All Optimism, All Season
by Grant Brisbee on Apr 8, 2008 1:35 PM PDT
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PrintIt's April 8th. The Giants are bad. We have six more months of nothing to dissect. The Mercury News tried to make us feel worse, but this team is like a morphine injection right to the spine. There's a little pain, but it's fading.
So, quick! Before the pain moves from dull ache to complete numbness! We have to get our last jabs of incredulous pessimism in! In July, I'll be posting something about how Fred Lewis's .269/.340/.412 line is the best on the team, and how he might be playing himself into a starting job for 2009. You'll put up a fanpost in August with a title of, "John Bowker: 1B of the future?" We'll all start to root around for optimism, looking under the movie theater seat during Leonard Part 6 and trying to find a Junior Mint that hasn't been stepped on, or at least, still has most of the chocolate shell. Who cares if the chocolate has a thumbprint on it? You can't taste a thumbprint. Usually.
But we still have time to be absolutely stunned by how awful this team is. Here's a list of NL teams. The players to the right of the teams are hitters who are better suited to be a cleanup hitter than is Bengie Molina:
Atlanta - McCann, Teixeira, Jones, Johnson, Francoeur
Philadelphia - Howard, Utley, Rollins, Burrell, Jenkins
Mets - Delgado, Wright, Alou, Beltran
Washington - Johnson, Zimmerman, Milledge, Young
Milwaukee - Fielder, Weeks, Hall, Hardy, Braun, Hart
St. Louis - Pujols, Glaus, Ankiel, Duncan
Cubs - Soto, Lee, Ramirez, Soriano, Fukudome
Cincinnati - Encarnacion, Dunn, Griffey, Votto, Arroyo
Pittsburgh - LaRoche, Doumit, Bay, Nady
Houston - Berkman, Wigginton, Tejada, Lee, Pence
Arizona - Jackson, Reynolds, Byrnes, Young, Upton, Owings
San Diego - Gonzalez, Kouzmanoff, Greene, Hairston
Los Angeles - Martin, Loney, Kent, Jones, Kemp
Every team in the National League has at least four offensive players the Giants could use as their cleanup hitter. I probably forgot a bunch, and maybe I stretched it with hitters like Kelly Johnson. Still, it's worth noting that during every game this season, we'll be facing a team with a #7 hitter that could bat cleanup for us. Every team, including the ones that usually get lumped in with the Giants, like the Pirates and Marlins. They can't even sniff this kind of offensive ineptitude. Please.
So today is open fun fact day. Did you know that ___? For example: Did you know that the Giants only have two players with more than one RBI? Did you know that 55 players have as many or more home runs than does the entire Giants team? Open fun fact day. Get digging. Think of a column Jayson Stark might write the day after he was dumped on his wedding day.
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'tis true
The Giants are HORRIBLE :(
First.
Eugeniooooooo!!!!
BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE PEDRO
or something. This team is SOO much better without him.
Eugeniooooooo!!!!
True..
His .592 OPS this year would raise the Giants total up a bit...
Did you know that Pedro's OBP is above his SLG?
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
DId you know that..
The Chicago White Sox are on pace to score 1041 runs this year?
The Giants are on pace to score 370 runs this year?
The Colorado Rockies are on pace to score 277 runs this year?
The Giants OPS this year is .573?
The average major league OPS this year is .726?
37.4% of Giants fans will commit suicide this year?
The Basil Fawlty Moderating Strategy:
"We could run a nice blog here if we didn't have all these members getting in the way."
I said that wrong, lemme try again
Did you know that... as of right now, Arizona has 16 homers, we have 16 runs...
17 homers
Reynolds hit his 5th last night
"I was tied to a chair and he had a baseball bat. Pissing him off was the smart thing to do."
You forgot that the Giants have some guys who would be better cleanup hitters than Molina:
Rowand, Winn, Cain...
No, really, I have updated my blog this year: http://skaldheim.livejournal.com/tag/baseball
Did you know that
you included Bronson Arroyo and Micah Owings as players who are better suited to bat cleanup than Bengie Molina?
Oh.
I see what you did there.
Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.
Fun project
Which AL pitchers could hit cleanup on the Giants? So far I have Dontrelle Willis and CC Sabathia.
SAVE_US.RAY
Get yer Nattowear
He forgot Carlos Zambrano though.
Weird.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
obligatory Arroyo youtube
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0I-2YW0IzUU
Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.
free agents
here is a list of remaining free agents that would hit clean-up on this team:
b. lamar bonds
mike piazza
reggie sanders
sammy sosa
preston wilson
Dodgers fans eat their young.
