go out

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:08 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

8 earned runs? you’ll be going out at 6:30.

Ryan Paul: Two four-letter words are better than one.

by The Enchanter on May 17, 2008 6:10 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

im just praying for no grand slams, i dont wanna do 4 in a row

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:08 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

yick

that would be like drinking an entire bottle of Nyquil

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on May 17, 2008 6:09 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I like the way that Ramirez with his .130 batting average and zero major league homeruns, flipped the bat like he was Barry Bonds when he hit his first major league homerun last night.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on May 17, 2008 6:06 PM PDT   0 recs

remember when lastings did that 2 years ago? some people are just born cocky

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:07 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

to be fair

the dude IS one of the 1,000 best players in the world, and probably spent the first 18 years of his life as the best player on the field. But yeah, for reals, he’s a dick.

Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz

by lyricalkiller on May 17, 2008 6:37 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

no runs yet

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on May 17, 2008 6:09 PM PDT   0 recs

its hard NOT to give up runs with a whip that high

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:11 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

That WHIP hurts me almost as much as the leather kind.

My Dave Righetti is better than your Dave Righetti.

by howtheyscored on May 17, 2008 6:12 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

fewer changeups plz

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on May 17, 2008 6:11 PM PDT   0 recs

i wonder if pitch fx

ever thinks his fastball is a changeup

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:12 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

if some one 0 for 19

career vs the giants gets a hit off zito..

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:11 PM PDT   0 recs

3-2 on everybody

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on May 17, 2008 6:14 PM PDT   0 recs

Man...

This is going to be a long game

by Lars The Wanderer on May 17, 2008 6:14 PM PDT   0 recs

im listening to some music from 2000

maybe it will bring 2000 zito back

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:14 PM PDT   0 recs

Burning Airlines?

The Faint?
The White Stripes?

Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz

by lyricalkiller on May 17, 2008 6:41 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Damn

I got the wrong year. Er, Outkast? Badly Drawn Boy? Radiohead?

Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz

by lyricalkiller on May 17, 2008 6:50 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

DON'T GO IN THAT ROOM!

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on May 17, 2008 6:15 PM PDT   0 recs

Zito has great career numbers against the White Sox. If Kenny Williams is like Sabean, maybe we can get the White Sox to take him.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on May 17, 2008 6:15 PM PDT   0 recs

I've got Kruk and Papa

I don’t really like Papa. But he’s okay.

Only 929 games until the end of Zito's contract

by thehavenot on May 17, 2008 6:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I don’t like Papa. He’s not okay. He’s boring and dull. And his voice is unpleasant.

It's my blarg! Quick Pitch

by can of corn on May 17, 2008 6:20 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Fine with me

Only 929 games until the end of Zito's contract

by thehavenot on May 17, 2008 6:21 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Two hits to begin?

Who’s pitching? Zito?

Oh, yeah.

Only 929 games until the end of Zito's contract

by thehavenot on May 17, 2008 6:16 PM PDT   0 recs

wow that went far.. loonnngg strike

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:16 PM PDT   0 recs

On days Zito is scheduled to pitch, they should warm up Yabu right alongside of him.

Brian Sabean's new dad: Firm believer in corporal punishment

by rxmeister on May 17, 2008 6:17 PM PDT   0 recs

tiny strikezone

hopefully buerlhe has the same zone

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:17 PM PDT   0 recs

Honestly

how could someone suck at pitching THIS bad???

by bondslegend on May 17, 2008 6:18 PM PDT   0 recs

Sweet!

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on May 17, 2008 6:18 PM PDT   0 recs

that couldnt have worked any better

although i think omar would have just thrown him out at 3rd anyways

by Azmanz on May 17, 2008 6:18 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Haha!

Way to avoid the ball

by Lars The Wanderer on May 17, 2008 6:18 PM PDT   0 recs

AUTO OUT!!

Ryan Paul: Two four-letter words are better than one.

by The Enchanter on May 17, 2008 6:18 PM PDT   0 recs

Zito plus bad luck = AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!

Only 929 games until the end of Zito's contract

by thehavenot on May 17, 2008 6:18 PM PDT   0 recs

Oh, I thought there was a guy at first

Never mind.

Only 929 games until the end of Zito's contract

by thehavenot on May 17, 2008 6:18 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I hate it when umps won't call a third strike

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on