Musical Chairs
by Grant Brisbee on Mar 27, 2008 11:11 AM PDT
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My labelmates at The Good Phight are matching up NL teams with their musically analogous counterparts. Their entry on the Giants:
San Francisco Giants are The Grateful Dead:
Defined for years by the presence of a bloated, drug-addled figurehead who all the fans paid to see, at the expense of developing or addressing the needs of the rest of the group. Owners/management gladly raked in the cash. His abrupt departure left his former comrades and bosses with a purposeless existence. Greatest accomplishments as a group were years in the past, but that didn't stop people from paying ridiculous sums to watch them.
The Grateful Dead comp is a good one. I had a lot more fun with both the Giants and The Dead back in my trial college run in the late '90s. Now...not so much. One is a band that I rarely listen to anymore, and one is draining my life force away every time a veteran codger grounds into a double play. Try and guess which is which. Go on. Guess.
There have to be comparisons out there that are equally as valid. If you've read this site for a while, you know that I'm big on the stilted analogies, so something like this is right in my wheelhouse. My attempts:
Creedence Clearwater Revisited
The bassist and drummer from Creedence Clearwater Revival now play as Creedence Clearwater Revisited. John Fogarty had one of the greatest songwriting runs in rock history. The bassist and drummer went along for the ride like a pair of nursing remoras, and now they're trying to rake in the dough without offering anything but a stale imitation of past greatness.
The Squeeze
The Squeeze's Chris Difford and Glenn Tillbrook were hyped as the next Lennon/McCartney; Bonds and Kent were the closest thing to the next Mays/McCovey. Difford/Tillbrook and Bonds/Kent both did wonderful things -- amazing and wondrous professional achievements. But they'll never be as fondly regarded as the duos that preceded them, and neither the Squeeze nor the Giants are especially relevant now.
Bonus: Rich Aurilia's 2001 season is the equivalent to the Squeeze's keyboard player writing "Tempted."
"Master of Puppets"-era Metallica
For every five minutes of soothing music, there's twenty minues of screaming dissonance that makes you want to put your fist through the wall. Jason Newsted = Aaron Rowand?
Michael Jackson
Obvious, maybe. But if there were ever a final "Family Feud" category of "Crimes Against Nature", number one would be Michael Jackson's unfortunate plastic surgery. Number two would be Bengie Molina hitting cleanup. Oh, dynamic and youthful soul/perenially contending team: I want you back.
Your turn! And thanks to the good pholks at The Good Phight for providing the inspiration.
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the thing that should not be
I'm afraid that if the Giants could approximate the analogy with Puppets-era Metallica they would be dominating the NL West
Rowand
If Rowand leaves the team because Bochey doesn't let him bat in a different spot or play a different position then yeah, I'll compare him to Newstead.
It would also help if Rowand could provide some mean backup vocals. Robert just doesn't quite provide that nastiness that Jason did.
Giant Expectations
by UnleashTheGore on Mar 27, 2008 11:18 AM PDT reply actions
The Giants are the otherworldly teaming of David Bowie and Bing Crosby.
people hate you, but why do they hate you? because the are jealous!
Kent/Bonds = Bowie/Crosby?
Both talented, but not really compatible with each other...
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
by EliminateMe on Mar 27, 2008 12:34 PM PDT up reply actions
Old Man Down the Road
A John Fogerty song that can explain the moldy oldies still hanging around here.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 27, 2008 11:35 AM PDT reply actions
CCR
Well, beat the drum and hold the phone - the sun came out today!
We’re born again, there’s new grass on the field.
A-roundin’ third, and headed for home, it’s a brown-eyed handsome man;
Anyone can understand the way I feel.
Oh, put me in, coach - I’m ready to play today;
Put me in, coach - I’m ready to play today;
Look at me, I can be CENTERFIELD.
Well, I spent some time in the mudville nine, watchin’ it from the bench;
You know I took some lumps when the mighty casey struck out.
So say hey Willie, tell Ty Cobb and Joe Dimaggio;
Don’t say "it ain’t so", you know the time is now.
Yeah! I got it, I got it!
Got a beat-up glove, a homemade bat, and brand-new pair of shoes;
You know I think it’s time to give this game a ride.
Just to hit the ball and touch ’em all - a moment in the sun;
(pop) it’s gone and you can tell that one goodbye
Hey, Wil
Have you seen the video for that? John plays a bat-shaped guitar! It's awesome. They use that video as a warm up on the big screen at my local AAA ballpark. You just have to smile when it comes on.
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
Here's a link on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvyMwXBkvF4
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
much, much, much obliged
Grew up with CCR and was glad when John returned. The unique sounding beginning of the song sends chills up my spine and when he mentions my idol Willie Mays I get this big smile each and everytime.