Did you know...
Joe Crede’s grand slam lifts White Sox to 7-4 win over Minnesota
"You're all worthless and weak, now drop and give me twenty!"
Did you know...
Torii Hunter hits grand slam in ninth to give Angels 6-4 win over Indians
"You're all worthless and weak, now drop and give me twenty!"
Did you know...
Joe Crede is .393/.419/.679 with 2HRs and 10 rbi?
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Did you know that the Giants have a 1st baseman version of Jack Cust in their farm system, who has hit 20 or more homers 8 times and 30 or more on 3 occasions, including last year, and yet they stubbornly refuse to promote him, ostensibly based on age, when he's a full 5 years younger than their starting shortstop?
Give McClain a fucking chance already!!!!!!
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
Dear Abby,
Hi,
My name is Scott McClain. Here are my stats. Note all the home runs. I'm like Crash Davis and Jack Cust combined. And I'm a first baseman. Yet the Giants prefer to start Rich Aurilia and Dan Ortmeier instead of me, and have Benji Molina as their cleanup hitter. So anyway, on to my question...
What friggin' universe am I living in, where I haven't been at least extended a good long look yet???
Signed,
"Die Hard in Fresno"
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
But that would that old guy would be blocking....um...Rich Aurilia? Wait a minute, whose older McClain or Aurilia? If its McClain then we're good.
by WilliamVanLandingham on Apr 8, 2008 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Crap, I was willing to give Sabean a break on this one, even if it was a matter of a couple months.
by WilliamVanLandingham on Apr 8, 2008 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
It really does make you wonder, don't it?
I mean, does Brian Sabean even know he's got this guy in Fresno? WTF to the nth degree!
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco?
I know, I know
He's playing Richie to increase Richie's trade value, then will trade for a legit 3rd baseman while Scott gets on the bus from Fresno...
Too bad the 3rd baseman will be from Pee Wee league....
WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THIS?
Has this strategy ever once worked for the Giants? Ever? Once?
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
Sorry
I'm just tired of seeing "He's playing Terrible Veteran X ('Can he play CF?' -howie) to increase his trade value."
I'm at the point where I don't believe that.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
Groug, I was trying to be funny...
The reality of the situation is that there is no reason for the situation.
Other than goofy theories, veteran "savvy" allegiance, and/or ineptitude of GM / management.
Oh, it's fine
I'm just at the point where that phrase drives me irrationally crazy.
No biggie.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
YES
Watching Durham et. al. play lousy does nothing to entice teams into trading for them. It might prove they're injury free, but with this gang it's more likely to result in them injuring themselves.
by natteringnabob on Apr 8, 2008 2:53 PM PDT up reply actions
Hey!
I have never once asked that question!
I was leading the charge to change it to "WILL he play CF?" though. That never caught on.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Apr 8, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I offer my most sincere apologies.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
Aurilia had one good year back in 2000. Durham was a pretty good player up to a couple years ago. Neither has any trade value, since every other front office in MLB is laughing at the fact that the Giants are keeping these clowns on a major league roster.
This is just nitpicky
But Aurilia had more than one good year. In fact, 2001 was a great year for Rich Aurilia.
Only 964 games until the end of Zito's contract
Not two years...
...more like 8 months older. Aurilia was born in September 71, McClain in May 72.
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
Stop talking crazy!
It has pea and nut in the name. Why would they name it that if wasn't at least ONE of those two things? Come on, use your brain.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Apr 8, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Then I have some really bad news for you about the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
Five words, two lies.
Anyone else think the Justice League of National is more strategic & interesting than the Justice League of America?
Nicely played.
A well thrown pitch, Mayor.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Apr 8, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions
From wiki
"The plant's name combines the morphemes pea and nut, causing some confusion as to the nature of the fruit. Although a nut in the culinary sense, in the botanical sense the fruit of the peanut plant is a woody, indehiscent legume and not a nut. The word pea describes the edible seeds of many other legumes in the Fabaceae family, and in that sense, a peanut is a kind of pea."
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark
Now it's a fruit!?!
I'm never eating pealegumefruitnuts again.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Apr 8, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Pop quiz:
Who here knows what the word "indehiscent" means without looking it up? (I didn't.)
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
It doesn't mean "naked"?
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
by howtheyscored on Apr 8, 2008 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Did you know that...
The worst offense in modern history was the 1910 Chicago White Sox, who "hit" .211/.269/.261. Yes it was the deadball era but that sucked even then. OPS+ of 73, worst in modern times.
So far the Giants have an OPS+ of 55.
