Bowker
by Grant Brisbee on Apr 14, 2008 12:50 PM PDT
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PrintBowkermania is running wild. Timpnermania has been cancelled. Refunds at place of mania purchase.
John Bowker didn’t get a lot of preseason attention because:
a. He’s a left-handed corner outfielder in the same system as Nate Schierholtz, who was in AAA while Bowker was in AA.
b. Bowker had a fantastic season in 2007, but it was his first above-average season as a pro. The 2008 season wasn’t supposed to be about major-league debuts, it was supposed to be a demonstration of how last season wasn’t a fluke.
c. While he had his breakout year in a pitcher’s park, he didn’t have a dominating strikeout-to-walk ratio in AA. That doesn’t mean his season wasn’t a good one, it just means we should expect some initial issues with contact.
So that’s how the frontrunner for Rookie of the Year was lost in the shuffle. And, jokes aside, all of those points are still valid. We shouldn’t expect Bowker to be the young player who breaks out, fantastic debut aside. It isn’t realistic.
Nuts to that. After Bowker was drafted, Baseball America was high on him. The rated his power as the best in the Giants’ draft – pretty impressive, considering that was the draft the Giants took Eddy Martinez-Esteve. So it isn’t as if the AA season came out of nowhere; if anything, it was his A-ball performances that were counterintuitive.
And every year, some random semi-prospect gets called up because of special roster circumstances, starts hitting, and doesn’t stop. Preston Wilson, Shannon Stewart, and Chris Duncan are three names that come to mind after five seconds of thinking. Every team has story like that on their roster. Except the Giants, of course. The Giants never get that sort of unexpected leap in performance. It’s one of the reasons they haven’t produced an All-Star since Matt Williams or a useful player since Bill Mueller.
<goonies>
Yeah, well, you know what? This is our random semi-prospect who starts hitting and doesn’t stop for a decade. This one – this, right here. And I don’t care about probabilities and logic. I’m going to be excited about him.
</goonies>
He needs a nickname. This is an Open Bowker thread, but we should try and work in some nicknames. All I can think of are Sha-Na-Na references, and that’s not going to get it done. If just one player like Bowker breaks out, this season won't be a complete disaster.
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Quick!
Someone get on the phone w/ Greg Anderson right away!
Eugeniooooooo!!!!
by FairweatherFan on Apr 14, 2008 12:54 PM PDT reply actions
Bowker?
I don't even know 'er!
uhhhh....
John Boy
Soul Brother Number One
King of Soul
The Crusher
Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.
Team him up with Bocock
And you have the Bo-Bros!
::chirping::
Nothing? Bah, who needs you guys...
Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!
by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 12:57 PM PDT reply actions
Unleash the 'Cock Bowk'
Adopted father of the AnVil / GIANTSPACE™ returns!
by SoFa King Mike on Apr 14, 2008 12:58 PM PDT up reply actions
He's the Cock of the Bowk!
Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!
by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions
For some inspiration
Adopted father of the AnVil / GIANTSPACE™ returns!
by SoFa King Mike on Apr 14, 2008 12:58 PM PDT reply actions
i'm partial to john boy
...but i believe there were some images of mario video game villain bowser in the game day threads. so king koopa may be appropriate. or not.
Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...
by Smoke on the Water on Apr 14, 2008 1:01 PM PDT reply actions
Bowser
i liked this one, and the image is ready made
Olma Rosario; liking the cut of your jib since 2008
Free Angel Joseph from US immigration!
Here's the image I was using.
SPIKE BAT SLAMMER
by parishonvics on Apr 14, 2008 6:37 PM PDT up reply actions
How about...
Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!
by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 1:02 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
he has his own system for analyzing books
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Lil Bow Wow or just Bow Wow
Would it kill to DFA Norillia and keep Bow Wow up for awhile?
by Giants For LIfe on Apr 14, 2008 1:13 PM PDT reply actions
Bowser is cute
But I like "Bow Wow", and the walk-up music is perfect!
¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!
The Jo-ker!
Sorry, I'll keep at it...
Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 1:16 PM PDT reply actions
Timpnermania
What do we do with all these t-shirts? Bumper stickers? Keychains? Do they go to the same place as the SUPER BOWL XLII CHAMPION NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS swag?
"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 14, 2008 1:20 PM PDT reply actions
GIS for "John Bowker"
Dr. Bowker is Professor Emeritus of Orthopaedics and Rehabilitation at the University of Miami School of Medicine, Miami, Florida. During an academic career spanning thirty-seven years he has been involved in every aspect of amputee care, including prevention, improvement of surgical techniques, long-term follow-up, education and advocacy.
The Doctor?
SAVE_US.RAY
Get yer Nattowear
John Bowker = Atomic Dog
His at-bat music could be the George Clinton song of the same name that has "Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah"
Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.
by Kitspool on Apr 14, 2008 1:30 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
I like this.
