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Bowker

Thumb_tiny by Grant on

Bowkermania is running wild. Timpnermania has been cancelled. Refunds at place of mania purchase.

John Bowker didn’t get a lot of preseason attention because:

a. He’s a left-handed corner outfielder in the same system as Nate Schierholtz, who was in AAA while Bowker was in AA.

b. Bowker had a fantastic season in 2007, but it was his first above-average season as a pro. The 2008 season wasn’t supposed to be about major-league debuts, it was supposed to be a demonstration of how last season wasn’t a fluke.

c. While he had his breakout year in a pitcher’s park, he didn’t have a dominating strikeout-to-walk ratio in AA. That doesn’t mean his season wasn’t a good one, it just means we should expect some initial issues with contact.

So that’s how the frontrunner for Rookie of the Year was lost in the shuffle. And, jokes aside, all of those points are still valid. We shouldn’t expect Bowker to be the young player who breaks out, fantastic debut aside. It isn’t realistic.

Nuts to that. After Bowker was drafted, Baseball America was high on him. The rated his power as the best in the Giants’ draft – pretty impressive, considering that was the draft the Giants took Eddy Martinez-Esteve. So it isn’t as if the AA season came out of nowhere; if anything, it was his A-ball performances that were counterintuitive.

And every year, some random semi-prospect gets called up because of special roster circumstances, starts hitting, and doesn’t stop. Preston Wilson, Shannon Stewart, and Chris Duncan are three names that come to mind after five seconds of thinking. Every team has story like that on their roster. Except the Giants, of course. The Giants never get that sort of unexpected leap in performance. It’s one of the reasons they haven’t produced an All-Star since Matt Williams or a useful player since Bill Mueller.

<goonies>

Yeah, well, you know what? This is our random semi-prospect who starts hitting and doesn’t stop for a decade. This one – this, right here. And I don’t care about probabilities and logic. I’m going to be excited about him.

 </goonies>

He needs a nickname. This is an Open Bowker thread, but we should try and work in some nicknames. All I can think of are Sha-Na-Na references, and that’s not going to get it done. If just one player like Bowker breaks out, this season won't be a complete disaster.

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Quick!

Someone get on the phone w/ Greg Anderson right away!

Eugeniooooooo!!!!

by FairweatherFan on Apr 14, 2008 12:54 PM PDT   0 recs

"Babe" Bowker

by wilriv21 on Apr 14, 2008 12:54 PM PDT   0 recs

Bowker?

I don't even know 'er!

uhhhh....

John Boy
Soul Brother Number One
King of Soul
The Crusher

Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.

by delorean on Apr 14, 2008 12:56 PM PDT   0 recs

John Wowker!?

http://www.baycityball.com

by xanthan on Apr 14, 2008 12:56 PM PDT   0 recs

Team him up with Bocock

And you have the Bo-Bros!

::chirping::

Nothing? Bah, who needs you guys...

Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!

by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 12:57 PM PDT   0 recs

Unleash the 'Cock Bowk'

Adopted father of the AnVil / GIANTSPACE™ returns!

by SoFa King Mike on Apr 14, 2008 12:58 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

He's the Cock of the Bowk!

Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!

by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 12:59 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

For some inspiration

Adopted father of the AnVil / GIANTSPACE™ returns!

by SoFa King Mike on Apr 14, 2008 12:58 PM PDT   0 recs

i'm partial to john boy

...but i believe there were some images of mario video game villain bowser in the game day threads. so king koopa may be appropriate. or not.

Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...

by Smoke on the Water on Apr 14, 2008 1:01 PM PDT   0 recs

Bowser

i liked this one, and the image is ready made

Olma Rosario; liking the cut of your jib since 2008
Free Angel Joseph from US immigration!

by Mr Scruff on Apr 14, 2008 1:02 PM PDT   0 recs

agreed

bowser is solid

by fwoty oz on Apr 14, 2008 1:04 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Thirded

SAVE_US.RAY
Get yer Nattowear

by Natto on Apr 14, 2008 1:22 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

quadrupled

by Keenlow on Apr 14, 2008 3:33 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Here's the image I was using.