DID YOU KNOW
The SFGiants have at least 4 starting position players who would not be starting on any other team in MLB? Maybe 5 if you count Roberts.
Did you know that..
of the top 3 offensive performers by VORP on BP, two have no picture available (Velez, Lincecum) and one has a Philly hat on.
Also of the top 7 hitters by VORP, 4 are pitchers (Lincecum, Sanchez, Valdez, and Correia)
Bad
Lincecum is not a good hitter. It's Tomko time!
by natteringnabob on Apr 8, 2008 2:53 PM PDT up reply actions
5 Leonards but Only 1 .......
There's only one Brian Bocock,
One Brian Bocock,
Walking along,
Singing a song,
Walking in a Bocock wonderland.
Oooh, I got one...
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 3:28 PM PDT reply actions
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions
I always thought..
He was talking about Milano in that picture.
Speaking of Alyssa, here's another "Fun Fact"...
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 5:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Exhibit A
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Exhibit B
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Exhibit C
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions
"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f**kin' amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK
by Josh from Hollywood on Apr 8, 2008 5:59 PM PDT up reply actions
she was so hot when I was growing up...come to think of it she isnt all that bad right now.
I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.
A little optimistic?
The SFGiants have at least 4 starting position players who would not be starting on any other team in MLB? Maybe 5 if you count Roberts.
You mean The SFGiants have at least 4 starting position players who would not be on the 25 man roster of any other team in MLB.
Did you know..
Omar's rehab isn't going so well and nobody cares.
Dammit, Grant
Why are you trying to mix smart-assing with statistical fact? I can totally do the first but in my world, it's not a mixed drink!
I feel so left out.
He is Vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Dave Righetti. PRAY TO HIM!
Too damn old :(
I'd rather see Orty suffer than Mclain. I want to see players that have a chance of helping this team 2 years from now. Otherwise, it's a waste of time.
Eugeniooooooo!!!!
Did you know....
the Giants blow? and that rhymes. I know, i'm clever, and i'm somewhat bitter because i'm in texas and can't watch the Giants games
Did you know...
The Giants have a PECOTA projected (including this season's results) 4% chance of making the playoffs!
That higher than the Orioles!
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN
pretty bad like a FOX!
have you looked at the AL East standings?
Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.
The proof is in the pudding
Well, as I said to calm myself over the past few years, the bright side of the Giants completely sucking is that Sabean can no longer possibly think that he's any good. Had he left while still riding Barry's coattails, he could have deluded himself. It's just plain inexcusable how he has failed to plan for this.
My only solace is that I'm a new father and I will probably never have less time to follow the Giants than this year.
Did you know...
you can listen live to minor league games at MiLB.com? i'll tell you what, i'm enjoying listening about noonan, culberson, villalona and company.
Did you know...
That if you took the money from Zito's contract and used it to buy a whole new 25-man team, that team could probably beat the Giants?
Did you know...
The Giants' streak of 50 years without a championship in their current city is the longest running streak of its kind in all four major pro sports?
NO-TITLE TEAMS ... (Year team was established in current city)
MLB
San Francisco Giants (1958)
Houston Astros (1962)
San Diego Padres (1969)
NFL
Minnesota Vikings (1961)*
Atlanta Falcons (1966)
New Orleans Saints (1967)
*Some might argue that the Vikings' NFL championship in 1969 should count as such. It wasn't until the following season that the Super Bowl was considered the NFL championship.
NBA
Atlanta Hawks (1968)
Phoenix Suns (1968)
NHL
St. Louis Blues (1967)
Los Angeles Kings (1967)
That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!
without a championship in their current city
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 9, 2008 12:34 PM PDT up reply actions
Why do the Cubs not count?
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
without a championship in their current city
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 9, 2008 12:34 PM PDT up reply actions
So it's 50 years in the city without any championships there ever?
That could have been phrased better.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
Did you know...
that today will be the first game i attend this year... (i am sure you dont care. hahaha). off to the park... and then i hope that i won't have to take the walk of shame home...
about the walk of shame...
good luck with that
by willsetrakian on Apr 8, 2008 6:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Did you know...
F*&$ all this pessimism...
Did you know that the Giants are on pace to win 41 more games than the Detroit Tigers?
Did you know that Lincecum is on pace to strike out 225 batters and go 20-0? That's a Cy Young, baby.
Did you know that I'll be trying to keep hope alive here on McCC?!
Boo and yah.
Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
Add Mike Hampton to the list of Braves
though technically, he is injured...
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 9, 2008 12:33 PM PDT reply actions
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