This song always puts me in a good mood
In my mind the brown-eyed handsome man is Noah Lowry.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 27, 2008 11:54 AM PDT up reply actions
The whole Centerfield album=Giants baseball
"The Old Man Down the Road" – Aurilia, Durham, etc.
"Rock and Roll Girls" – Does Raquel Aurilia count?
"Big Train (From Memphis)" – Cain is from a suburb of Memphis and he's a big guy.
"I Saw It on T.V." – Most of the Giants games for me are seen on TV
"Mr. Greed" – Scott Boras, Barry Zito's agent
"Searchlight" – Looking for offense all season, finding none
"Centerfield" – Tribute to our 800000000 centerfielders
"I Can't Help Myself" – Why I still go to the ballpark
"Vanz Kant Danz" – ...I got nothing. Suggestions?
I stole this vinyl from my mother when I moved out two days after my 18th birthday. I also stole Fleetwood Mac's Rumours and Santana's Abraxas. She's never getting them back. Muahahaha.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 27, 2008 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions
You have good taste
Just remember Stevie's sage advice: keep your visions to yourself.
Hey, "Big Train" sounds good for Matt. Let's start that.
Your 2011 SF Giants: the 2008 Augusta Greenjackets!
its taken i think
then again he's been dead for 70 years, so... who knows
"he walked 18; new league record! Struck out 18, another new league record! He also hit the sportswriter, the PA announcer, the bull mascot twice..."
by i did my job on Mar 27, 2008 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions
2002 Giants...
The Tumthumping and Barbie Girl of MLB.
Giant Expectations
by UnleashTheGore on Mar 27, 2008 11:36 AM PDT reply actions
But at least those two bands had a couple of hits, which is more than you can say about the '08 Giants.
http://www.baycityball.com
Ouch
So that means we aren't going to get two hits this year? Damn.
by WilliamVanLandingham on Mar 27, 2008 12:34 PM PDT up reply actions
Journey
Barry Bonds=Steve Perry.
Larry Baer=Neal Schon
"Don't Stop Believing"=2002 season (right up to the 7th inning of Game 6)
"Separate Ways"=Bonds' goodbye last year, Perry's last great moment before leaving the band.
Also, in this analogy, AT&T Park in 2008=Konocti Harbor. Lots of people still coming out to have a good time, but they're not really sure why.
Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.
someday love will find you?
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 27, 2008 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions
the Winds of March
Opened the Door for velez and bocock
unfortunately, the Giants have Something to Hide.
Infinity f^cking rulez.
"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"
by The Gene Hackman on Mar 28, 2008 5:49 PM PDT up reply actions
**!!**
"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"
by The Gene Hackman on Mar 28, 2008 6:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Another musical matchup
The Texas Rangers as The Mars Volta, in a pretty funny link:
http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2008/02/27/mlb-video-previews-the-texas-rangers-are-the-mars-volta/
Like the Grateful Dead...
...the 2008 Giants promise to be completely unwatchable while sober.
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
Oh, and by the way...
...it's just "Squeeze", not "The Squeeze". Although I have a vague memory that one of their latter-day releases came out using that name.
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
...also by the way...Tempted was written by Difford and Tilbrook, but Elvis Costello decided that it would sound better sung by keyboardist Paul Carrack.
I used to be disgusted, but now I try to be amused!
I remember Tilbrook being pissed because he was excited about Carrack (who was a successful solo artist and the former lead singer of Ace) joining the band, and after Glenn gave him "Tempted" and some other songs, he walked out of the band after just a couple of months. The real keyboard player for most of their successful years was Jools Holland, who now has a successful talk show in England.
Randy Messenger: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!!"
Behind the Music
Carrack went on to become the lead singer of Mike and the Mechanics (who anyone alive in the 80s might remember for their embarassingly cheesy song "The Living Years"). Holland went on to play that incredible piano solo in the bridge of "Pulling Mussels from a Shell", perhaps the best Squeeze song ever. JOOLS HOLLAND 4 TEH WIN!
Eagerly awaiting Crazy Crab Bobblehead Night on 7/18.
Tilbrook's lead vocals on "Tempted" (available on live recordings) are far better than Carrack's. But then again, I think Tilbrook's vocals on everything he did was brilliant, especially "Goodbye Girl" & "Is that Love".
2008 Giants: A steaming pile of scrap!
that's Elvis C. singing the line:
"The people keep on Talkin"... fwiw.
