Covering my bases....
by Grant on Apr 9, 2008 12:42 PM PDT
56 comments
Games like last night’s remind us what Aprils are supposed to be. We’re supposed to charge into the beginning of the season thinking, hey, this team will probably stink, but OMG WE HAVE A CHANCE. Maybe Aaron Rowand has the exact same season! Maybe Randy Winn goes superflukecrazy again! Maybe Jose Castillo taps into to some reservoir of latent talent and has a breakout season! Maybe Ray Durham does something that resembles anything! Anything can happen! Dustiny! Bochiny! You’re gonna like these kids!
That’s how it’s supposed to be. We’re hopeful in April, and then we’re violently flagellated into reality one game at a time. That’s how it worked the last couple of seasons. The pattern of abuse is reassuring. This giving up in February stuff is all new to me, so forgive me for getting excited after last night’s win. Hell, I even made my apathy a badge of pride less than a week ago. One walk-off home run can’t change that, so I suppose it’s time for a binding contract:
How I Intend To Make It through the 2008 Giants Season with My Sanity:
- Under the Emotionally Disingenuous Acts Act of 2008, I reserve the right to be apathetic about losses, but I also reserve the right to get excited about meaningless wins.
- Any promise shown by a young player is due to emerging talent, not sample-size chicanery.
- Any struggles by an old player are due to age-related suckery, not sample-size chicanery.
- Two parts bourbon, one part sweet vermouth, a dash of bitters, and a maraschino cherry – all stirred with the stick of gum from a pack of 1989 Topps.
Just four to start, but the floor is open to amendments. What ignorance-is-bliss policies should be added to this bill of rights?
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First, you bitches!
Funny, I found myslef thinking, "If they win another four games in a row, they'll be at .500!"
It could happen.
Yeah, right. Hello apathy, my old friend.
2008 Giants: A steaming pile of scrap!
by Goofus on Apr 9, 2008 12:48 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
See, it doesn't need to be four in a row. They could win two, lose one, win two, lose one, win two, lose one and then it's the same! With all the permutations possible to make up four games it almost seems unlikely that it won't happen!
by paboperfecto on Apr 9, 2008 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
5. Penis jokes. Lots of penis jokes.
http://www.baycityball.com
by xanthan on Apr 9, 2008 12:50 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Only a prick like you would make a dickhead comment like that.
2008 Giants: A steaming pile of scrap!
by Goofus on Apr 9, 2008 12:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ouch
Goofus with the bald-faced barb!
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Apr 9, 2008 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Speaking of...
The "Bo... Cock..." chant that I heard during the telecast last night- is that new?
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
by hairball on Apr 9, 2008 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I was sure someone from this blog started that when I heard it.
by paboperfecto on Apr 9, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
6. A poor performance by Zito is strictly due to his history of being a slow starter. In reality, he rocks, not gets rocked.
2008 Giants: A steaming pile of scrap!
by Goofus on Apr 9, 2008 12:51 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
7. Success and progress aren't measured in wins and losses
I don't know what the measurement should be, but Lincecum looked like he pitched pretty well last night, and he does provide excitement every time he goes out there.
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 9, 2008 12:52 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Grant,
Your #4 is my current favorite drink. It got me through a long and boring winter. Here's to good taste in cocktails!
No, really, I have updated my blog this year: http://skaldheim.livejournal.com/tag/baseball
by Skaldheim on Apr 9, 2008 12:56 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Try it with Rye whiskey - like Segram's VO special, or rittenhouse - its tre good.
And Boom Goes the Dynamite
by Andy from DC on Apr 9, 2008 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would ammend #4
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No my team hasn't won since a nigh' and a week,
gotta get drunk man till I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
one drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer!
by paboperfecto on Apr 9, 2008 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Face down in the gutter won't admit defeat though his clothes are soiled and black,
He's a big, strong man with a childs mind, don't you take his booze away!
by marcello on Apr 9, 2008 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That song rules. You ever listen to the Street Dogs, Dropkick's spinoff?
And Boom Goes the Dynamite
by Andy from DC on Apr 9, 2008 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
No, I haven't, sadly. I just went to their website though, and I'm going to have to check them out. Thanks for the tip.
by marcello on Apr 9, 2008 6:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
3 parts bourbon ths year. Maker's Mark is the perfect balance of taste and cost effectiveness.
I like using the cobbler cherries you can get from trader joe's. I'm pretty sure that maraschinos are paper pulp held together with embalming fluid.
The Manhatten's Scottish cousin, the Rob Roy, makes a nice drink as well.
you can't block the Bocock
by oldjacket on Apr 9, 2008 2:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
For some reason, I was never big on Maker's Mark. My taste/cost balance friend is Bullitt.
...and I'm actually too lazy to worry about cherries.
by Grant on Apr 9, 2008 7:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Bullit is pretty good, and it comes in a cool bottle.
http://www.baycityball.com
by xanthan on Apr 9, 2008 8:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Since there's been a Trader Joe's reference in this thread, may I also recommend the Rebel Yell?
by da5id on Apr 9, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's my whiskey and coke brand....
I don't feel guilty about mixing it, and it's better quality than the Evan Williams, or whatever, that's the same price.
Loves the Rebel Yell.
by Grant on Apr 11, 2008 5:49 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I found bullitt both back east AND in England... but not in California until recently.
When TJs started carrying it, I bought a bottle... and found that I really prefer Knob Creek.
