Secret Cain Theory
by Yoostey on Apr 24, 2008 11:29 PM PDT
Email
PrintI can only think of one logical reason for Cain's "hard luck." It's gone way farther than just hard luck now.
So what I figure is Cain has to be some HUGE dick behind the scenes, and the Giants hitters truly hate him and refuse to score a damn run for him.
Can't be true can it? I refuse to believe the man saying, "that a baby!" could be a dick.
Any other theories
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hmm...
well earlier in the season, i remember reading something on SFGate about how Cain “took out his frustrations on his girlfriend” or something like that. The next day when I told a friend about it, it was gone, though you could still bring it up on a Google search. Did anybody else notice that, or am I actually crazy?
whoa jees
i have not heard of that
"...and Bocock is in the whole"
I have not heard of that.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
he could give her a good pounding
that may relieve his frustrations.
doesn’t mean he caused her harm, tho.
by positiveuphemism on Apr 25, 2008 2:19 AM PDT up reply actions
man, this took some digging
Cain stoically stood up after each good, but wasted start and insisted he was not distressed by his own fate. Teammates praised Cain’s maturity in handling it, too. Before spring training, however, Cain confessed that he did blow off steam, just not at the ballpark.
“I remember having conversations with my girlfriend and my mom and probably losing it and being upset with situations that happened,” he said. “That was kind of my way of getting it over with and moving on. I was upset about the way our season was going.”
The blowups could not have been that bad. Cain still has the same girlfriend, “and hopefully it doesn’t happen again this year. No matter what my run support was last year, we’ve got to go up from there, and I feel this is a group of guys who are going to be able to do that.”
p.p.s.
link is http://www.sfgate.com/c/a/2008/04/01/SPIEVTV1L.DTL
It appears to be some sort of data file storing the article. If you try to view the article on sfgate the part I quoted above has been removed.
I was scared for a few minuets
..so allow me to present Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain as two sweet, sweet bottles of warming hooch.
It’s no smoking gun like that piece of shit Brett Myers punching his wife on a street corner in Boston. We’ll probably never know exactly what this was all about. I’ll just take it as Cain yelling about stuff, yelling TO the people in his life, not AT them. As someone who yells frequently about her shitty life to friends and loved ones, they all know I’m not yelling at them.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 7:28 AM PDT up reply actions
Seems to me like he was venting. Can’t blame him. If I threw that well I would need to vent, too, and you don’t want to blow up around your teammates less they think you’re upset at them personally, when you’re just upset about the situation.
Right. And venting to an SO can have favorable outcomes. “Cheer up” relations and that. Unless Matt wants to sleep with his teammates too…
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions
Don’t pay attention to me. In my head, most guys are gay. Cainer tho…I never went there with him. It’s like [scene missing].
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions
Coincidence?
That’s funny, because in my head all women are bisexual.
Neglectful father of David Quinowski
Another Scrubs reference that never fails to crack me up is when JD imagines what it’s like inside Turk’s head. In his head is his wife Carla who is hitting on the hospital’s hot female psychiatrist. The psych goes, “wait, you’re not a lesbian.” Carla admits reluctantly that inside Turk’s head she is. The pysch then agrees that she is also a lesbian and they go to make out.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 12:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Ah, Scrubs. I get called out for it regularly, but I truly enjoy that show.
Neglectful father of David Quinowski
boggle
You get called out for liking Scrubs?
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Yes, by a few friends and my sister no less. Partly because the main character is so stereotypically feminine and party because they just don’t like the show. I mean, JD drinks appletinis and completely accepts being called girls names, I guess the ribbing is somewhat deserved since I think his character is awesome.
Also, we all talk a lot of shit to each other, so any opportunity is seized.
Neglectful father of David Quinowski
To be fair JD didn’t get stupidly girly until later on in the series. He wasn’t exactly a man’s man early on, but he miraculously grew female parts in later seasons. That will always be an annoyance to me.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions
I don’t know if Zach Braff could ever play a man’s man, but it would be funny to watch him try. Interestingly, I really only picked up on Scrubs when they were already a few seasons in (Comedy Central was running repeats from 7-8 and WGN from 8-9 so I didn’t get to choose my starting point), so my first exposure to his character was of the female variety. His character always seems weird when I see the first couple of seasons. I guess it’s just what you’re familiar with.
Neglectful father of David Quinowski
That Cox tirelessly called JD “girl’s name” in the first seasons was funny (to me anyway), but when he actually got really girly it became less funny.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 2:21 PM PDT up reply actions
I guess we'll find out...
...when that remake of “High Plains Drifter” he’s starring in comes out.
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
WHAT
Is this a joke?
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
I used to love Scrubs, particularly the first three seasons, maybe a bit of season four. But the past couple years have gotten so bad and pretty darned aggravating. And JD got WAAAAY too girly, it became too much of a schtick for me. But they still have occasional episodes that are pretty darn entertaining, it’s just not nearly as good.
So I understand Scrubs is moving to ABC or CBS next year. Any word on if Zach Braff or Sarah Chalke will be going with it? Or will it end up like ER, with an entirely new cast?
"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler
As far as I have heard all the cast is returning. It hasn’t “officially” been announced that the show is moving to ABC, but it’s all but certain that it is moving.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 27, 2008 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions
What about Bob???
I’m a little concerned that the Comedy Assassin isn’t coming back! Is Dr. Kelso a goner now???
"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler
It looks like Bobbo might be out. I am so saddened by this. Kelso and Janitor are my favorite characters. They constantly bring the funny.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 27, 2008 12:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Cain Non-Support
This is a subject I’ve personally wondered about. However, aren’t you doing Matt a great disservice by speculating
(no real evidence) publicly about his temperment in his personal life based on hearsay? The man has pitched
his guts out for this organization and their fans and doesn’t deserve to be gossiped about. If the team or some of his teammates have an issue with him they can work it out behind the doors of the clubhouse and move on. You are way out of line to even bring it up IMHO.
Maybe they’re all just jealous of his otherworldly skills? You’d think they’d also leave Tim out in the cold because of his own alien cyborg powers, but they know Tim is a ninja and he would fuck their shit up.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 8:31 AM PDT reply actions
Not only would he fuck their shit up, but he would use his cyborg mind control powers to make them score just enough runs to win…maybe Timmy is using his innate cyborg mind control powers to make sure Cain is held back so Timmy can be THE MAN…humm….
Great now we have to get Professor X in here to put limits on Tim’s mind control powers before he goes all Phoenix on us.
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 25, 2008 10:18 AM PDT up reply actions
Mom always did like him better
When I grow up I want to be able to throw a baseball like Timmy…
P.S. Lord
Or Matt…Or Jonathan…Or Merkin. While you’re at it, could I hit like Anvil too?
Mark of Cain
Look people, it’s right there in Genesis. Matty, after apparently doing something awful in the Minors, is now the target of divine retribution. “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the field of play, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the mound, it will no longer yield its wins for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”
are you saying that phil collins and mike rutherford are brothers?
Ryan Paul: Two four-letter words are better than one.
by The Enchanter on Apr 25, 2008 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions
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