"ever so cynical yet whimsical giants related signature"
by The Gene Hackman on Mar 28, 2008 5:51 PM PDT up reply actions
SFG vs Grizzlies
Now come on admit that Pat Misch shows more class and talent than Zito never mind Corriea or Sanchez
yankeefan "If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." Mickey Mantle
Dodger/Red Sox fan would be more disgusting IMO. Half the time it would whine about some injustice forced upon the team and the other half of the time it would be failing to read properly and trying to eat its own young.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 27, 2008 1:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh and if it's female it's posting horribly written Jason Varitek fanfic.
Democracy is lovely but baseball is more mature. BVCE supports Manny Burriss and SF Dugout.
by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 27, 2008 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions
The Giants are this band on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtMSkHVeFU0
Like the band, they suck to begin with. Then, the singer falls off the stage, exposing that they're fakes - like when Bonds was out for most of the season, exposing the basic worthlessness of the rest of the team. Instantly they're exposed as a sad joke, but they just keep going on as though nothing has happened - the band still pretends to play, and Sabean keeps making idiotic moves and keeps overpaying for Proven Veterans.
Dodgers/ Band
I see that among the original comparisons, the Dodgers are likened to Coldplay, as both are technically solid if completely uninspiring. I think that these guys are perhaps a better match.
Wow!
Why hasn't anyone posted that before?!?
2008: My previous assessment may have been overly optimistic.
If the Giants were contestants on Bulgarian Idol...
Disfrute Los Gigantes every day at www.leftymalo.com
Fade to Orange and Black
Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filing me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it to late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye
http://www.encycmet.com/lyrics/lyr-rtl4.shtml
Bonds stands alone.
by nostocksjustbonds on Mar 27, 2008 2:54 PM PDT reply actions
I like the Michael Jackson analogy
Both produced some of their best work during the late 60s and early 70s. Sure, they both had some bright spots during the 80s… but lately it’s embarrassing to admit you’re a fan of either :P
"You Know I'm Bad,
I'm Bad-You Know It…"
My band = Giants
We suck really bad and don't have any hits either.
Ruben Rivera: Incompetent oaf, or mad genius?
by Stuttering John Tamargo on Mar 27, 2008 4:08 PM PDT reply actions
lesse..
..what band was a deeply flawed, overblown train wreck that nevertheless featured a couple of talented kids with real potential?
Nearly every rock band in the history of time.
No wonder this comparison springs to mind.
My entry: the Sex Pistols.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Their best talent is long gone & their greatest hits were many years ago.
"One little problem that confronts you
Got a monkey on your back
Just one more fix, Lord might do the trick
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you"
Sex Pistols
The Giants' best comparison is the Sex Pistols, because the entire team is just Rotten. By midseason however, they'll be as dead as the bass player.
Randy Messenger: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!!"
Musical Chairs
Ah I want to point out a few things about music history.
Jerry Garcia died in 1995. The Dead haven't really existed since then. Jason Newstead was not in the band for the Master of Puppets. It was the truly awesome Cliff Burton who played on that album. He has a Barbary Coast Plaque in front of the Condor. Metallica has sucked shit since the unfortunate demise of Cliff Burton.
That's why Rowand=Newsted...
...because the Giants are a big Load right now. Bonds would be Burton in my orginal analogy....
by Grant Brisbee on Mar 28, 2008 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions
I think the analogy breaks down, because the 2008 season would be "And justice for all...", which frankly was pretty decent.
Also, I think we missed the analogy because they way you wrote
for every five minutes of soothing music, there's twenty minues of screaming dissonance that makes you want to put your fist through the wallit kinda makes it seem like you didn't like MoP.
On the other hand, if instead of 1 album = 1 year, 1 year = 1year (and ignoring re-releases like garage days)
1983 Kill em all
1984 Ride the lightning
1986 Master of Puppets
1988 And justice...
1991 "Self titled"
1996 Load
1997 Reload
2003 St. Anger
So the Bonds though 2004 years = Burton years, 1983-1986, And justice for all = Bonds post Balco 2005-2007.
That would mean we have another 12 years or so until the Giants become watchable (St. Anger, while nothing like the good stuff, is at least tolerable)
FIRE BRIAN SABEAN
Giants and GD are a great pair but not for the reasons listed above...
According to Grant, someone at the Good Phite said:
> Defined for years by the presence of a bloated, drug-addled figurehead
> who all the fans paid to see, at the expense of developing or addressing
> the needs of the rest of the group
What this doesnt address Bonds' and Garcia's incredible achievements and the opportunity offered their fans to share them. Either or both of them may not be your cup of meat, but their's no denying that they both stand atop--not alone, but atop--their peers in their chosen fields of endeavor.
I know I'm not alone in being thankful to be able to witness their talent for so many years right here in my own backyard--and on the roadtrips.
RIP Jerome. Good luck finding work Barry.
And one more thing--who the hell spells fight (or anything starting with an F for that matter) with a PH?! Sheesh.
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