You can never have too much George Clinton.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to point out that when the Giants listen to me, good things happen.
Why, yes, I am gloating. Thanks for noticing.
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
Love this one
Noonan. Nooooonan!
by Giant Fan in Singapore on Apr 14, 2008 6:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Bowker?
I hardly know 'er!
I was THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME (for 3 days in 1995).
by Mike Benjamin Hit King on Apr 14, 2008 1:38 PM PDT reply actions
*ahem*
http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2008/4/14/398826/bowker-it-s-like-power-but#4630220
Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.
C'mon, get real.
You expect me to read stuff before I post now?
I was THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME (for 3 days in 1995).
by Mike Benjamin Hit King on Apr 14, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
nicknames
Devil's Advocate here.
Why does every nickname have to be based off somebody's name? I want to throw-up every time I hear "J-Rich, F-Rod, A-Rod" etc.
Since we have been so charged, I think we should reach for the sky and come up with something unique. For example, I have implored my brother to name his soon-to-be-born son Farticus Rex. And of course there is the Dave Attell route: Pizza Pussy Santa - "because everyone likes one of those things."
Ok, so I have painted myself into a corner, because I don't know the guy, and I cannot call on personality, or an anecdote, and I can't think of anything timeless like "The Yankee Clipper", also, as much as I want to call my soon-to-be-nephew Farticus Rex, I don't want to hear "Farticus Rex" over the PA when Bowker comes to the plate with the bases loaded in a critical game (a few years down the road to be sure).
So all that I have left is "irrational exuberance" and the fact that the Giants haven't produced a home-grown hitter to be excited about since the beginning of time.
So I am left with:
Home-Grown
HGH (home-grown hitter... wait, this one won't do! Although it would be funny)
and my fave:
Hitter
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:51 PM PDT reply actions
I can't agree with this.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
nicknames
Devil's Advocate here.
Why does every nickname have to be based off somebody's name? I want to throw-up every time I hear "J-Rich, F-Rod, A-Rod" etc.
Since we have been so charged, I think we should reach for the sky and come up with something unique. For example, I have implored my brother to name his soon-to-be-born son Farticus Rex. And of course there is the Dave Attell route: Pizza Pussy Santa - "because everyone likes one of those things."
Ok, so I have painted myself into a corner, because I don't know the guy, and I cannot call on personality, or an anecdote, and I can't think of anything timeless like "The Yankee Clipper", also, as much as I want to call my soon-to-be-nephew Farticus Rex, I don't want to hear "Farticus Rex" over the PA when Bowker comes to the plate with the bases loaded in a critical game (a few years down the road to be sure).
So all that I have left is "irrational exuberance" and the fact that the Giants haven't produced a home-grown hitter to be excited about since the beginning of time.
So I am left with:
Home-Grown
HGH (home-grown hitter... wait, this one won't do! Although it would be funny)
and my fave:
Hitter
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:51 PM PDT reply actions
I'm going to have to agree
Some of the best nicknames ever have nothing to do with their names. "The Big Cat" comes to mind. Maybe something Dodger-related?
John "Bum Smasher" Bowker?
(Sigh) Got to love Mondays and their unintentional sexual references. Is it 5:00 yet?
Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!
by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 2:16 PM PDT up reply actions
We haven't seen what he can do against the Dodgers yet...
...but we have seen him against St Louis. He ate them up like a Card Shark...
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
You can go with the sacramento connection.
Capital Punishment sounds a little too WWF.
The I-80 traffic jam?
you can't block the Bocock
Fu Schnickens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVqQJbskcJs
(NARR)
Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.
sac connection
If you're gonna connect him to sac you have to go with "Tomato".
See http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sacratomato
I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.
I completely agree with this.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
woops
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:52 PM PDT reply actions
That's it!
His nickname is 'Woops'.
people hate you, but why do they hate you? because the are jealous!
Is this one of those happy accidents.
Oh, there is another: Happy Accident
I suppose any player developed under Brian Sabean could have the same nickname.
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Happy Accident
That's enough for me right there.
by natteringnabob on Apr 14, 2008 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions
We could go the anagram route
Jerk Own Hob
Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 2:06 PM PDT reply actions
Jerk Own Hob
That's jerk Own Hob, the greatest there ever was.....
by biff pocoroba on Apr 14, 2008 2:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Would be a good one for Tachner...
Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!
by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Does have a good ring to it...
I always thought Gary Radnich was the voice of Bender from Futurama.
by Giants For LIfe on Apr 14, 2008 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions
guys named John are sometimes called Jack as well (e.g., Jack Kennedy)
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions
off topic, but i'm surprised i haven't heard "speed limit" as an alternate nickname for The Enchanter yet. He wears #55 and throws 98 mph fastballs for God's sake!!
Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...
by Smoke on the Water on Apr 14, 2008 2:20 PM PDT reply actions
Every time Tim throws a pitch
he gets two points added to his driving record.
Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 2:25 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
"Can't Throw 55"
Is better for Zito...
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 2:25 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Johnny Blaze(apologies to Ghost Rider and Method Man)
You know, because he's , like, on fire and stuff?
(Not my image)
"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark
Bowker?
I hardly knew 'er!
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
For proof of how seriously I am taking this thread, check out this and this.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
His real nickname is...
Johnny B
Adopted Giant: John Bowker
"Swing Hard. Swing Early. Swing Often."
by The Agent of Matt Herges on Apr 14, 2008 3:14 PM PDT reply actions
Johnny B. Goode
Adopted father of the AnVil / GIANTSPACE™ returns!
by SoFa King Mike on Apr 14, 2008 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Johnny Please B. Good (we're all so desperate!)
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions
How about Johnny B. Pretty Okay then?
Adopted father of the AnVil / GIANTSPACE™ returns!
by SoFa King Mike on Apr 14, 2008 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Johnny Not B. Dave Roberts
Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Isn't there a rule/clause that lets you name your own offspring?
Adopted Giant: John Bowker
"Swing Hard. Swing Early. Swing Often."
by The Agent of Matt Herges on Apr 14, 2008 3:22 PM PDT reply actions
Or the Mob nickname route
Johnny Sausages
Johnny Banana
Handsome Jack
Johnny Boy
Johnny Moose
Long John (my personal fav)
Gentleman Johnny
Johnny Apes
Dandy Jack
Johnny Bubble Gum
Johnny Keys
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 3:26 PM PDT reply actions
None of those make a lick of sense to me. But I think they're funny.
Johnny Sausages... hee hee.
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions
they're all actual mobsters
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions
Johnny Dumb Grin
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions
For fans of old Japanese sci-fi
Johnny Socko
Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 3:29 PM PDT reply actions
Johnny Mnemonic?
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
there are only two choices
stroker ace
or
captain jack destroyer
by Headhunter Rollins on Apr 14, 2008 3:38 PM PDT reply actions
B-21 Bomber
Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...
by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 4:04 PM PDT reply actions
I like this one.
Adopted Giant: Randy Winn. Can't wait for Zito to start Opening Day '08 so I can get a leg up on my drinking.
by Punch Rockgroin on Apr 14, 2008 6:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Nickname
Just call him Bo...
Bo knows baseball... Bo knows the Giants need a savior... Bo is the savior
Nicknames for Bowker? Shouldn't we be thinking about puns for tonight when Randy Johnson(The Big Unit) faces Bocock?
Make me proud again Hen
by AndYourBirdCanSing on Apr 14, 2008 4:32 PM PDT reply actions
That's a stiff challenge.
It'll be hard for anyone's stick to find a hole.
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
I don't know...the big unit hurls a fair share of balls, and Bocock swings a big stick.
And Boom Goes the Dynamite
by Andy from DC on Apr 14, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Bowker
The Sacramento Dandy
The King of Hitskitzstan
Bowkinit
Johnny Hit-A-Ton
The Other White Outfielder
Kid Superpants
Dodgers fans eat their young.
Bowker... Lowery reincarnation???
I know this may be a stretch but it was enough to turn me from reader to poster so i hope all works. But John Bowker success reminds me a lot of Terrell Lowery’s experience. Terrell came in swining a big stick collected a cool 15 hits in 34 at bats brought an electricity to the team, and then “peaced” out never to be heard from again. I see a similar path with Bowker leading to the eventual Nate callup.
Bowker (and others)
He is John the Battist, who is here to alert us to the future arrival of the Angel of Crush, the Mad Bum, the Alderman (he’s got my vote!), and High Noonan. Also Nate ‘Better Late” (than never) Shierholtz.
Two other suggestions. Fred Lewis - The Answer (to the question who succeeded Barry Bonds in left) and Jose Castillo - Ft. Stopgap (playing on his name in Spanish).
Re Cain - we should give up on all the obvious plays on this last name and come up with something clever that speaks to the wringer he’s being put through. Most tribulations since Job. But I don’t have a particular suggestion.
Last but not least, though the rest of the world refuses to fall into line we should never give up - Lincecum is Tim the Enchanter!
Bam Bam Bowker
This fair-haired young bat-wielding bruiser comes to mind.
I also like “John Dowd”, the fictional, white BLB replacement from the MVP Baseball games, but I think he was a righty.
They say you're a pitcher; you certainly aren't much of a dresser.
Bowker?
I didn’t even know ‘er!
If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?
Too early?
Barry Lamar Bowker… Or does he need to steal some bases first?
by Johnny Disaster on Apr 21, 2008 8:47 AM PDT reply actions
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