SPIKE BAT SLAMMER

by parishonvics on Apr 14, 2008 6:37 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

How about...

The Librarian?

Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!

by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 1:02 PM PDT   1 recs

he has his own system for analyzing books

Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 1:42 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Notlinden

Derin McMains had five fingers, but he only used three.

by oooreebay on Apr 14, 2008 1:06 PM PDT   0 recs

Nottoddler has a ring to it as well

Derin McMains had five fingers, but he only used three.

by oooreebay on Apr 14, 2008 1:07 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Tiny II

Adopted Giant Brian Wilson: One of the few reasons to watch this year.

by sfgreg on Apr 14, 2008 1:07 PM PDT   0 recs

Lil Bow Wow or just Bow Wow

Would it kill to DFA Norillia and keep Bow Wow up for awhile?

by Giants For LIfe on Apr 14, 2008 1:13 PM PDT   0 recs

Bowser is cute

But I like "Bow Wow", and the walk-up music is perfect!

¿Julio is tourist in San Francisco? Harper's Bizarre!

by hairball on Apr 14, 2008 7:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

The Jo-ker!

Sorry, I'll keep at it...

Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 1:16 PM PDT   0 recs

VAE PVTO DEVS FIO

by Bhaakon on Apr 14, 2008 1:20 PM PDT   1 recs

Timpnermania

What do we do with all these t-shirts? Bumper stickers? Keychains? Do they go to the same place as the SUPER BOWL XLII CHAMPION NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS swag?

"While conservatives tell you 'leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you 'interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says 'someone will lose.' Not only says it - but insists upon it! ... Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature." BVCE supports SF Dugout and Manny Burriss.

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Apr 14, 2008 1:20 PM PDT   0 recs

GIS for "John Bowker"

Dr. Bowker is Professor Emeritus of Orthopaedics and Rehabilitation at the University of Miami School of Medicine, Miami, Florida. During an academic career spanning thirty-seven years he has been involved in every aspect of amputee care, including prevention, improvement of surgical techniques, long-term follow-up, education and advocacy.

The Doctor?

SAVE_US.RAY
Get yer Nattowear

by Natto on Apr 14, 2008 1:25 PM PDT   0 recs

John Bowker = Atomic Dog

His at-bat music could be the George Clinton song of the same name that has "Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah"

Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.

by Kitspool on Apr 14, 2008 1:30 PM PDT   2 recs

I like this.

You can never have too much George Clinton.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to point out that when the Giants listen to me, good things happen.

Why, yes, I am gloating. Thanks for noticing.

2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.

by EliminateMe on Apr 14, 2008 1:35 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

+1

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on Apr 14, 2008 2:29 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Bowker?

I hardly know 'er!

I was THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME (for 3 days in 1995).

by Mike Benjamin Hit King on Apr 14, 2008 1:38 PM PDT   0 recs

C'mon, get real.

You expect me to read stuff before I post now?

I was THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME (for 3 days in 1995).

by Mike Benjamin Hit King on Apr 14, 2008 1:58 PM PDT to parent up   1 recs

Nick Name

TAKE A BOWKER

by rellubcat on Apr 14, 2008 1:39 PM PDT   0 recs

The Sac Slugger

Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 1:43 PM PDT   0 recs

King Koopa

Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 1:44 PM PDT   0 recs

nicknames

Devil's Advocate here.

Why does every nickname have to be based off somebody's name? I want to throw-up every time I hear "J-Rich, F-Rod, A-Rod" etc.

Since we have been so charged, I think we should reach for the sky and come up with something unique. For example, I have implored my brother to name his soon-to-be-born son Farticus Rex. And of course there is the Dave Attell route: Pizza Pussy Santa - "because everyone likes one of those things."