If you are going to put cherrys and vermouth and shit in it, though, may as well go with Jim Beam of Old Granddad.
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN
by zenbitz on Apr 10, 2008 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I like Maker's more than Knob Creek, and I don't love Maker's. I just never got into Knob Creek.
Of the big-small whiskeys/bourbons, I like Woodford Reserve.
by Grant on Apr 11, 2008 5:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#8:
Any game in which 95% of the bullpen makes an appearance does not indicate a Felipe-esque overuse of arms or a crappy performance by the starter, but a reflection of the egalitarian, "everyone gets to play!" philosophy that GAMERS have.
Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.
by Kitspool on Apr 9, 2008 1:01 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Gamers want the ball, but they also want others to get the ball, too.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Apr 9, 2008 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#9 - any struggles by our up and coming closer are due to lack of work, not head case or injury.
Oh and I was there last night, in the bottom of the 11th, in my spanking new matt cain jersey, in section 311, and damn if it wasn't glorious.
And Boom Goes the Dynamite
by Andy from DC on Apr 9, 2008 1:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
An amendment to #1
Every loss is a step towards the #1 overall pick.
Every win is a step towards not being one of the worst teams of all time.
#10 Steve S' Minor Lines
by hammystyle on Apr 9, 2008 1:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
#11 You are a Gamer and Gamers don't lose their sanity
by wilriv21 on Apr 9, 2008 1:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
#13 Cause really, how can you get upset when you already know how bad it's going to be?
by m3lkor on Apr 9, 2008 1:25 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Damn Right
At least this team didn't come out the gates spreading false hope by having a *gasp* win streak. No player on this team outside of Cain and Lincecum has shown anything that resembles above average play. Zito even came out throwing 82 mph fastballs....as our opening day starter!!!! The bar has been set and it is laying on the floor.
by WilliamVanLandingham on Apr 9, 2008 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"The bar has been set and it is laying on the floor."
That's great. It should be the slogan for the 2008 Giants.
Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.
by Kitspool on Apr 9, 2008 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#14 The Giants will invent new and creative ways to hit into double plays that will amuse and astound. Last night's 3-5 twin killing proved that this team will keep us on our toes all season long!
by SheboyganBratwurst on Apr 9, 2008 1:40 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
It made so little sense from up top - we couldn't see that he tagged EV, and were like OMG THERE"S NO FORCE!??!??!
And Boom Goes the Dynamite
by Andy from DC on Apr 9, 2008 1:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I had the opposite reaction, since I was sitting behind third base. I about cried when I realized that Gonzalez had stepped on first before gunning down Velez at third.
by SheboyganBratwurst on Apr 9, 2008 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
...and overuse the old 6-4-3 like they're going out of style (which they may be with all the new creative DPs the Giants will find).
by paboperfecto on Apr 9, 2008 2:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#15) Every stolen base is proof of a good offense. Every caught stealing is evidence that the umpire is wearing Dodger underwear.
Delaying the disappointment: I adopt Hector Sanchez because he's only 17.
by tedfordfan on Apr 9, 2008 2:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
#16 We will enjoy watching teams find new ways to score, like the creative scoring from second on a grounder to the second baseman, or Ort purposefully dropping the fly in left so that Green doesn't get a SF and has a lower batting average.
by paboperfecto on Apr 9, 2008 2:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
But we will not enjoy watching teams repeat the new and innovative way to score, like scoring on a grounder from second base.
Delaying the disappointment: I adopt Hector Sanchez because he's only 17.
by tedfordfan on Apr 9, 2008 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That actually worked out...
Because not only did it screw greene's BA, but it also nailed the lead runner.
Now that is creative ! :)
Eugeniooooooo!!!!
by FairweatherFan on Apr 9, 2008 2:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#17 cheaper tickets on craigslist!
holla!
Dodgers fans eat their young.
by redhornet78 on Apr 9, 2008 2:24 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Muted slightly by the demise of the Double Play Ticket Window in favor of StubHub :*(
by SheboyganBratwurst on Apr 9, 2008 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#18
To see how many different ways a Giants starting pitcher can duck the question "is it frustrating to pitch 7 innings of shutout ball and get a no decision?"
Someone get Damon Minor's agent on the phone stat!
by fanofvanlandingham on Apr 9, 2008 2:31 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I think if any team is set up for the classic no-hitter loss it is this one.
by paboperfecto on Apr 9, 2008 2:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#19
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 9, 2008 3:04 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
#20 More Merkin
http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/3/37/Merkin_1.jpg/180px-Merkin_1.jpg
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark
by MeSoKrabby on Apr 9, 2008 3:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Or
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark
by MeSoKrabby on Apr 9, 2008 3:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
#21
To truly savor each win, every second, until the next game. Because it's probably not going to happen again for a while.
by baetown415 on Apr 9, 2008 3:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
#22
Weird fanart.
SAVE_US.RAY
Get yer Nattowear
by Natto on Apr 9, 2008 3:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
22.5: irking Natto with random rally images.
And Boom Goes the Dynamite
by Andy from DC on Apr 9, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
To Quote Peter LaFleur...
"I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal."
That's what this season feels like to me. Absolutely no expectations whatsoever make every hit feel like a win, and every win feel like a world championship. On a related note, is there a Stockholm Syndrome for sports fans?
"Branca throws..."
by Takimoto on Apr 9, 2008 6:31 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
#23
Rooting for not losing 100 games; then the season will have exceeded expectations.
by marklar on Apr 10, 2008 8:30 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
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