Ok, so I have painted myself into a corner, because I don't know the guy, and I cannot call on personality, or an anecdote, and I can't think of anything timeless like "The Yankee Clipper", also, as much as I want to call my soon-to-be-nephew Farticus Rex, I don't want to hear "Farticus Rex" over the PA when Bowker comes to the plate with the bases loaded in a critical game (a few years down the road to be sure).

So all that I have left is "irrational exuberance" and the fact that the Giants haven't produced a home-grown hitter to be excited about since the beginning of time.

So I am left with:

Home-Grown
HGH (home-grown hitter... wait, this one won't do! Although it would be funny)
and my fave:

Hitter

Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...

by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:51 PM PDT   0 recs

I can't agree with this.

If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?

by groug on Apr 14, 2008 2:56 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

2nd, jrich is one of my favorite nicknames, 2nd to b diddy

by Azmanz on Apr 14, 2008 6:05 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

nicknames

Devil's Advocate here.

Why does every nickname have to be based off somebody's name? I want to throw-up every time I hear "J-Rich, F-Rod, A-Rod" etc.

Since we have been so charged, I think we should reach for the sky and come up with something unique. For example, I have implored my brother to name his soon-to-be-born son Farticus Rex. And of course there is the Dave Attell route: Pizza Pussy Santa - "because everyone likes one of those things."

Ok, so I have painted myself into a corner, because I don't know the guy, and I cannot call on personality, or an anecdote, and I can't think of anything timeless like "The Yankee Clipper", also, as much as I want to call my soon-to-be-nephew Farticus Rex, I don't want to hear "Farticus Rex" over the PA when Bowker comes to the plate with the bases loaded in a critical game (a few years down the road to be sure).

So all that I have left is "irrational exuberance" and the fact that the Giants haven't produced a home-grown hitter to be excited about since the beginning of time.

So I am left with:

Home-Grown
HGH (home-grown hitter... wait, this one won't do! Although it would be funny)
and my fave:

Hitter

Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...

by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:51 PM PDT   0 recs

I'm going to have to agree

Some of the best nicknames ever have nothing to do with their names. "The Big Cat" comes to mind. Maybe something Dodger-related?

John "Bum Smasher" Bowker?

(Sigh) Got to love Mondays and their unintentional sexual references. Is it 5:00 yet?

Proud pappa of....STEVE HOLM!!

by UnleashTheGore on Apr 14, 2008 2:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

We haven't seen what he can do against the Dodgers yet...

...but we have seen him against St Louis. He ate them up like a Card Shark...

2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.

by EliminateMe on Apr 14, 2008 2:18 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

That decides it!

J-Bow!

Don't think, it could only hurt the ballclub.

by ResDog on Apr 14, 2008 2:28 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

You can go with the sacramento connection.

Capital Punishment sounds a little too WWF.
The I-80 traffic jam?

you can't block the Bocock

by oldjacket on Apr 14, 2008 2:29 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Sac Attack!

2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.

by EliminateMe on Apr 14, 2008 3:30 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Sac Fu?

SAVE_US.RAY
Get yer Nattowear

by Natto on Apr 14, 2008 3:58 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Fu Schnickens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVqQJbskcJs

(NARR)

Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.

by delorean on Apr 14, 2008 4:13 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Sac Tap

by Azmanz on Apr 14, 2008 6:06 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

sac connection

If you're gonna connect him to sac you have to go with "Tomato".

See http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sacratomato

I traded Cody Ransom for Khalil Greene in my PS2 EA Sports MLB'04 game because he sucked there too.

by rock n jock on Apr 14, 2008 5:11 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I completely agree with this.

If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?

by groug on Apr 14, 2008 2:56 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

woops

Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...

by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:52 PM PDT   0 recs

That's it!

His nickname is 'Woops'.

people hate you, but why do they hate you? because the are jealous!

by satyricrash on Apr 14, 2008 1:53 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Is this one of those happy accidents.

Oh, there is another: Happy Accident

I suppose any player developed under Brian Sabean could have the same nickname.

Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...

by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 1:55 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Happy Accident

That's enough for me right there.

by natteringnabob on Apr 14, 2008 4:08 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

+1 from a Jayhawks fan!!

This year really is going to be the best of times and the worst of times. Makes up for that lousy October 2002 through April 2003…both my teams lose in championship games, and the manager and the head coach jump ship…

by tyrannoman on Apr 18, 2008 3:38 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Dark Horse

That's it.

by Sabertooth on Apr 14, 2008 2:01 PM PDT   0 recs

We could go the anagram route

Jerk Own Hob

Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 2:06 PM PDT   0 recs

Jerk Own Hob

That's jerk Own Hob, the greatest there ever was.....

by biff pocoroba on Apr 14, 2008 2:17 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

21

BlackJack

by wilriv21 on Apr 14, 2008 2:07 PM PDT   0 recs

Does have a good ring to it...

I always thought Gary Radnich was the voice of Bender from Futurama.

by Giants For LIfe on Apr 14, 2008 2:18 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

guys named John are sometimes called Jack as well (e.g., Jack Kennedy)

Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 3:28 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Are Cap'n Jack or Stack Jack taken?

"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark

by MeSoKrabby on Apr 14, 2008 3:29 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

The Tomabawk

Dodgers fans eat their young.

by redhornet78 on Apr 14, 2008 2:07 PM PDT   0 recs

off topic, but i'm surprised i haven't heard "speed limit" as an alternate nickname for The Enchanter yet. He wears #55 and throws 98 mph fastballs for God's sake!!

Idolizing Robb Nen since 2002...

by Smoke on the Water on Apr 14, 2008 2:20 PM PDT   0 recs

Every time Tim throws a pitch

he gets two points added to his driving record.

Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?

by Stuttering John Tamargo on Apr 14, 2008 2:25 PM PDT to parent up   1 recs

"Can't Throw 55"

Is better for Zito...

Go Fred Lewis... You're better than the alternative... Yippee...

by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Apr 14, 2008 2:25 PM PDT to parent up   1 recs

Johnny Blaze(apologies to Ghost Rider and Method Man)

You know, because he's , like, on fire and stuff?

(Not my image)

"Candlestick made me a man." - Will Clark

by MeSoKrabby on Apr 14, 2008 2:44 PM PDT   0 recs

J.B.

by WTF on Apr 14, 2008 2:45 PM PDT   0 recs

Bowker?

I hardly knew 'er!

If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?

by groug on Apr 14, 2008 2:56 PM PDT   0 recs

GODDAMMIT!!!

Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.

by delorean on Apr 14, 2008 3:08 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

For proof of how seriously I am taking this thread, check out this and this.

If you like things that are funny, perhaps you will enjoy ChatterBalks Dot Com?

by groug on Apr 14, 2008 3:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Say...

How about Starbucks?

Aurilia sounds like a planet out of StarFox.

by Gabafnerhagen on Apr 14, 2008 2:58 PM PDT   0 recs

His real nickname is...

Johnny B

Adopted Giant: John Bowker

"Swing Hard. Swing Early. Swing Often."

by The Agent of Matt Herges on Apr 14, 2008 3:14 PM PDT   0 recs

Isn't there a rule/clause that lets you name your own offspring?

Adopted Giant: John Bowker

"Swing Hard. Swing Early. Swing Often."

by The Agent of Matt Herges on Apr 14, 2008 3:22 PM PDT   0 recs

Or the Mob nickname route

Johnny Sausages
Johnny Banana
Handsome Jack
Johnny Boy
Johnny Moose
Long John (my personal fav)
Gentleman Johnny
Johnny Apes
Dandy Jack
Johnny Bubble Gum
Johnny Keys

Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Apr 14, 2008 3:26 PM PDT   0 recs